Quit Playing Games with Me

How could people talk all day and/or night? Honestly it doesn't even make sense. When I dated my husband we talked every day but not ALL day or night. We work! Years ago I dated long distance. Yes we talked daily but not for hours! Don't these people work? This is so bizarre , i havent heard anything like this ever!

I am a high school teacher and my husband is RN. We can't possibly text all day! What kind of jobs allow people to text all day??)

Haha trust me, the graveyard shift guy, works graveyard and he's the boss so he can get away with texting by sneaking it I guess. Another guy I was talking too worked at Target and was texting me while he was working and helping customers so. IT CAN BE DONE.

So you expect these guys to do whatever it takes to communicate with you, even while they are at work trying to bring home the bacon?! Even if they could get in trouble for texting you while they are working? Just because some guys you have dated have been able to chat all day long, does not mean all of them will be able to. Someone texts me during the day at work and they're lucky to get a response from me before 7pm the next day. You can't imagine that he has other things in his life that are important to him.

If you can't handle that you aren't his first and foremost priority (after only knowing each other such a short time, which is odd) then you need to move on to find another guy who will. Although I warn you that you're not likely to find any guy who will want to have this much obsessive contact with you.

Also, you keep telling us to stop telling you why we think he isn't responding. If you don't want us to tell you what we think is happening, THEN DON'T ASK. Stop the drama.

Good luck.

Seesaw

Even though it can be done, and you've mentioned someone else you dated would text you more frequently, most people do not want to be contacted that much....especially working people.

It can be very distracting when someone texts that amount when you're trying to work. Plus, the other person can feel smothered or have that feeling that you don't have interests outside of them since you're spending all your time and energy contacting them.
No offense, but it sounds like you are overly dependent on constant contact, otherwise, you feel like you do not measure up or have doubts in someone's interest when really you are pushing them away further. There are ways you can work on not being dependent on others for your own happiness. If you can't go to therapy, then you may want to consider self-help through books, videos,etc.

I don't need self help books, videos, therapists or anything like that ok. I do not need help period. I want someone I can date, go out with have fun with, I am tired of staying at home all the time and being bored out of my mind. I want to go out, go to concerts, have fun. I am almost 30, my life will fly away before I know it. I don't want to waste my years not doing anything.

What stood out to me and a red flag is the fact that you've documented every day and every correspondence of any sort. It's a bit OCD and you have no compassion. People need sleep. As someone pointed out to you, you're on a forum for MI and sleep can be a major issue for some of us. No sleep can mean hospitalization for some of us. My fiancé works graveyard and I would never bother him like this. I respect the fact that he's working hard for his kids and I and not some kid slacking on the job.

Then why on earth are you posting asking for help on a mental health forum??

You want to go out? Then get a job, you'll go out at least 5 times a week. Lord, you're the person who starts all these threads and when people take time out of their lives to try to help you slap them in the face.

If you do not need any help, then I'd recommend not starting multiple threads in a mental health forum asking for help and advice.

You want to go out? Then go out. You want to not waste your life? Then do something that isn't wasting your life.

I text someone a lot, before I was medicated for bipolar. (Because bipolars can talk non-stop.) I didn't mean to bother him. He did construction work so I figured he was solitary a lot at work.

Other friends, I rarely text when they worked.

I worked in retail. Texting while helping customers would get one fired. Maybe these guys text all day because they have no other interests or hobbies or no friends and they don't respect their jobs but why would you want to date men like this?

Did he end up confirming plans for this weekend?

He was initially interested enough to want to get to know you. He has decided he doesn't want to pursue this. He has no intention of going out with you this weekend.

People here have been really, really clear on why that would be. In another thread, you said you have no friends, no life, and you're going to yell at people until you get the answers you want.

But the answer you seem to want is that what you're doing is quite normal and if you just change up your bangs or glasses everything will be fine, and that this guy IS going to go out with you this weekend if you just text him often enough.

This answer would be a lie, and a year, three years, ten years down the road, you'll still be here asking the same questions.

So if you just want the answer you want, here it is:

Trim your bangs an sixteenth of an inch and wear the black leather jacket someone else suggested and text him another 20 times. Assume his lack of an answer is because of some unknown cause but that he's really interested in you. In order to help him out, use a search engine to track down his home and show up on his doorstep Friday night. Then everything will be fine.

But what all of us want, deep down, is to find happiness. If you want the answer to that, here it is.

Get counseling or if you can't afford that, go to a support group.
Start driving--short trips to a local fast food or grocery store, anything.
Get a job. Consider starting with a temp agency, short term jobs.
Try some daily affirmations.
Get out from under your parents' thumbs if they're really keeping you so infantilized.
GET a life. I DO NOT mean this in a cruel way, but in all seriousness--create a life that you are happy with: Take your music interest and start a blog with those thousand interviews you said you've done. Monetize the blog. Start promoting your blog. If you want to do this, send me a PM. I will GLADLY show you how to promote your work and start an income. I have experience in this area and will gladly help you.
Take a class or go to the gym or start any new hobby--you will be happier in and of yourself and you will then have more to offer these men. You will also be too busy to be texting and calling them all day, and that WILL make you more appealing to them.

Here are a couple of HUGE ones:

Start a gratitude list. Ten things every day.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: HELP SOMEONE ELSE:
Go online and see if you can offer words of hope or encouragement to someone who is struggling.
Walk an elderly neighbor's dog or water her garden
Take food to a food shelf
Volunteer at a local animal shelter or church or food shelf
Be friendly and give a genuine smile and well-wishes to a cashier or anyone you meet.
Organize a meal service for someone who's just had a baby or is sick
Clean a house for someone whose child is in the hospital.
You love music--do you play music? Can you teach music to a disadvantaged child?

AND PLEASE:

Realize that 'I'm only mean to all of you here because you don't say what I want to hear, I'm nice to MEN, HA!' is a character trait that WILL shine through to these men you meet. People who are kind...are kind. People who are mean to some people whenever they get angry...will eventually be mean to anyone who doesn't do and say what they want. These men are no doubt seeing that, and hearing it in these hours of conversations.

Character traits are about how we treat all people, all the time, over time; not some people, sometimes, when we're happy with them.

Fine. I will work on myself PERIOD.

And as for ALL these guys I am talking too RIGHT NOW, screw them. I will find someone way better and be more careful and treat them great and not get my hopes up and expect to talk to them all the time then OK!

Sounds like a plan.

Great choice! Good luck!

Even though that's what i have been saying i have been doing this whole time.

You're kidding, right?

Well every time one of you guys, tells me go get a job, go do this and go do that. I gota reply with I am applying to jobs and working on getting a job and yet YOU ALL keep telling me to go and get a job! Its like for the million time I already know this!!!!!!!

I already know to get a job, I am working on it. I will find a job and get a job so stop telling me to get a job.

Ditto. That was my first thought too.

I still highly recommend therapy but not only for vocational type of counseling but also for anger management. You come across very angry

Will YOU STOP telling me go to go damn therapy. Just shut up!

Are you not getting why all your threads are being shut down?