Should I be concerned?

I dont know, look like it would be trouble, I would probebly look the other way

Yeah.. just feels like now I have to look over my shoulder because of her.

NO. You need to look over your shoulder because you are sending this vulnerable, likely troubled girl mixed messages. "I don't want a relationship but..." "I told her I enjoyed hanging out..." "She is stalking me"
The real question is: (ask yourself)

What are you getting out of this?

No, I told her I enjoyed hanging out with her and her friends last September. I asked her out, she gave me the weird answer and rejection. I said I still enjoyed hanging out with the group. Which, was true at the time. It didn't mean I wanted her to invite herself to things, seek out where I was, where I am going...etc.. Then, her be ultra private. If I tried to talk to her about it, she would shut the door on the communication... I stopped communication with her and ended game watches before, then she invites herself to dinner with my coworkers and I. The first couple of times it happens, it catches you off guard. You think it is weird, then you rationalize it... But, then it happens again, then again and it freaks you out. From the beginning of September through the end of October, I did not invite her to things. She initiated contact with me, so I invited her to things again. At that time, she seemed to show interest, so I tried to talk to her....nothing.. she shut down and wouldn't have it. So, I thought I would just be friends with her. Then, she started following me around...seeking my friends and coworkers....eating my food... acting more possessive of me.

I called her out on some of the behavior first week of January and questioned her what she was doing. Discussed how her actions were becoming inappropriate. She rationalized and pretended it was not weird behavior, even though it obviously was (i.e. texting my married coworker that she barely knows about watching a game, since she knows I usually watch Thursday night games with him at the bar.. his wife appreciated her texting him...) I have not talked to her since that discussion and pretty well told her the game watches are done... So, she emails me about work... Then texts me. She does this weird back and forth stuff. I will shut her out, but she will seek somebody I hang out with or an event she knows I will go to.

I do not think she is vulnerable in any sense. I think she is playing some sort of weird game and seeking out attention. I will not invite her to things and will not go to things with her. I cannot be friends with this one even. But, she will seek me out somehow. I know she will. She has done this before. I am going to ignore her this time though..

You are still playing the game....
Try reading what you have written as if you were an outsider.

How am I playing the game? To be honest, you are the first person that has said this... out of like 40 on multiple forums. Plus, everybody that has seen us interact has said I am being consistent, but she is not.

I asked her out, she said no. I said we can be friends. Initially, I invite her to things as a group. I treated her like a friend. I said I enjoyed hanging out with a group, which was true at the time. Saying I enjoyed the group outings doesn't imply anything, especially with my timing and the context (you said no, but I am fine with being friends because I like hanging with the group). I am not alone with her. She was getting back with an ex, so I am not going to be alone and invited her to bring other people.

She, however, treats me as possessive. She eats my food, tells me where to apply for a job and just naturally in my space (which I know one of her coworkers even commented on, when she was around me just 3 days after I asked her out, got a no and she was all into my personal space). I try to discuss this, she cuts me off. Has never said anything about the ex around me and the group. She finds an excuse to stay behind or around me. I try to initiate another dialogue, nothing, she doesn't say. She never disclosed anything about the ex, regarding if she is still with him or not. She has had opportunity and I have brought it up. Shut out... In my mind, she was somebody else's girls. I don't play that game. I am fine with her going with the group on an outing, but I am not asking her to be alone, until we talk and she says she is available.

I am a single male. She is a female. To my knowledge, she is still getting back with this guy. She won't disclose if she is still in that situation or not, yet creates opportunities to be alone with me. So, I stop inviting her, she still goes.

The beginning friendship started with me doing all of the work. Asking her to things...trying to form a friendship first. I had some important family health issues, so I was out of town quite a bit... The typical Friday, Saturday thing was not an option for me and I had mentioned what was going on. Early on, I was not in a place to date, I was taking care of multiple sick family members, getting my mom's house ready to sell since she was no longer able to take care of herself. She never initiated the contact at the beginning. It was always me who had to get friends together.

