[SweetSunshine]

Yes I've got one right now. And in some ways I think its ok for me to have it. You tell me if I have good reason to or not.

Starting out here. Hubby's family wants to give his parents a 50th wedding anniversary party AGAIN. We gave them a huge one for their 40th while both their moms were still alive. This is what they wanted. I mean we had like 500 people invited to this thing and gave $1000 each and there are 4 of us to this party. Not a light expense for hubby and I since we are on one income. Hubby talked to me about having this 50th WA party. And I shot it down. I dont feel that we need to do this again. I really dont. I think its asking alot for one reason. And another is I"d like to get some enjoyment out of some money that we are trying to save back by going on a vacation.

While hubby and I were in T last year. He agreed and I did too . That if I got a vacation planned ( which is part of it he doesnt like to do ) He would go. NO PROBLELM! This made me very happy, because I've seen too many people die young. Who didnt get to enjoy life. And I want to experience life!!! I have never EVER seen the ocean in my 39 yrs. I've been wanting to do this for 16 yrs now . And now I got this start on planning it , I cant tell you how excited and happy I am to know this is finally going to happen the end of August.

While I was in the ER a little over a week ago. I was trying to think about that. How much more I wanted to do this because of the not knowing where the chest pains I was having were coming from. I was scared for my life , I was discouraged because I may not ever get to see another one of my dreams come true. One of the things I am planning on is going to see Kenny Chesney in concert at Virginia Beach. So I asked Hubby whom has gone with me several times to KC's concerts the past 5 yrs , if he wanted to go or if he just wanted me and my frined to go. We will be staying with this friend while we are down there. He looked at me .. after all the talk about going on this vacation with him.. and said I didnt agree to go on this vacation. I didnt understand. He let me go on and on and on..about going on this vacation.. and now he's shot it down.. again.. just like every other time we've planned on doing this. So he snottishly said to me no I dont want to go to the concert. I was like fine.. I AM STILL GOING DOWN THERE WITH OR WITHOUT YOU! I stood my ground. I am not going to let him ruin this for ME. Selfish sounding or not. I AM GOING.

I talked to T about this situation. I started feeling a little bit guilty about going like that without my husband. He said that I shouldnt feel guilty because hubby agreed to go and he is renigging now. This is his problem now. T is encouraging me to go. I told him that I will have to get over my fear of flying now because I cant drive down there. He said why not? *T used to be a truckdriver so everything is drivable to him lol* He said its only a 9 hr drive there .. I could do that in a day. Mmmmmmmmk. Not sure about that one.. I get tired when I drive long distances. lol But the more we talked about this the more he was like Beth think about how empowering this is going to be for you. Think about how much this will help your self esteem and confidence in yourself. So I am gonna give hubby a deadline as to when he can decide if he is going or not. And if he decides he is not going... or not .. he cant renig on that decision. I am going regardless.

Sorry again that this is soo long. I know its alot of reading. But I guess I would like opinions on this. The good bad and ugly ones lol.

Thanks~
Beth

<font color="blue">Virginia Beach... here I come!!!!!! </font>

[h0kie]

Duuuuuuuuuuude. You practically drive right by our house. You're welcome to spend the night here. It'd probably be a little over halfway, but it's a stopping point.

Good luck with your hubby.

[SeptemberMorn]

So what do you want to see the most; KC or the ocean?? Figure that out and then go from there.

It would be tough for me to make a decision on the anniversary party. If it was me, I'd want one... but... it wouldn't be me shelling out the dough. The 50th wedding anniversary IS a big one! However, I don't think it has to be expensive.

[SweetSunshine]

Duuuuuuuuuuudette!!!.. I was trying to call you about this!! LOLOL!!!!!!! And IM you .. but your never home lol. Hopefully we will get a hold of soon.

[SweetSunshine]

Tomi~

KC will be down there right by the ocean so I can see both!! LOL.

LIke I said .. we had a HUGE 40th already for his parents. Forking out alot of money. I know them and this is going to be an every 10 yr thing they are going to want this. How far and how much do we have to bend over for them for these huge parties. And another thing.. theres this thing called inflation. Prices have gone up from 10 yrs ago . I think it would be just as nice for the family to go to a really nice restaurant and have a nice dinner together. Everyone pays for their own and us kids will split their parents fee. I wouldnt be considering going to VA Beach if I had to pay for a hotel the whole time. I couldnt afford that either. And believe me I dont need to do a bunch of expensive things down there. Just some time at the beach will be fine with me.

