[galeckifan]

I was sitting with my small group and the girl from my church who hid her Facebook post about moving from me showed some people her phone and was talking about a Facebook post she saw. When I asked about it, she just said I was just sharing something I saw on Facebook with them. When I asked what it was she wouldn't say and said it doesnt matter its not a big deal. I said I was just trying to be part of the conversation and she said it just didn't pertain to you and wouldn't make sense to you, and I have a different relationship with them. What is that supposed to mean? Why would she share it with them and not show me??
And also, I talked to her and apologized if I came off as being needy or making her feel scared to be herself around me for fear of hurting my feelings or offending me and making it hard to love me and said I felt like she didnt like me anymore and she said you are loved God is good, but wouldnt say whether she loved me because I was lovable and she loved me herself or if she was just trying to love me because God says to love me. When I tried to get her to say what she thinks of me and if she loved me like she did her other friends she kept turning it around to God loves you, yes I know but do you love me and do you want to be my friend. I feel like she doesnt even though she said she did because she said God is helping me love you and you have done nothing to make me love you, it is because I love God and am called by God to love you. So it feels like she is skirting around the issue and not actually saying she doesnt want to be friends with me or doesnt love me because it shouldnt matter because God does. Well I want to know what she thinks of me and whether she honestly loves me because she wants to and thinks Im likable and not out of some obligation from God.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

You wanted this girl to say she loved you? That's a bit much. Between all your other many posts about rides, church, fb, you seem to have many problems with this group of people. You seem a bit needy and overbearing. You can't force yourself into a convo and you can't take offense just because others are talking amongst themselves. It simply didn't apply to you and I wouldn't pry into it anymore.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Nammu]

You can not change other people or force them to say they love you. Have you given any thought to getting a job, volunteering or finding a hobby outside of this church? It's quite clear that they tolerate you but do not wish for friendship. Trying to insist on seeing what they are sharing only pushes them further away. You need to let go.

[divine1966]

Honestly this girl has more patience than most people I know including myself.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[~Christina]

The more you push to make her/them be your friends the further they are going to avoid you on every and all levels. You have probably burned the bridge with this particular friend and the others and there is nothing you can do....so just stop, just stop.

All the insisting you did wanting this person to say " I Love you" would have totally creeped me out. You cant make someone say I love you or much of anything else if they don't want to.

Maybe finding a church that is closer to you and you won't need rides and you can start over talking to people and learn how to make actual friendships by not expecting anyone to do you any favors would be helpful.

Did you ever have that talk with the Pastor? Maybe he can help you understand that often you just need to stop pushing yourself onto people.

Do you have a Therapist that you seen on a regular basis ?

It sounds like she was very nice to you but she doesn't consider you a friend. That is her right and she was extremely nice about. Trying to insert yourself in others' conversations and asking about their FB images on their phone is crossing their personal boundaries.

[TishaBuv]

It sounds like your friends from church only tolerate you. They are true to their beliefs in religion, so they act kind to you. But they don't really like you. They are saying you are hard to like, and to me it sounds like you are. You are needy, clingy, demanding, and confrontational. That behavior really puts people off.

So, what behavior does win friends? People like pleasant, friendly, fun, thoughtful people. Maybe try doing some nice things to show your church friends how much they mean to you. Like bringing in cookies or something sometime. Just don't push, be kind and patient, and they may start to truly like and love you.

[PlannedObsolescence]

What did I say about you and FB?? Do yourself a favor and just take a break from it. Even just a week.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Crazy Hitch]

I think you need to broaden your friendship group and stop trying to squeeze into this one.

There's no need to continually try wedge yourself into a place where they've made it clear, for some time, that that is their personal space.

You're putting people into uncomfortable situations

Please. Look within. Are your actions and behaviors what you would want or find appropriate?

She is not a friend, nor does she have an obligation to be such. She has every right to privacy or to include those she chooses to in her communications.

Similarly you do not have a right to even ask her.

[A Red Panda]

What advice did your pastor give you? Honestly stop ignoring everyone on here. If you just want to vent then start a blog?

There is no point in is telling you anything new because we have said the same thing every thread - she doesn't want to be your friend and you are not being respectful of that. You keep putting her in situations where she either has to be vague, lie, etc. She clearly isnt comfortable being upfront with you and is trying to get it across to you subtly.

She went to your pastor for a reason. Because she wants to be kind to you but does not want to be friends. What did the pastor say?!