After I asked her out and she said no, she did the things that somebody that was interested in me would likely do...seek me out... talk about me to my friends... There were things that she did not like to do that she only went to to see me. For example, trivia nights. She went once and hated it. I start going and it comes up that I go, she starts going too... the guy that asked her out and got a no. I go the restaurants and bars that I like, that she did not, she starts going on the days I am there that she knows I go. I made the move. Asked her out... Then, this happens. She won't talk to me, so I have no idea how to communicate with her to know what is going on.

Plus, this last time I ignore her and she emails me at work. I make the decision not to invite her to things. She knows this, so she emails me about work. I can't ignore a work email, even it makes no sense for her to be writing me about the request she had.

There is a reason I am not the only person to say this.
You asked her out.
Then you say you don't want her around but you let her hang around.
This is give and take, your behavior is encouraging her behavior.
"I have no idea how to communicate with her" says "I want to communicate with her"
If that is so, you and she are both in this. If it is not so you are giving her mixed messages. Disconnect if you want to, it would be kinder for her.
Perhaps she doesn't want to go out with you or anyone. She might just want to feel she could be a friend without it being about sex/romance. Ask her if you want to know. Maybe she likes to hang out once in a while without pressure to play a particular role for you.
She already told you she has trust issues. Maybe, you should have left her alone when she failed to initiate contact in the beginning. (and how does she know what you are doing and where you will be?....she doesn't have ESP) Sorry if I sound harsh but I am not seeing that you have any real interest in resolving this.

You ARE the only one that has said this though. I am done with her. I won't contact her. I won't reply to her. I won't even be in the same room with her anymore. I have not invited her to anything in a month and a half.

I think you may be confused as to what I am saying. Yeah, I wanted (past tense) to be friends with her. Not anymore. Things change... It does not mean you are playing a game. At first, I thought she was just nervous and needed time. I now see a more malicious set of behavior from her. I did not know how to communicate with her, because she would not communicate. I was trying to, but she won't, so I am done...Which again, is why I do not invite her to things anymore. I don't want her around. I no longer want to hang out with her. I no longer find her enjoyable to be around. I no longer want to communicate with her.

She knows where I am and what I do, because when we were friends, that stuff comes up. She knows what bar I go to to watch games on Thursdays. She knows that I go to trivia on Tuesdays, because we talked about this when we were friends. I should not have to give up my routine, because of her. She does not like this stuff and did not have interest in it, so it is purely because of me. This is not a large city, so there are not really many other options for me. I have not invited her to anything for a month and a half, so she emails me about "work"...again, with my job I cannot just ignore that email. I ignore her and magically she wants to hang out with my friends. Not much I can do with that. I called her out at the beginning of January, told her she was sending conflicting messages and not treating me like a friend. But, she was going back and forth of whether she want to be friends or not. She says no, but then she started acting possessive of me and got into my personal space, and tried to get my attention. I tried to talk to her and see if I could salvage a friendship. She got weird, so, as a result, I don't want to even be friends with her. It is all just too odd. The coworkers and friends that have been with us have pointed this out. The way most people describe it is when a teenage girl likes somebody and gets defensive when somebody asks her about it. They had said, that when she was around, her attention was on me and acted sort of like a teenager when that teenager likes somebody. The only difference is that she is 27. She also knows where I will be at work, because this is public information. I can't hide this information. If I am part of an organization, she sees this information. So, that is how she is behaving. The only way this ends is by me ending it, which I am trying to.

I don't care about being kinder to her. I want to make sure I am safe and she is gone. That means, do not all of a sudden start wanting to hang out with my friends that she did not want to before. Almost all of my friends/coworkers do not like her...They never did and said she is not trustworthy, so I am good with them not inviting her to things. It also doesn't mean start trying to hang out with my (immature) coworker at lunch that she had stated in the past that she strongly disliked and would not hang out with under any circumstances (which apparently means until she is the last one left that will talk to her). That coworker of mine is the only one that talks to her and will be around her. This coworker also is the type to keep things going and stirred up. Which, is ironic, because this female has trashed her repeatedly and I defended her. But, now she is trying to get together with this coworker.. I can't stop that, because I have no control. But, it puts her back in my setting without me having a chance to block it. It may end up resulting in me losing a friend with this coworker too, if she keeps trying to invite her to stuff.

