17 year old male with severe relationship issues

So this is my first time posting here, or on any forum, but I have nowhere else to turn for advice. I'm sorry if I make this too long or something, it's a long complicated situation.
I am a junior in high school and am dual enrolled in my local community college - by the end of my senior year I will graduate with an associates degree. I have grown up around people older than me, and it reflects in my bearing - I am not wired to think or act like a 17 year old, many people I meet think I'm in my early 20's. All in all I am very mature and have high hopes for my future.
The one area of my life that has continuously failed is relationships - I have NEVER had one work out, from middle school to now (approx. 6 relationships). Of those, the most serious was with a girl I dated for just over a year, until she slept with another guy at a party and effectively ended the relationship. That was in October 2014. After that relationship, I developed severe trust issues and a fear of commitment, along with my anxiety (which I know I have) and this fear I have of losing everyone I'm close to (stems from a lot of failed relationships and deaths over the course of my life). I went from October 2014 to December 2015 without even attempting to talk to a girl, I was that scarred. Then things changed.
I work at a grocery store, and this new girl started in December. For the sake of anonymity I'll change her name to Katie. Her father had started working there about 3 months beforehand, and I had trained him and have to this day a great working relationship with him. Katie and I immediately hit it off, from pretty much day 1 we would flirt all the time, and after a few days I got her number. We started talking all the time, and developed a very close friendship. Neither of us asked how old the other was - I figured she was 19, and come to find out she thought I was 19. Turns out Katie is 23, turning 24 in June. By the time we found out, we were very close, and I had started developing feelings for her in a more romantic way.
I took a chance and mentioned her to my dad, being honest about the age difference but hoping that he wouldn't mind me wanting to get to know her better. He was noncommittal during the conversation, later that night my parents sat me down and talked to me about Katie (he had told my mom). Instead of being cool about it, they freaked out, and told me I would NEVER be allowed to pursue anything with her, that if I got caught TEXTING her I would lose my phone, and that I had no business liking someone 6.5 years older than me. This really pissed me off and I ignored them based on the strength of my feelings - Katie had broken down walls I'd spent over a year building up.
From mid December through January, Katie and I continued to talk every day for the vast majority of the day. We would take lunches together at work, one time I was able to go spend a few hours with her, and we'd visit each other at work all the time. Our relationship got stronger and stronger, we started the first steps of intimacy (hugging, hand holding, etc., haven't kissed). Finally I told her exactly how I feel, and what I wanted for us. She said she felt like we could work out, but she didn't want anything serious at the time because she too has a fear of opening up to others due to an abusive ex of 3 years. She says one day she wants to be with me in a romantic way, but that she just needs a little longer to open up herself.
On February 1st, I came home from work and instantly was harassed by my parents. I had to turn over my phone and then my mom produced a stack of phone records showing all my text messages for the month of January, and she proceeded to ream me for talking to Katie when she told me not to. She told me that she barely kept herself from going to my place of work and harassing Katie, and from calling the cops. My parents were about to make me quit my job over this. They told me if I get caught talking to her again they WILL call the police and get her charged as a sex offender (which she is NOT, and her and I have done NOTHING). I was very upset, went days without talking to Katie, then I caved in and downloaded a messaging app to talk to her with, to avoid sms logging. This was about 2 weeks ago now.
Last night I came home from work pretty late, and my parents jumped down my throat about it and then accused me of still talking to Katie and saying they think I was with her instead of being stuck at work late. Then my mom told me she had TRACKED KATIE DOWN ON FACEBOOK AND READ EVERY POST, and my mom said, word for word, "the love of your life is white trash". She also said she wanted to "snatch that ***** up by her hair for being interested in me", and tried to tell me that Katie had been involved in an affair of 3 years with a married man who had 2 kids. NONE OF THIS IS TRUE, she is not "trashy", she had NO affair (she thinks that type of thing is wrong considering what her ex did to her), and my parents are being so horrible to me about her! They told me for a final time that I am to have nothing to do with her anymore.
I have told Katie all of this and she is upset by it, she doesn't understand how my parents can be so judgemental and cruel to me about this, considering at this point we are just very close friends (though we want something more). It is also worth mentioning that I turn 18 in October, and my parent said even then I will be forbidden from anything to do with this girl outside of work.
I am starting to love Katie. She makes me feel the happiest I have ever felt. She is sweet and caring and funny and the best person I have the privilege to know. I want nothing more than to devote myself to her, the thought of losing her absolutely terrifies me, and neither her nor I know what to do now. My parents have no problem ruining my life over this, and they'd go so far as ruining Katie's to do it. I am starting to hate them for the way they're being to me, judging this girl I've come to care about so much when they have never even met her.
I don't know what to do, I am so scared I'll lose Katie, but I'm scared of what my parents might do if I keep talking to her... I've never let myself get so attached to someone before, not even the girl I dated for a year (who I could never bring myself to tell "I love you"). When I'm with Katie I feel RIGHT, I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. I would be absolutely devastated and probably scarred for life if I lost her because of my asshole parents... what do I do? How do I live with this scenario I'm in?

