[ForevahAlone]

Ugh. That's really it. Men just are NOT interested in me. I'm just so upset everyday. I can't live like this. Someone talk me off the ledge please. Lol.

[Ganganthefatman]

What makes you think this?

[seeker1950]

I've been thru too many attempts at "love" to recount, then having the huge effort of time and emotional energy for recovery. That, plus a 20 year mistake of a marriage, loveless, and endured on my part because of being bullied into staying.

There are worse things than being alone. Please try to embrace and enjoy your alone-ness. Involve yourself in activities which you can enjoy, while also possibly meeting potential partners. Do this for yourself, though, not for the soul purpose of finding a partner.

Taking college classes is a great self-improvement avenue, while meeting people of like interests.

[divine1966]

I struggle with relationships my whole life. I most certainly am a great catch. I attract people with whom it will never work. Do you attract people who just aren't into you? Something from your childhood hunts you? Are in therapy?

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[healingme4me]

Did something happen in your last relationship to cause you to believe that you're unloveable?

[fuegolaluz]

It's hard to be alone. I remember having a lot of distorted ideas during my that time.

[ForevahAlone]

I've never even had a relationship. Not even a date. Hell, I never even had one of those meaningless twelve-year-old, spin the bottle type first kisses. Nothing.

[Soul Quake]

Do you put yourself out there?

[divine1966]

I had to read your previous posts. For G-d's sake you are 22. Plenty of people never had no one at 22. My nephew didn't date until 24. He is gorgeous he is TEN, athletic college educated engineer with great income. He is now 25 and now has awesome gf. Plenty of great people had no one at your age. This entire time I thought you are like 40.

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[avlady]

i know you are too young to be thinking like this you have your whole life ahead of you. the person you're searching for will come along sooner or later, don't worry, i'm sure you'd be a great catch.

[Rose76]

As said above, you do have to put yourself out there. I'm starting to come around to the idea that computer match ups are not the worst idea in the world, if you use match-making to meet a variety of guys to choose from, instead of trying to stick with the first one that cones up. Also, you need to be willing to do what you'ld do shopping for anything else: turn down what doesn't seem to be quite what you're looking for. Turn down and move on.

Do you have girlfriends to go out with to spots where you might meet men? That's been the method that gets used a lot, but it's pretty hit or miss.

[meganb22]

I'm sure you don't want to hear it, but I'm going to say it. Finding a man isn't the most important thing in life. I've experienced that the more desperate you are to attract someone, the crazier/creepier the guys you attract. It's hard to be alone sometimes, but I really encourage you not to make having a boyfriend the be all end all for your life. Try to enjoy life and yourself. You'll be surprised what happens when you aren't looking.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by meganb22

I'm sure you don't want to hear it, but I'm going to say it. Finding a man isn't the most important thing in life. I've experienced that the more desperate you are to attract someone, the crazier/creepier the guys you attract. It's hard to be alone sometimes, but I really encourage you not to make having a boyfriend the be all end all for your life. Try to enjoy life and yourself. You'll be surprised what happens when you aren't looking.

I totally agree.

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[ForevahAlone]

I have to be forty plus to be unhappy that no one pays any attention to me? Gotcha.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by ForevahAlone

I have to be forty plus to be unhappy that no one pays any attention to me? Gotcha.

Nope. We are just saying that not finding a man at 22 isn't that unusual. You aren't alone in it. We are trying to encourage you to focus on positive. We are being supportive

This reply of yours though makes me think there maybe more to the picture. More reasons behind your bad experiences . The way you reacted to us, do you ever react this way in real life?




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[ForevahAlone]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Nope. We are just saying that not finding a man at 22 isn't that unusual. You aren't alone in it. We are trying to encourage you to focus on positive. We are being supportive

This reply of yours though makes me think there maybe more to the picture. More reasons behind your bad experiences . The way you reacted to us, do you ever react this way in real life?




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I apologize for the knee-jerk, rude response. It is just soooo frustrating because everyone in my life trivializes my feelings about this. I just want to love someone and be loved. That's it.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by ForevahAlone

I apologize for the knee-jerk, rude response. It is just soooo frustrating because everyone in my life trivializes my feelings about this. I just want to love someone and be loved. That's it.

And you will. You are too young to be discouraged. Listen I am almost 50 and I didn't give up hope. Life just began for you. I don't recall if you said you are seeing a therapist. That might help too

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[ForevahAlone]

Originally Posted by divine1966

And you will. You are too young to be discouraged. Listen I am almost 50 and I didn't give up hope. Life just began for you. I don't recall if you said you are seeing a therapist. That might help too

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I've never been to a therapist. I know I need to but I'm too afraid to make an appointment.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by ForevahAlone

I've never been to a therapist. I know I need to but I'm too afraid to make an appointment.

What are you afraid of? What's other alternative?

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[nicoleflynn]

I am 68 and been alone for 14 years; hate being alone, but am working full timeand going to school. If we engage in life......stay busy etc., sooner or later we will meet someone who interests us....volunteer, join a group, etc.there are no guarantees in life, but we need to find a way to be happy.

Fear will keep you stuck and prevent you from doing positive things. Hope you wil make an appointment with a therapist. It is scary,but the best work you will ever do.

[Bill3]

I've never been to a therapist. I know I need to but I'm too afraid to make an appointment.

What if you break this down into some smaller steps? Perhaps you can do some preliminary steps online.

So for example if you live in the US at least you can search on line for therapists in your area, for example, through Find-a-Therapist at Psychology Today. You could read their statements, look at their photos, and maybe prepare a list of four or five that seem reasonable to explore further when you are ready.

What is your thinking about this concept?

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by ForevahAlone

I apologize for the knee-jerk, rude response. It is just soooo frustrating because everyone in my life trivializes my feelings about this. I just want to love someone and be loved. That's it.

I do understand how it seems like when expressing your desire, it gets trivialized. Probably from those that have already been in long term relationships, I guess??
That whole grass isn't always greener cliche comes to my mind. To experience love and loving can also come with great pain and responsibilities, almost like having a baby/child and many times like having a teenager.
Much advice does come with a backdrop of why waste your youth/life pining for something that isn't always magical?

[ForevahAlone]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

I do understand how it seems like when expressing your desire, it gets trivialized. Probably from those that have already been in long term relationships, I guess??
That whole grass isn't always greener cliche comes to my mind. To experience love and loving can also come with great pain and responsibilities, almost like having a baby/child and many times like having a teenager.
Much advice does come with a backdrop of why waste your youth/life pining for something that isn't always magical?

It is always relatives who've always been in a relationship! The kind of people that can't even function without a man. Lol. But they're telling me that dating isn't important.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by ForevahAlone

It is always relatives who've always been in a relationship! The kind of people that can't even function without a man. Lol. But they're telling me that dating isn't important.

If they cannot function without, are they the healthiest examples?

Are you creating about yourself an aura of being approachable? Are you placing yourself in environments to strike up conversation?

[divine1966]

How do you know they can't function without a relationship? Just because people are in a relationship or dating doesn't always mean they can't survive without one. Unless of course they directly tell you that I would be careful assuming.

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