I like him more than he likes me

divine1966: Thank you, you're right: it just didn't work between us. I need to find someone that is more into me and compatible.

crosstobear: No worries, you made a good point that he probably has trust issues. Especially since he was abandoned by an ex he had a relationship with for several years. So that could be one reason he was so guarded.

popuri88: Thanks so much for your comment. I hope he wasn't ambivalent and did like me to a degree, though post breakup I have questioned this. People I've talked to have told me they see a lot of red flags, so now I'm questioning things, but it's so confusing because he did seem like a good guy to me. What you said was very relevant because I do get very insecure and doubt my perceptions about a relationship (whether positive or negative). Hopefully we will both get better with this in time.

rcat: I wouldn't say we are opposites because I like reading just as much as him. And I used to be into video games even though I hadn't played much until he showed me ones he liked again. But I agree that it was unhealthy to have it be a one way street and I should have tried harder to share my interests. Thanks for the advice.

I'm not so sure 'try' is the operative word here.Sharing one another's interests should just happen.

That's probably true, except for me it was tough and an effort because with my interests (ex: psychology, philosophy), it's more about talking than doing. And I was nervous/uncomfortable talking about certain things. Or I didn't know how to put it into words. I think part of it was that I didn't feel comfortable with him in particular. And he didn't show enough interest by asking questions.

I believe in the beginning of relationship things should just be natural and easy. Relationships require work but later on. If you need to try hard in the beginning it is typically going to get worse. Also people don't have to have same interests to have a connection.

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I agree that the beginning of a relationship should be easy too. To be honest I don't really believe in relationships where people are trying to "work out" from the beginning, that doesn't work for me, but, I've seen it work before. Mostly always they fail, though. My sister was in of those before and it lasted 1 year... I told her from the beginning it wasn't going too far.

divine and popuri: Thanks for the insight, I like the theory that relationships should be easy early on. It makes sense, and this is something new that I learned that I did not know about relationships. You shouldn't have to force a connection. But I always feel like I am the exception to rules like this because I'm impossibly anxious/can't be myself around people/can't connect. Social things are usually a struggle with me, at least relationships beyond surface level. Or at least I judge myself that way. I'm hoping that I will be able to easily with the right person. Maybe it's the rare person that I am actually comfortable with because I can think of certain crushes or friends in the past that I could open up to more or be myself around. Maybe I should just trust and have faith in myself and keep this theory in mind instead of saying it's true for everyone but me.

Yeah, this is the kind of distorted insight that I was talking about.
The opposite can happen too, you mistake being in love when you find someone you "click" with easily. It happened to me before.