It just feels like an attention grab. That has been the case the whole time. I am done with it. I deserve better than a friendship like that. I don't want to give up my routine, because it was my routine. She had no interest in going to this stuff until we were friends and she went, for me. She has said this. I don't think she wanted her friends/coworkers there, because she did not want them to know how she acted around me.

Weird example. Back when I asked her out, she said she was getting back with an ex. A week later she texted my coworker, the same one she asked about my dating life. He is married. She said that coworker is creepy, so she texted him to watch a game? She knows if he was in town that weekend, he was watching the game with me. So, in what universe is it acceptable for her to text a married man that she is not even friends with? And, why text him if he is creepy? I don't want her around.

Not to say I don't have some faults.. But, in this case, she never gave me the opportunity to communicate and it just turned weird and now scary.

She never treated me properly or well. I am always the one that gets walked on in a relationship, so nothing necessarily new with this friendship. (Yes, I need to work on this) The beginning seemed like an unnecessary game of chase. I had 8 coworkers/friends that saw our interaction and all of them said she was giving me signs....until I asked her out. They, they said the same thing (she was giving signs) when we were supposed to be hanging out as friends. One coworker went further with it and said she was acting completely inappropriate toward me no matter what she labeled me. I just never got the chance to ask her because she would shy away.... until I confronted her..

I think it is a game still... Which is why I think she will keep it going. I really just want it to end. Trying to find new places to go out of town to get away that she does not know about. May end up not inviting my coworker that reaches out to her, just to make sure she doesn't invite her around the group.

I think from reading your initial post, the replies of others, your replies to them I think you did the wisest thing to keep your distanced from her. From you wrote of her I get weird vibes. She sounds like bad news for you. Seems like she's playing with you.

It sounds more like emotional immaturity. Could be behavioural.
Maybe she just doesn't know how to deal with someone being interested in her but not being interested or able to reciprocate.

She sounds terribly similar to a woman I worked with who suffered sever trauma in her teens and was unable to mature past that point.
To all intent and purposes she was a 30 year old woman. But she lived with her parents and wasn't able to make certain decisions for herself. That was particularly pertinent with her personal life as she just wasn't mentally mature enough to be involved with someone as she was unable to give consent to what she did or didn't want.

This, of course is an entirely different set of circumstances, but perhaps the next time a girl says "no" to a relationship at the start, you should just accept her first answer over any and all behaviour that comes afterwards. That way you set your boundaries and it keeps you safe.
No matter how interested or whatever, she gets.

Hopefully given consistent boundaries now, she will eventually understand.
All the best.

So you have totally dropped her & are avoiding her yet stillbtrying to figure her out here?

As for work emails, there is the FORWARD option. Yiu can ALWAYS just forward her inappropriate work email to the proper place & not respond to it al all.

I understand the need to understand crazy & unusual behavior. I was married to a guy for 33 years & ugh, it was crazy & after I left it was more crazy....I HATED him & saw red any time I was arround him by the time I was able to leave the marriage. Sorting through & trying to figure out what I had been living with took quite a few years.....but YOU NEVER really had arelationship with her. It might be best for you to just WRITE HER OFF as wierd & let go of continuing to talk about her & her crazy behavior that you will probably NEVER figure out WHY anyway....stop wasting yourvenergy thinking about her & trying to figure it out when in reality it doesnt matter because you are having nothing more to do with her anyway.....sometimes its difficult to let go of talking about wierd situations we have gone through even when theyare done & over but it is best when we can put it all in the past, drop it & get on with life.

Yeah, I know it is a little odd that I am avoiding her, but trying to figure what in the world happened. I had just never seen this level of odd. I am sure in a few years, I will laugh about it. Right now though, it is all just so weird and i am at a loss. I probably should have listened to my overly honest coworker back in July. She flat out said she is odd enough that she would be hard to understand and would drive somebody crazy... Until now, I did not know that somebody that could be ultra comfortable around me, but ultra uncomfortable as well. I try to internalize what I do wrong with relationships (whether dating, friendships or etc). In this case, I hate to just write her off as odd, but nothing makes sense.

