[_Hope_]

i all really want out of life is to love and be loved, why is it so hard?

Linda

[dragonphoto]

It is hard because the people we love sometimes do not feel the same way (yeah that is crap don't ever listen to when people say something like this). I have learned one thing in my life "The more you love a person that is unlovable the more lovable they become. And the more lovable they become the more love they show." Everybody you meet is a new person to love, there is no reason for those people not to show love towards you. There is no reason for being down on love because it is always there, like the air we breathe. Just like air it is something you cannot see, but you know it is there. ((((BPD))) sending some love! )

[_Hope_]

thanks, that is such a great way of looking at life. thanks for sending love my way i really appreciate it

Linda

[dragonphoto]

)

[salukigirl]

what i noticed is that sometimes when we find someone there is one thing that really draws us to them. whether it be their musical talent, or them being charming, their job whatever. but after a while thats the same exact thing that bugs us.

like my ex was an awesome drummer. but i learned that the reason he was so awesome was because thats all he cared about. (me included)

or my abusive ex. he was sooo charming. but because he was so charming he gots girls all the time. and i mean all the time. and was a total partier and his drinking is what lead him to hit me.

get what im saying? my boyfriend now is one of the nice guys. doesnt cheat, would never lie to me, doesnt smoke, doesnt drink hardly ever. kindof a nerd lol. which normally would turn me off. but i learned that thats what i need. and his personality and how good of a person he is is why i love him.

opposites attract but they also end up badly sometimes. i go for the "good guy" now and its worked out much better and with much luch bruising and crying plus he has helped me majorly in getting over my issues with men.

[SeptemberMorn]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
"The more you love a person that is unlovable the more lovable they become. And the more lovable they become the more love they show."

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Not saying it in an argumentative way, Dragon, but do you have personal proof that this works? What if the person that you love doesn't have the capacity to receive, understand or give back love??

[SeptemberMorn]

Linda, I'm pretty sure what kind of love you're talking about. What I have to say probably has nothing to do with it, but... for what it's worth...

I haven't known you long enough to say "I love you" to you, but I certainly consider you one of my Friends. The word is capitalized because I consider you a special friend. It's my hope and desire that we get to know each other better because you are a sincere, caring person. Nurturing a friendship with you is something I consider very special!

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( Linda )))))))))))))))

[salukigirl]

what do you mean by "unlovable"? cause i agree with september....the people that are unlovable usually cant even give love in the first place. they have to be ready and willing to give and receive. and for some reason, the receiving is often the hardest part.

depending on past relationships, parents and tons of other factors, a lot of people are brought up to think that they dont deserve it. whether its from old boyfriends cheating or hitting you or if your dad was just never around. you really have to be able to say that you love yourself first. thats usually the biggest problem. if you dont think you deserve it you will sabotage it and the cycle continues. you have to realize that you deserve the best and that you are beautiful in every way. if you dont see it, why would anyone else?

coming from a hypocrit i know lol i know i have issues that i need to work on but im trying everyday and since i have stopped putting myself down and obsessing about my appearance, my relationship has gotten a lot better. he used to get so mad when i would call myself ugly and i understand why now.

try giving yourself some positives everyday. work on your self esteem and your self worth. confidence is the biggest factor (at least to me) in attracting people and if you love yourself, youll be confident.

Sometimes you find yourself with a mate who simply does not know how to love someone....and we all know love is blind...so put the two together and there you go....unrequited, misguided love