How Can I Calm Down?!!

I've met this guy, and we both like each other, and i wanna give it a shot. But i totally freak out in relationships. I freak out meeting anyone at all. It's just 100 times worse when i start going out with someone. I tense up. My mouth and throat dry up to the point where i can hardly even talk. I get so nervous i feel sick and my whole body shakes to the point where i can hardly stand up or walk or anything. And if it gets bad enough i get really hot, start to sweat and can hardly breathe. i basically have a panic attack. i told him all that and eh says he understands. I hope that'll be that and it will gradually get easier for me. But what he doesn't know is that the main cause of it is the voices in my head telling me i can't do it and i'm just acting like an idiot and so on. And i can't see the voices ever going away so i don't know how to calm the anxiety. help. i don't wanna *mess* it up again

(((((((((((((((((((((BeyondRedemption))))))))))))))))))))))

So sorry you are stressing out about this new fella. Dating can be very stressful especially until you get to know them better and vice versa.

Would it help if you two got together with friends first a few times so that you wouldn't be one on one and feeling more pressure? Maybe a bunch of you could go to the movies, bowling, ice skating, roller blading, play some pool, swimming...whatever you guys do to have fun

I wish you well hon....and I hope you feel more comfortable with it all soon!

Hugssss
J

ye we would be with freinds. coz he come through with his mate who goes out with my mate. kinda confusing, in a way, but yeah. and there would proably be another 2 of us aswell.
i think i just think about it too much instead of just going with the flow. but i can't help it
and the fact that he lives a 3 hour train ride away might actually help coz i wont see him all the time so i wont be freaking out all the time. maybe the just talking without actually being with him would help. but i'm not sure. what do you think?

I think being with others and just talking is a great way to get to know one another without the pressure of having to "perform" or be at your absolute best

When I get really anxious about something, I try to figure out what would be the absolute worst thing that could happen, then make a plan to be able to deal with it. 99.999999% of the worst thing doesn't ever happen, but hey at least you are prepared After thinking about the worst thing that can happen, then I turn it to the best thing that could happen and it puts a smile on my face and I'm feeling better about the situation!

Oh, and don't forget to breathe!! It's very important!

Hugsssss
J

i guess the worst thing that could happen is that he'll get sick of it or something. but i've had to deal with that before so it doesn't really bother me too much. i don't really know what i worry so much about. i guess i just want it to work for once so worry that i'm doing everything wrong and will scare him away. i dunno :S

Sweetie, remember this.....just be your beautiful self and you will be fine! He already likes what he sees right???

Hang in there!

Hugssss
J