[lovemeformexo]

I have a problem I'm still in love with my daughter's father. I don't know what's wrong with me it's been three years since we have separated. When we were together it was hell he would make fun of me cuss at me de grade me just a horrible person. Three years ago I cheated on him he was really hurt. It wasn't long and he found someone else. They have been together for three years now off and on. She has moved out twice but they keep getting back together. He has no idea about all the mental issues I've had to deal with. I've gained 50 pounds on these medicines. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want me anymore. He has a lot of pride. Am I crazy for wanting him back?

[psyched2016]

I was in a really similar situation with my ex and we did get back together many times and many times we split. He treated me very poorly and over the years my confidence and self esteem were wrecked.

I suffered depression and didn't think I would get over him and would live through this torture of being with him but one day he just pushed me too far and I ended things for good. I never looked back and I have regretted many times over that I didn't do it sooner.

I would honestly do you best to get out there and come into contact with other people. You may find a much nicer guy than him who will treat you like a princess.

[Trippin2.0]

Simply put, yes you are crazy for wanting a man back who treats you like shyt, but i was the same kind of crazy at one stage, so I am not judging, and I'm here to assure you, that you can overcome it.


I have a much better bf now, like 200% better than my ex. Because he's better for me and my daughter.


People don't give distraction enough credit, keeping busy can keep us from repeating stupid mistakes.

[healingme4me]

Loneliness can give the illusion that the past was better than its actuality.

You had expressed an awful time with involvement with him. His relationship after you is a roller coaster of instability. Sounds like a pattern of relationship behavior?

Do you believe that you're the only one with a MI in this situation?

Perhaps you're too busy now with your daughter to be out in the dating field, hence resorting to feeling not even worthy of your exes interest?? having medication weight sounds like self depreciating talk.

I agree about distractions. Find a hobby or volunteer opportunity to get yourself involved and out there. New friends, perhaps? How's your work relationships?

[Frankbtl]

Hi lovemeformexo,

"I'm pretty sure he doesn't want me anymore. He has a lot of pride."??!!!
FACT: With his behavior (!!) he doesn't DESERVE you!!!!

But...........I can understand that it might feel really hard for you, for lots of reasons
Maybe the way he treated you, led you to feel real deep inside that it was your fault or that you weren't worthy, and that's lingering somewhere in you..........but it was never your fault, abuse is the abusers fault, no-one else's............
Maybe you're wanting the "what could have been" without the abuse...........but
"what could have been" wasn't the reality, the reality is he was abusive............
Maybe you feel guilt for cheating on him/sorry for him/blame yourself for the ending.........but while cheating isn't "good"..........a bit of balance (??!!)..........compare it with the way he treated you over all that time...........the way he made you feel to lead you to that............
Maybe you're wanting the "comfort" of someone, and he's "familiar", starting over with someone else or falling in love again might feel impossible or scary..............but for now you're FAR better on your own than with someone like him............
And maybe, just maybe, because of your love for your daughter, there may for a long time be a bit of an emotional attachment............but that can be separated from "love", from actually wanting him if you can resolve those feelings...........

But now it's time to focus on yourself and what's best for you..........you deserve that, you've been through enough!!
So........now focus on people who may make you feel good, feel valued, feel worthy, feel like you really matter........you never deserved the pain he brought you and you don't deserve it now...........
Time to start living the life you deserve, doing what makes you feel good with people who make you feel "better"
Might take some time, might be real hard, might need to be done in steps.............but it is possible

Alison

[lovemeformexo]

Thank you guys, I do have guilt about cheating on him. But I have to look at the facts and the facts are is that he isn't a good person and he hasn't changed obviously because he is having relationship problems. I am lonely I haven't been in a relationship for a year and a half. I would love to have a family but I'm so insecure because of my weight. I've been turned down a lot. Plus it's hard to explain to someone why you take medicine for voices in your head without seeming crazy.

[Frankbtl]

Hi lovemeformexo,

I am sorry you've been rejected, and I can imagine that's only added to your insecurities
But you know, anyone who's going to just judge you on your appearance (whether that would be you were thinner, larger, short haired, long haired.......whatever!!) isn't worth being in a relationship with anyway..........you're exactly right.........you should be valued, loved for you.........so maybe see those as lucky escapes
You want/need/deserve someone who sees/loves you for you!!
But naturally there will be guys who will really like your appearance anyway, as well as you!!!
As for the medicine to help with the voices...........that might not be as hard as you think to explain to some people..........there's a lot more knowledge about issues like that out there now-a-days............and for a lot of people the word "crazy" is never going to come into the/any equation.........
And even if you didn't have the voices........would you really want to be with someone who insisted on seeing people with mental health issues as "crazy"??!!!!
Not really relationship material in my eyes!!!
For general telling people/explaining though...........I'm sure you'll find lots of ideas/tips on here

Alison

[divine1966]

My t says idle time is no good especially if you tend to obsess over people. Get yourself busy and when time is right you'll meet a much better man

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