How to stop myself from texting all the time?

I met a guy on internet months ago, we were texting to each other everyday, met for few times, living in another cities and we are attracted to each other.
But he said at the beginning that its only friendship and free relationship (including sexual) and we will never be together. I enjoyed it but fell in love with him
I know we cant have serious relationships or if we had it would be really difficult, i doubt I even want it.
Im really jealous because I know he is not mine, he knows I have a crush on him and avoids from me because he thinks I want him to be my boyfriend but I never asked it, we misunderstand each other very often and he is not from my country so we dont speak in our languages which makes everything more difficult.
It seems I text him too often and making him feel like he is my boyfriend but I miss him. He doesnt want to meet me because he thinks that our relationships make me suffer. Yes, its true but I denied it saying Im having hard time and its not because of him.
I think he is afraid of me. I think he is exhausted of me. Im trying not to text him but if its for two days Im going insane, I cant do anything and cant sleep at all.
Im okay that he is not my boyfriend but Im dying how I want to see him and touch him again.
He says he is feeling depressed this time and dont want to talk to anyone. I can see he is not okay but he doesnt want to talk about it.
Im afraid to lose him, I know that my behavior ruins our relationship but Im losing my mind. At first it was only attraction but now I cant stop thinking about him and missing him.
I dont want to act like Im obsessed but I cant stop texting him. I want to go to his house but I wont because he doesnt want to see me now.
We are still friends but he is afraid that he is doing harm to me because I fell in love with him. He is very open and honest person and always tells me what he thinks.
Im okay with free relationship with him but it seems that my feelings disturb him

Switch off your phone and leave it in a drawer for a few days.


That's the method I personally used to stop my bad habit of textual harassment.


Yes its hard and it sucks, and you feel like you might go nuts, but by doing it repeatedly and distracting yourself in the process, your brain breaks down that particular compulsion mechanism.


Which means eventually you don't need to hide your phone from your fingers.

Thanks.
I cant switch off my phone because I need it for another reasons. Maybe on days Im not working. Maybe write down his number somewhere and delete it and switch off internet from my phone.
But I doubt it would help me
Im also checking too often when he was online and all the time- did he read my message.

Delete his number and give it to a friend to hold onto for at least a week.


Then rinse and repeat the process, only texting when its necessary and appropriate.

Do something very distracting. For example I shared it before on here that I spent the entire day on the PC chat and the whole day of distraction did me good. I wasn't on the phone but with my tablet. Also spend time on online forums or chats just talk to random people. Also to get texting out of the system text other people. Like old friend or a sister. Tell them you need a distraction. The other thing is to get extremely busy so you don't have time to obsess. My t says idle time is not good when you tend to obsess about this. When you get him out of your system then you can relax but for now be very busy.

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Can you have the texting feature of your phone turned off by the phone company? It generally can be done.

Or, go on a phone plan that will cost you if you go over a certain amount of texts? Hit your pocketbook. Unlimited access if part of the problem here. One of the problems with technology access these days.

We actually have chosen cheap cell phones with no internet and limited minutes per month rather than smartphones. We chose not to be constantly attached to our phones, and we wanted our sons to learn responsible use of phones and to NOT get addicted to them. (Oh, and our phone bill for 4 people is $30 total.) If we run through our minutes, we're just out of luck the rest of the month (Note: We have never run out of minutes as adults. Our sons learned pretty quickly how to budget their phone and texting time.)

I know. Sounds like sacrilege in today's world? It really is no great loss. I have access to internet from my computer at work and home. I don't need to connected 24/7.

Maybe you need to limit your internet and texting access somehow. May seem drastic, but you'll quickly learn to manage with more limited access and find it doesn't create problems. Then, maybe down the road when you've retrained your phone habits you can go back to more access. AND, added bonus: you might just figure out how to be a better friend without spamming people and pushing them away because of it.

Although in general I do agree with lolagrace i do have to say that I don't think the issue is texting per se. The issue in my opinion is repeatedly obsessing about unavailable uninterested men. Before texting and smart phones people were still doing obsessive things like driving by people's houses etc



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If the issue was just texting then people wouldn't have any obsessions over unavailable partners and harassing snd pushing others away etc before texting there were other things. It isn't smart phone issue. One can obsessively email etc etc

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The first issue was consenting to "only friendship, free sexual relationship". Why would you agree to that? What does that even mean? Is he married? Why is he not treating you like you aren't good enough for real romantic relationship? It's not only friendship if you are having sex. Free sexual relationship, friends with benefits... I think that is so insulting. Just say no!