I have never met or been around somebody that was so secretive that we hung out...didn't want her people around and didn't want to acknowledge me when she saw me in public. Yet, she was all in my space when we were together, mimicked me, sought out my attention and continued to set up the one on one environment, but not say anything (literally) when we got to that one on one environment. I never did have a relationship with her, but I feel like I gave as much energy trying to figure her out. My coworkers just thought it was odd. Given there was a stretch that we were hanging out so much and she was acting the way she was, a few of them asked if we were dating. They had no idea how to approach her, because we were not, but the way she acted and talked about me to them, you would have thought we were.

I do know that she has an ex that she goes back and forth with a lot. Apparently, they have done that since high school...Back together for a month, gone... Had I known that from the start, that would have put up a red flag and I would not have pursued her. That could also explain why she goes back and forth with how she interacts with me.

As for the email, with what my job is and the content of the email, there isn't really much of an option to forward the one on, even if it is weird that she was contacting me.

But, I am reinforcing barriers.... Not inviting her to things...not responding to texts...etc.

Just let it go, your not interested therefore the ' why's' don't matter.
There could be any number of reasons she is the way she is and you will never know.

Imho, your starting to sound a little obsessed, yourself.
"It doesn't matter"

Why the need to put her neatly in a box. And give her a label.?

What you should be asking yourself is not,"why is 'she'.....?"

But "why do I care? Why does it bother me? Why do I need to label her? Why am I obsessing over a girl I am not interested in?"

If you have to focus on anything, focus on those questions.
I hope your able to get over her and move on. All the best for your future.

I know I need to let it go.... just some fear that is based off of a really bad situation I had before (which led to me collecting receipts and phone calls from an ex and coming close to a restraining order against her. that one was also a pathological liar... wanted to get me one on one, then tell lies about what we had said. the girl stole my thesis topic in graduate school). So, i cannot explain this girl at all and why she just appears at different times and it freaks me out because the behavior change was so drastic (like the ex). I have caught this one in lies as well...i.e. telling her coworkers that I am inviting her to things when I am not and she invited herself. I am trying to work past that part of things. I know it is weird... All of my past relationships except one has resulted in me still being on friendly terms with my exes. I have a few ex's that I still communicate with fairly regularly. So, statistically speaking, the odds have been much greater that I have had good experiences in that department. But, the bad one tends to stay more in your mind and now I see some similarities on behavior with this one, even though I never dated, so my mind wonders. What sucks, is my friend wanted to set me up with somebody... That seemed sweet..cute... trustworthy... Just not in a place to trust right now or get involved.

apologies for misreading your sentence.
I am surprised to be the only one.
But, sounds like problem is resolved.

No problem. I probably did not explain it the best either... Of course, some of it cannot be explained...lol. Thanks for the input though. I hope it is resolved by now... I will not contact her and all of my coworkers/friends dislike her anyhow, except the one...So, they are not going to invite her to anything. She hates my coworker that is okay with her too, so she should not be reaching out to her.

Thanks for all of the help. I feel like I am in a good spot. I met with my counselor today too. She kind of echoed some of the stuff... This girl displays an odd, controlling, stalker-ish quality. I distance myself, she pushes her way back in. The emphasis being on her being too immature to be in a relationship, but wants to control my interactions and needs to know where and what I am doing.

She hit home on what I struggle with..... lack of confidence, too forgiving sometimes, so I get myself into situations. Most of the time, it is not an issue. Most people are not going to take advantage of somebody.... this one is not most times. She did emphasize that I tend to try to seek an answer when things go weird. I don't let it go, I have to understand why something went wrong so I can close the door on it. Very true. She emphasized on this particular case though, as odd as this girl is, there likely won't be a final answer on what happened and that I need to distance myself, be extremely clear that I no longer have any interest in a friendship or communication with her and accept that she was weird.

But, overall, I am in a much better place.. I deserve better.