[divine1966]

She says pastor told her to arrange rides ahead of time

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[scorpiosis37]

We gave you a lot of really good advice on your last thread, but you didn't bother to go back and read it or respond to us. The problem you are having with this woman at church is the same problem you are starting to have on this forum. You ask for something (help, rides) people give it to you, you take it, don't acknowledge or say thank-you, people start to feel put out, and then they no longer want to go out of their way to be helpful to you.

This woman is making it extremely clear she does NOT want to be your friend. She isn't saying it in those words because she is trying to be polite and trying to tolerate you because her religion tells her that she should. Most people would not be as nice as she is being to you. What you need to do is give her some space. You can't demand that someone love you or be friends with you. Pushing yourself on them harder is only going to push them away more. You either need to accept that these women are not your friends, or you need to find a new church and start over. No one "owes" you their friendship, driving you around, or inviting you to things. You have to show them what you have to offer THEM. What are you good at? What are your positive qualities? Try to think about what you can do for others.

[galeckifan]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

It sounds like your friends from church only tolerate you. They are true to their beliefs in religion, so they act kind to you. But they don't really like you. They are saying you are hard to like, and to me it sounds like you are. You are needy, clingy, demanding, and confrontational. That behavior really puts people off.

So, what behavior does win friends? People like pleasant, friendly, fun, thoughtful people. Maybe try doing some nice things to show your church friends how much they mean to you. Like bringing in cookies or something sometime. Just don't push, be kind and patient, and they may start to truly like and love you.

I wouldnt be those things if they included me and liked me in the first place

You are COMPLETELY missing the poin

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by galeckifan

I wouldnt be those things if they included me and liked me in the first place

that's kind of circular thinking. Blaming them for the way that you are instead of the idea that maybe it's the behavior that's pushing them away. I know it's been said. but people will like you or not like you as they choose, YOU canot make nor should you expect the ones you choose to like and include you. the solution?

BE LIKEABLE
BE SOMEONE THEY WANT TO HANG OUT WITH

Then they will like you, then they will include you. it doesn't work any other way.

[~Christina]

Galeckifan.. You can not force anyone to like you .. EVER.

Do you have any learning disabilities?

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Galeckifan.. You can not force anyone to like you .. EVER.

Do you have any learning disabilities?

I'm wondering the same. Or at least some social issue? You don't seem to be able to get a hint when someone doesn't want you around. I think at church you should just stick to minding your own business and focus on mass, not social circles. Let them come to you rather than you begging for attention.

How's the situation with the rides going? Did you figure that out yet? (Realizing I probably won't get an answer here)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[rdgrad15]

I've been seeing a lot of the same posts. I hate to be harsh, but this is the truth. I agree with every single post that came before mine. You seem way too clingy, demanding, and needy. You expect people to do things for you but not have to give back. That is a form of using. People will run away if they feel used or obligated, especially when it comes to giving rides to other people. Least you could do is provide gas money. Once you start showing a little more respect towards people, people will want to hang out with you. And please take people's advice, people are trying to help.

[galeckifan]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

that's kind of circular thinking. Blaming them for the way that you are instead of the idea that maybe it's the behavior that's pushing them away. I know it's been said. but people will like you or not like you as they choose, YOU canot make nor should you expect the ones you choose to like and include you. the solution?
If they did the disliking first, how can it be because of my clingyness? Why didn't they like me in the first place?
BE LIKEABLE
BE SOMEONE THEY WANT TO HANG OUT WITH

Then they will like you, then they will include you. it doesn't work any other way.

thry rejected and disliked me first, before I showed any of those behaviors

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by galeckifan

thry rejected and disliked me first, before I showed any of those behaviors

I believe they never saw you as a friend. They were being kind in giving you rides and talking to you. Your created a fantasy in which they were friends with you and you did not see the social clues that they were trying to give you politely. Now you are angery and trying to force them to fit your fantasy. You need to stop and leave them alone.

And stop following them on fb and Twitter

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

I'm wondering the same. Or at least some social issue? You don't seem to be able to get a hint when someone doesn't want you around. I think at church you should just stick to minding your own business and focus on mass, not social circles. Let them come to you rather than you begging for attention.

How's the situation with the rides going? Did you figure that out yet? (Realizing I probably won't get an answer here)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Same for me. I will admit I have social problems as well, but not to thatextent. For the most part I can tell when people do no want me around and I respect that descision. She needs to do the same. No offennse to her but she probably makes people feel not just smothered, but used too.

[Yoda]

Curious?

Do you borderline personality disorder?