Thank you for your time, sorry for the long read.
- Brandon

I think 17 year olds should be and act 17. It's a shame that you have received pressure to pretend to be grown up when you are not grown up. Not physically and not emotionally. It's a developmental thing.

While I don't think your mom should call anyone "white trash"; she has your interests at heart.

A 23 or 24 year old woman is too old for you. Before you get all upset at what I have just written, please consider this. If this deep passion you feel for "Katie" is enduring; it will last until you turn 18, when you legally become an adult (even though physically and emotionally you still won't be an adult. It's a developmental thing).

So I recommend you chill. Nothing wrong with exchanging a few pleasantries in public on the job--although "flirting" on the job is just wrong. But keep away from Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, or any of the other social media with "Katie" until you're an adult. I doubt you'll like what I have written. But I think for everyone concerned it is for the best. Concentrate on your students, on work, on platonic friendships, and save the sturm und drang romance until after you turn 18.

I appreciate your honesty, actually. I agree with several things you said - I definitely wish I could connect better to people my age, it's caused me more problems than I care to relate over the course of the last couple years. Also I have no social media (simply because my mother demanded that when I DID have a Twitter and Instagram that she have all the passwords and monitor what I post, not worth her overbearing BS to me).

The issue is that even after I turn 18, I cannot have any form of relationship with Katie. My parents expressly forbid it because in their mind I am still living under their roof and in school, therefore subject to their strict rules about who I can and cannot hang out with (I am almost 18 and can't even go to a friends house without their parents being home. My mom calls.) They actually told me if they found out I was with Katie after I turn 18, they'll kick me out and I can "go live with her". Sadly I have to live with them until I'm almost 19 before I can transfer my A.S. to the 4-year university I want to attend because of some academic year gap requirement. I'm afraid of being disowned if I ever try to have a relationship with Katie, but I care so much about her and I feel torn between not wanting an estranged relationship with my parents, and having the relationship I desperately want with Katie.

I have a feeling I'm going to make no one happy with this response but what they heck...

My advice is to end it. It's not that I don't think she's good for you - I haven't formed an opinion on that. It's not that I think she's too old for you - she might be, but who am I to judge, the leap over the magic age of eighteen was actually worse when I met my wife and we've been happily married thirty years. And lastly, it's not because your I believe your parents are being reasonable about this because I don't think they are.

So why on earth am I suggesting you end it, you ask? Good question and I'll be frank with you - I don't want to tell you, but I will. But first you'll have to sit through this explanation of why I don't want to tell you (or skip below when I'm not looking).

I think you should end it because there's only one reason to throw away your whole life for a person - and that's because they are more important to you than everything in your life put together. You may think you're already there, but I disagree. Here's why:

My dad talked once for two hours straight. Once. In fact, he's never talked for more than fifteen minutes straight in his whole life. The two hour talk was telling me that there was no way, no how I was going to marry this girl. I listened to him because he had been, up until the time I met her, the only good and constant thing in my life. He was and remains a great father. At the end of his talk I calmly asked him if he was finished. He told me that he was. It was my turn and I talked for ten seconds. This is what I said, "Dad, I love you. I heard you out because I respect you. But if you make me make a choice, you're not going to like my choice. Accept her out of your love for me, or good-bye."

