My boyfriend is a runner

Maybe it's good that you do become slower to trust. Your complete trust should be hard won.

So... he just "incidentally" posted a picture from my neighbourhood on social media and I am feeling really creeped out. I saw this by accident, but I think he wants to give me the message that "he is around". Wow it is scary. I cannot describe how this makes me feel. I have never ever experienced something so strange. I wish he would run far away now, and leave me alone. When I couldn't make him really stay during our relationship, why is he holding on so fast now? Has he no respect at all for me? I have to deal with this passive sort of lingering showing presence thing somehow. Still the heartache is so bad, but this triggers some feelings that are worse.

He had a really good deal with you, and that's very tough to replace. You gave everything you could, while he gave you what little he could spare after he met all his own needs. In a way, you created a monster. If for any reason you interact with him, make yourself as boring as possible. You want him to lose interest.

He's in an actual rage. Here's a link: What is Narcissistic Rage? « The Narcissist at Work

I'm not saying he is a narcissist, or that this article is a perfect description of him. (I don't know him.) But - take away what resonates, and some of it should.

An excerpt:

Narcissist never, ever, ever let go of their supply. And if that “supply” leaves them to the point they can no longer control them? Look out.

Nevermind what any mutual friends may, or may not, think. This is between you and him.

Respect for you? You see now how you only count to the extent that you fulfill his needs. That is the reason for your existance - in his mind. A man at the level of maturity that is normal for age 28 can accept that a relationship of one year's duration is being ended. He can be sad, but recognize that your goals are not compatible. He knows perfectly well that he could have saved the relationship, by making certain sacrifices. How dare you put those requirements on him!! How dare you!! That's his mentality.

No doubt people who know him are concerned. Not getting what he wants from you is a disaster for him. And there won't be women lining up to take your place. Sex is easy enough to find, but he wants complete devotion. He probably had a mother who didn't satisfy his needs as a child, or who over-indulged him. Now whatever woman he is with has to spend her life making up to him for that. Not much of a life for any woman.

Hm that's weird. Block his number un friend on social media and stop contact completely

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I have already. Now I even deleted my Instagram account, so there are no possibilities left whatsoever. I just hope he doesn't stop by my house again. Kind of anxious though. I noticed this sort of pushy behaviour with him earlier during our disagreements in the relationship. He would get really close and intimidating to me whenever I told him that he had to back off.
I know that his father was likely to abuse his sons physically when BF and his brother where still living at home, and that their family issues were never solved. He can sort this out with his T now, and I pray he leaves me alone. There is no way this goes on. This craziness has to stop at some point, I just can't take it anymore. The waiting for me after yoga class was too much already, and how he followed me when I told him to go and leave me alone. A friend of mine offered to call him and tell him politely to leave me alone. She is reasonable and cool and has my back on this, but I was hesitant to accept her offer.

Tell him you are making police report next time he comes around

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I will, but I hope he won't. I have had so many strange experiences with him, I feel so ... alienated? His behaviour just doesn't and didn't fit anything I would have expected from anyone. I had a totally different picture of this person, and now I wonder if I shouldn't have seen it right in the beginning. There were so many strange situations. This was all so hard. I had to fight throughout this relationship and now I have had to fight to get out of it. I wonder what I would have done had I not had the strength to go through with this. It was so incredibly hard already. I think I have to go lay down. Much too trying.

I don't know what to say. I met him in my street today and he said he was watching an apartment round here. I said I don't want him to move to my neighbourhood. I hate this.

Wow. That's creepy. Can you move?

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I thought about it, but I like my environment and my apartment and don't really have money or time to move :/
We talked a little bit and he told me again he can't let go. I was pretty clear about everything and explained the separation again, but he just won't let go. He didn't threaten me or anything, but he just repeats how he wants me back, that I was the first person to love him ever and that he can't let go of it

I guess I have to move. My home no longer feels safe. He said he has acontract but he wouldn't say where exactly. I start to hate him

What Rose76 said earlier - how dare I leave him etc. - it is true. He really sees it that way. He calls me selfish and him the poor guy whom I treat like dirt, because I asked him not to move here. I don't know what to do or whom to ask for support. I am all alone with this s***. I just don't know how to handle this. I don't understand, I don't know how to react, this is crazy and I am losing my mind. I can't afford to move somewhere else right now and it is hard to find an apartment in this city. I guess I will have to ignore him.
At least I can see clearly now who he really is. I cannot believe I fell for this person. How he tries to manipulate every situation. He didn't answer my question, but wanted to make me listen to him first, how he is, how badly he is doing, and so on. How he cannot accept a "no". Unbelievable.
Sorry for my ranting. I am sitting in my living room dealing with this information and I simply don't know what to do. My life is complicated enough, I definitely didn't need this insanity.
I should have run like hell when I saw him on the street yesterday.

I hope he will eventually leave you alone or you might have to threaten to file a police report

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Hopefully ignoring him works, if not, keep a copy of all communication that states he wont let you go.


That way if he does move, you have something tangible to show a police officer.

Get a little notebook to record any attempts he makes to contact you. It might be useful, if you have to make a police report.

I think you are very prudent to regard this guy with some measure of fear. About the safest thing you can do is try to avoid crossing paths with him. If you run into him, make yourself as boring as possible. But don't demonstrate fear. That can excite the "chase instinct." He's acting a little like a predator. You don't want to act like prey, but you certainly want to elude him as best you can. If he's telling you things "again and again," then you are giving him too much opportunity to talk. Don't keep explaining yourself to him. He knows perfectly well why the relationship ended. You'll never get through to him with reason and logic. He doesn't care about what is fair.

I'm not surprised to hear that he was abused by his father. That also tells you something about his mother - that she didn't protect him. So he's got plenty to be angry about. He is an extremely confused man, emotionally, and all you can do is separate yourself and move on with your life. And don't concern yourself with mutual friends who want to bring you two together again. This guy is dangerous, and now you see that. I'm glad you do.

When I stopped the conversation on the phone and ended it by hanging up, he used the time until I blocked him again to insult me via text messages. I am done talking to him at all now. My landlord can ban him from our house, and I think I should get some counselling on this.

It just feels so awful. I hope he backs off now. I am amazed by how rude and reckless his behaviour is. He has a twisted view on reality right now and he twists everything. He is overstepping the boundaries but I am the mean one who ignores his feelings - I should know better, but still it messes with my mind...
Thank you ladies for your comments. I would never have expected that this thread might turn into a Stalker S.O.S handbook

I don't think counseling will tell you much you don't already know about how to end this relationship. Counseling might help you figure out how you got so deep onto it, without realizing what this guy was about. That might be worth exploring, so you don't find yourself in a similar situation a year from now.