I feel insecure

Hi, I don't post too much these days but I thought I would post-

I've been talking with a girl online- which I've known for about two years or so. We had some time apart here and there where we wouldn't talk. She asked me if I wanted to skype instead of just keeping in touch with the usual forum we would have used aka a social anxiety forum.

So I said okay I would like that.

We've been talkin on there and I thought we really had a thing going so I told her I had feelings for her after awhile because I couldn't hold my emotions back any longer. Sort of a big thing for someone like me being able to come out to a girl telling her of my feelings of her and it turned out better than I would have thought. We continued talking and I guess we could be considered boyfriend and girlfriend. I talked to her about what I could consider her and she said I could consider her my girlfriend so it's not onesided like another girl in the past. (one of my past threads lol)

The relations are pretty fresh really, haven't been too long maybe a couple of weeks now? I'm not sure, I sort of lost track.

It's new to me to really feel like I am with a serious person though. I always have the nagging feeling that she doesn't like me and that she only said okay because she's too nice to say no. I'm afraid to lose her because of my insecurity.

I mean I should just be happy and I am. I am pleased. She's great. I'm lucky to have managed I think.

I just- I have problems I guess since I'm new at this pretty much. I knew we would have quiet days because it was mentioned between the two of us that sometimes it's okay to be quiet and not talk much. Though I guess I can't help but feel insecure when we don't talk much. I don't want to annoy her either though so I guess I should just wait for her to message me.

I hate being so insecure and I guess I physically long for physical touch but we haven't really been together long enough yet to consider flying out to see one another. We made it both clear what we both want and it's the same so.

I hope it works out. I'm afraid I'll mess it up.

If you two enjoy each other's company I suggest you do make an effort to meet. I would warn you against talking for too long before meeting as others posted when they met there was nothing there and it's painful. I dated someone long distance. It didn't work out in a long run as it was too difficult working and having kids and date long distance for both of us ( he was a very nice man though) but when we first started talking we maybe talked a month before meeting. You might want to meet half way if it is less expensive.

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Only a month? Almost seems like jumping the gun a bit- we were planning on trying to webcam a bit first beforehand which we were both a bit shy to get around to doing I think. I can understand the possibility of there being nothing there which could be quite- bad, I guess. Lately I don't know how to feel and maybe I should just accept the idea that I'll probably be alone for the rest of my life. Sure I'll probably have moments of bonding here and there but I tend to think eventually everyone leaves me so I don't see the point of being upset and insecure at the idea that someone would leave.

I do though anyway. I'm usually told when it comes to this type of stuff to find local girls and it's not like I couldn't- I don't think I am unattractive. Maybe just having a boring personality and a desire for creating a comfortable family life with someone. Not to sound like I want to give up on the girl I am seeing online atm of course.

I don't see how month is jumping a gun. I am not saying we went to bed or got married after a month. Lol we've simply met. It's not a big deal. If there is a connection I do not see any point in wasting time online.

I honestly think long distance is too hard and that one time was enough but no way I would waste my time online being so busy.

At the time I still had a kid living at home and he had two and we both had professional jobs plus i was getting my masters in the evenings. When we've net we liked each other and dated for a bit.

Long distance became too difficult as it started effecting our professional and family responsibilities plus finances. So I figured with my life style I would never do long distance again.

I do suggest dating local girls but if you do like this one plan on eventually meeting her.

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I do plan on meeting her, we've talked of that already. Just not quite there yet since I would need to finish this semester of school up and our lives aren't quite as busy as yours would be considered since no kids. We both have like aspergers too so I think that affects things as well. Our social skills aren't quite that good.

Okay I talked to her and I feel a lot less insecure now. We conversed over the microphone for the first time really and it was as expected lol. Though we both knew that. I am glad we have such a clear understanding of one another and I hope for it to continue to progress overtime.

Sounds very good. I am pleased to hear that. I wish you good luck. I understand not rushing to meet right away especially being in school. It was just a general recommendation not to get too wrapped up until you two meet. Hope all goes well

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Yeah it's good, I'm trying not to get too wrapped up I suppose. Though I probably am a little bit.

Super cool, Steiner! I'm happy for you. I hope you don't live too far apart; that would probably increase anxiety quite a bit.
Not at the morgue! Yea!... ...

Thule my man! You're awesome! The ladies really dig you!

Uhm, I hope it is going well! I think talking on cam would be a good step before meeting on person, it is like baby steps while a long-distance meet up does feel a lot more pressure.

I just wanted to say, it is tough to try and walk that line between really caring about someone and wanting it to work out and like... Knowing realistically that things do not always go as planned and "I should prepare for the worst." It feels safer to keep saying "I'll probably end up alone" and similar things I saw you mention before, because actually hoping for something feels dangerous. But I think as you talk longer, you should let yourself think more about it working out.

Sometimes we make our own self-fulfilling prophecies, and it helps to have a positive one! But I totally understand being guarded at first. I just noticed some of the words you chose to describe, is all.

Yeah we live about 10 hours apart lol, though still better than living in another country I would think so.

By 10 hours apart i mean by car. 10 hours apart.

Thule! You're a catch!

Thanks Moogs~!