[Smilie]

What are you afraid to gain or loose in a relationship?
Smilie

[snowflake_48888]

I am afraid to loose my identity in a relationship.
Snow

[Wants2Fly]

Abandonment that comes from out of the blue with no reason that makes sense to me.

[Sabrina]

The biggest thing that I am afraid to lose in my relationship is my husband!

[jmo531]

I am afraid to be left because it happens everytime.

[jmo531]

However, I blame myself for that because it is usually due to my deficiencies that eventually leads to the ultimate demise of any and all relationships.

[MyBestKids2]

Post deleted by mybestkids2

[eskielover]

I am afraid to loose myself...I am afraid that the other persons actions will have a permanent effect on my own future......& I don't want to lower my standards or change my own values that I believe in to adapt them into my life. I don't like being told that when I am taking care of my own needs & desires in life that I am being controlling.

I don't like myself in a relationship when I have someone there & want to be able to depend on them so I don't have to do it all.....then I get bad information to base my decisions on because I trusted them.

Gee, sounds like the reasons I am going to end up owning my farm alone in Kentucky after 32 years of marriage.

Debbie

[MyBestKids2]

being really really loved

[tranquility]

I'm afraid of loving and then losing.....

[selfy]

im afraid of being held back from reaching my true potential by spending too much time trying to please my bf. i do ppl please.... *sigh* oh well. like when i dont do something to please bf, but i wanna do it....
i dont want to lose HIM... basically
take care all
selfy
PS if u didnt guess im back from hols woooo!!!!

All of the above but most of all being abandoned and rejected.

jinny xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Losing my identity..
I am afraid of being too closely associated with the other member(s) of the relationship so I am not an indiviual anymore.

[Rhapsody]

I am afraid that my spouse will cheat on me one day - and why not every one else from my past has (but I have not).

Id have to say being left suddenly.

It seems that many of us fear losing something if we enter a relationship and we let our fears keep us back. I understand completely after so much hurt, or deceit, or control by others. Even out of love, the males in my life (father, brother, sons, etc.) try to show their love for a woman by being dictatorial, without even realizing it. I got so fed up with being condescended and parented by partners. I now fear that the only way to find a man is to allow him to feel like he controls teh reigns and his decisions help everybody. It almost seems like I am parenting again when I date. I can't tolerate that anymore.

[MyBestKids2]

I guess the "in" part scares me

[dorsey555]

I'm afraid that I won't know what to do because I've never had a real healthy relationship.
I'm afraid that it's too late for me to learn, or that i won't have enough energy to sustain what I've learned.
I'm afraid of not trying to love..
I'm afraid that my fear of love will get the best of me.
dorsey

[UCLAFan]

I'm single. Been that way for years now.My fear is if i get in a relationship.That my safety will be at stake.I was in a abusive relationship 11 years ago.

[terrieL]

Every fear I had of a relationship, I just had in my recent marriage which is why I am divorcing and those things are:

No respect, lack of trust, substance\alcohol abuse, being taken by a soul taker, emotional abuse, financial abuse, lied to, cheated on, he disapeared for days,question my own sanity, he loves me, he loves me not thoughts, all which lead to my deep insecurities. I lost myself.

Thanks

[meander]

Scared that my love won't be returned, then scared when it is...

[5150kat]

Being abused, being taken for granted, being disrespected, lied to, and taken advantage of. These are all the things that have happened to me in my 2 marriages, and my last long term relationship. Now I am with a great guy who I think I can trust, and I dont think he will do these things. But how will I ever know until if it happens?

[spal]

I can't tell you how much I am moved by some of these responses.

All of the above.

I also do not want to reproduce my parents' marriage. I don't want to lose my sense of myself and my world. I am scared that I won't stand up for myself when I feel manipulation. I am scared that the things I find repulsive in my parents are in me and they will come out under stress and then the person I'm in a relationship will leave me.

[Direction]

not being accepted and abandonment are biggies...

unrelenting standards I put on my self are magnified in a relationship...

[radio_flyer]

I think what I fear most is abuse and control. Seems the men in my past "all start out" oo so very nice. And bang, they either try to control me or hit me or verbally demean me. I guess you could say, I have been "loved" way too much...

I did not date after the separation/divorce because I was focused on raising my son and I did not want my son seeing me with different men. Guess I wanted to set an example. Which is a hoot because it seems my son has the same values towards women as his father. shrugs shoulders

But then, maybe that all was just an excuse. Because in reality, I am afraid of men. I am only afraid of men when in a romantic relationship. I am not afraid of men when they are friends. In fact, some of my close friends are men. When a guy wants to get close, I panic.