[bebop]

ok my 2 cents worth. not that it is worth that much lol. ok a 50th is a very big deal but does not have to be expensive. all my hubbys siblings kind of did a huge cookout bring a dish for his parents. it was great! none of us had to spend alot of money on it either. it was all outdoors.

as far as the driving to virginia beach I say go if you can afford to go. your T is right! it will be very empowering for you! yes I did drive a truck but for a long time I didn't do it alone. I was afraid. I faced that fear and it felt wonderful! I knew then I would never have to depend on anyone except myself. well til my injury. go for it beth! you will be glad you did!

[seeker1950]

Beth, Just as you and others have mentioned here, why not just have a nice dinner at a restaurant, or a cookout with immediate family!??? That sounds perfectly reasonable and thoughtful enough, in my humble opinion. Reading your experience here with your husband, his wanting to give parents this big party, then renegging on the vacation and the concert, sounds like he is being resentful and now depriving you of your vacation plans??? I could be wrong...
As for driving to Va Beach, I have been there a couple of times, and, like you, driving tires me, plus, it is stressful. I don't want to discourage you about driving there, but there is a lot to deal with in the metopolitan areas getting to Va. Beach, a congested area. Have you checked air prices? Flights from here in WV (Charleston) to Myrtle Beach are very, very cheap right now. At one point it was $39 one way! With the cost of gas, plus the stress of driving, I'd check prices for flights to Va Beach first! (Keep in mind, this is a "driving wimp" talking!
Love
Patty

[Direction]

If the family is really set on having a large party like the 40 yr WA - then simply let them know that at this time you would not be able to contribute in the same fashion. You may make a modest donation or offer to take on some "service" type tasks.

No need to explain that you want to take a vacation - your business - not theirs. It is certainly ok to take a well needed vacation then spend a lot of money celebrating at a party that isn't part of your plan for the family.

Anyway I hope this gives you a starting point...

[SeptemberMorn]

When I said "expensive" I was talking about a party for the inlaws, Silly!! Yeah... a nice dinner sounds good to me!

Guess my issues were showing through. Only once have my kids given me a party and that was my daughter when I turned 40. No big thing. She just invited a couple of my friends to our house and decorated the front room. I know no one will think of celebrating any wedding anniversaries here! If I could just have my three boys together at the same time with all their families would be celebration enough for me!

[h0kie]

There really isn't that much "city" driving. You'll have to go through Columbus, Richmond, and the outskirts of DC. I've been on the roads in PA, WV, and Maryland and they're not too bad.

Mostly Bethy, you'll need to plan accordingly. Don't plan to hit the Columbus, Richmond, or NoVA areas during rush hour (6-8AM, 4-6PM). Otherwise, the roads are easy and it's beautiful country. Hubby and I made it to Richmond when the weather wasn't so hot without a problem.

As for flying, the closest airport is Richmond or Norfolk which means you'd have to rent a car which is a whole new issue.

Like I said Bethy, you're welcome to take a side trip here and stay with us overnight. It's about 8 hours for you to come here and we're 4 hours from the beach. Plus, from our place to the beach, you skip most of the DC met. area. It was easy when we went to Richmond.

[Wants2Fly]

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bebop said:
ok a 50th is a very big deal but does not have to be expensive. all my hubbys siblings kind of did a huge cookout bring a dish for his parents. it was great! none of us had to spend alot of money on it either. it was all outdoors.

as far as the driving to virginia beach I say go if you can afford to go. your T is right! it will be very empowering for you! go for it beth! you will be glad you did!

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Hold your ground on the money and enjoy your vacation. You deserve it.

[TYMBERWOLV]

sWEET ,

U KNOW MY ANSWER GO AHEAD AND DO WHAT IS GOING TO MKAE U HAPPY I KNOW FOR A FACT U HAVE BEEN WAITING ON THIS FOR A WHILE

[Perna]

SweetSunshine, I say, try to do the drive! I drove down to my girlfriend from high school in Atlanta 13 hours in a day and have visited another, online friend, from here in Baltimore to Ohio. It's an interesting experience, packing the car and figuring out what music to listen to :-)

It's almost a bit relaxing, just sitting in the slow lane and thinking one's various thoughts, figuring stuff out, etc. I use to listen to books on tape too sometimes and it's great to have such a stretch of time to listen (unlike on the way to work where one can barely finish a side of tape). But stop in the middle for a meal and that will help perk you back up for the rest of the trip.

The whole thing is almost guaranteed to make you feel better about yourself, helps my self esteem to plan and pull off such an event all by myself. I say, go for it, girl!