Nothing mattered but the girl. Not school, which I gave up by the way, not family, not a home to live in - nothing. You explained in good detail, what you are feeling and how much she means to you but at no time did you mention that you were ready to lose everything to gain everything. That tells me that this relationship isn't the one. Because when you find the right one - nothing else matters. Nothing is a sacrifice. Nothing is off the table.

Now you could go ahead and decide to go my route but I'm going to hope you don't. Because if she was the one, you wouldn't need advice - you would have already known what to do.

I'm inspired by your story, the devotion you obviously have for your SO is amazing. Just amazing.

I feel like I'm going to sound ridiculous in what I'm going to say but I can't really describe it another way. I have no doubt in MY mind that this girl is the one I was meant to find - she is so much like me, she makes me feel wanted and loved and happy and all those other emotions that are too many to list out if I had a million pages of paper. Just thinking of her can improve my mood instantly. I dream about her. I think of her all day long - she's the most amazing person I've ever had the privilege to meet. I'm comfortable saying I'm starting to love this girl. It's not a simple "crush" or infatuation.

With that being said, I love my parents. They've been good to me and I know they want the best for me, but I am having a hard time not hating them for what they're doing. I'm struggling with the idea that if they truly wanted the best for me, they'd be happy I found someone who makes me feel this good, and they'd let me pursue this girl and if it ended for whatever reason, it would be on me and I'd learn from it and take away a good life experience. THAT is what I think my parents should see this as, but instead they call her "white trash" and "pedophile". It is simply not fair to me, but I am at a point in my life where whether I like it or not I NEED my parents to survive in the world, even though I am nearly 18. That's why I am so torn about this entire scenario. I can't afford to lose that support, like my older sister did. And I don't WANT to lose my connection to my parents, I do love them. But I also love Katie and it's tearing me apart inside because I don't know what to do.

The thought of losing Katie terrifies me. I feel like if I lose her I will never be able to open up to someone again like I have with her, or that I'd never WANT to because my heart would always lie with her. I realize that's probably coming across as extreme but for me that is a legitimate fear. I don't trust easy.

I hope that kind of made sense, I could sit here and type a book about how I feel and why I think Katie is the person I'm meant to be with, and I still wouldn't feel like I'd explained myself well enough.

I don't know what an academic year gap is.

Set up housekeeping with the love of your life and both of you work like dogs to keep it together and get through school. I've known plenty of people who've done this and it is when you're young you have the energy to do it.

Or abide by mom and dad's rules and have them pay for your education.

I'd be inclined to abide by their rules, until I figured out how to fund myself and then I'd go do what I wanted.

The academic gap is that I have to have one full "school year" in between transferring my associates degree (which I will graduate high school with) to the university I want to finish my B.S. degree at, in Criminal Justice. It's mainly because I'm almost "too far ahead" in my education - the university won't allow a 18 year old to come in as a junior, so I have to wait. And at any rate I'm paying for my own education, my parents refused to cosign loans for me. My dual enrollment now is free and I'm going to pay the $50k for my 2 years at the university I want to attend by working and via scholarships. I have 2 very well-paying jobs (making $10 and $18 per hour respectively) as of now that I work, and get paid so highly because of my current education background. But that's beside the point lol.

I have proposed this to Katie and she is willing to wait until I'm (technically) done with high school, which would be May 2017. I am a bit more frustrated with having to wait that long, and for that entire length of time I would need to keep our relationship secret from my entire family. I probably should have mentioned before that her dad (who I work with now) doesn't have any issues with Katie and I being a thing, nor does her mother from what she's told me. It's entirely my end that poses a problem.

Anyone else... I'm no closer to figuring out this situation I'm in ��