My bf and I finally broke up. For those of you who know the story, he was homeless for a short period of time and I saved him from that.

Well, I found out that he loved his ex-ex fiance more than me. We were engaged, too. Don't ask me how I found out. But it hurts. I gave him everything I could have given to a person I loved and more.

I feel betrayed and just... well, heartbroken. I know a lot of you said before that I should break up with him for many justifiable reasonons, and I should have listened but I needed to play it out for myself.

He told me lies. He said he's never been so lucky to find someone like me. He said he's never been happier. Over and over again I heard this.

Then I find out that he's never been happier with an ex fiance - that his happiest days were with her. I am his ex fiance and this his first ex fiance.

Screw him. I am sooo done. I am so tired of this charade. WTF??????

Reading your posts about your now ex boyfriend reminds me a lot of a relationship I had for 3 years - I finally broke it off when I had had enough of his anger, his drinking, and not having a job (and relying on me to take care of him). It was difficult to break it off but it was for the best, and I imagine that is how it will be for you as well. Now I am in a relationship with someone who never takes out their anger on me, doesn't drink, and doesn't rely on me financially. It is so much healthier and so much better. I hope you find that special someone someday, somebody who appreciates you and treats you well.

You know, I supported him financially for nearly four months. Now he blames me for making him give up his pride in order to get a job. Screw him. He is a lost cause that i am better without. Everyone here said it before, too.

Bottom line is --- second time in my life this has happened. Where apparently I'm not that interesting... I've only lived in Nepal, Greece , and Ireland, I lived in Alaska gutting fish, but I am not interesting enough.

[rechu]

I know it's tough, but it sounds like it is for the best. I had a situation with an ex where I found out he had been lying to me about something important. Then when I found out he was lying, he tried to blame it on me, saying I should have known how he really felt. I guess at least that helped me see him for who he really was and made it easier to let go.

You are better without him. It will get better. Sending lots of hugs!

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve to be treated this way.

At least now it's over.. it will take time to move one, but I'm sure you can do it. You're very strong

[Yzen]

Sorry this happened to you. You deserve much better. It is his loss.

Thank you, all. I Do deserve better than these lies I've been fed. wtf? Just last week to my therapist I was saying I was holding on because I never felt so loved before.... now it turns out to be a big fat lie??????

[Sunflower123]

I’m sorry this happened to you. I concur with the other posters that you deserve to be treated better. I think you even had reservations about him. You were fortunate to find out now before it proceeded further. I know you need to process this but I hope you find somebody worthy of your time and attention at some point. It truly is his loss.

Thank you..... it just hurts so much to be betrayed like this and lied to. I know I dodged a bullet given all of my concerns and reservations, and you're all correct, I deserve better. It just hurts. Dammit.

[Erebos]

I am sorry golden, whilst this isn't much consolation, at least he gets to mooch off someone else now.
Until they get fed up of him.
Just watch he doesn't come crawling back to you when it does happen.

Give yourself time, don't feel bad for grieving it's a necessary part of loss.
Your so much better than that whole situation, and so much better than him without a doubt.

I wish you all the best with moving forward.
Take care.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

So sorry to hear this, Eve.

It sounds like an exhausting and undermining situation.

Better days are waiting for you, just ahead.

[divine1966]

I am so sorry, but listen, imagine you supported him for 4 years! Be glad it’s over. You are way better. And I don’t think you need to worry about being interesting. This guy is homeless uneducated unemployed addict. Please talking about who is NOT interesting. Value yourself more

I know this feels personal, but I don't think it is. I think 50% of all men don't think cheating on a woman matters. It doesn't mean 50% of all men cheat. It means half of them don't think it's a big deal to cheat. Out of 100 men, 50 don't think it's a big deal to cheat. But not all 50 of them will cheat. Out of the 50 that don't think cheating is a big deal, 30 of them will actually cheat, no matter who they are with at the time. This is what makes it not personal. Those men will cheat on anyone they are with. Of the 30 men that cheat, 10 will try hard to not get caught. The other 20 won't care enough about the woman to care if they get caught. Of the 20 who don't care if they get caught, 10 of them won't even view the woman as human. Those are the men who will verbally abuse a woman, they are what I would call PIGS. Donald Trump falls in this category. Of those 10 men, 1 or 2 will physically hurt a woman, rape, abuse, etc. Harvey Weinstein falls in this category.

I'm sorry, but I believe men behaving badly, even if it's merely believing there's nothing really wrong with cheating, applies to a full 50% of the entire male population. This is also why it's not personal, it's what they are like. My daughter had two serious, long term relationships from age 18 to age 28, both of them cheated on her. I'm so glad she didn't marry either of them. I feel for you, but it's not you, so you need to stop thinking like that. Half of all men don't "get it." So, play the odds, don't rush into a relationship. And don't forget, half of the men you might team up with are going to be duds. But don't hate men, that's not helpful. Just don't get hung up on why did this happen to me. You know why, because half of all men are clueless about how to treat a woman.

[Bill3]

Thank you all so very much. I didn't eat yesterday at all and was filled with thoughts of him all day and all night. I couldn't help or stop it.... I went to bed at 7 PM. I am depressed.

Yes, he can go mooch off someone else now. Good luck to him. I carried his sorry *** for so long, and he has yet to pay me any of the money he owes me. He just quit yet another job -- at McDonalds. He cannot hold a job down and refuses to find solid work, yet again. So it's been two months since I sent him home on a bus, and he still doesn't have a job except for an unpaid internship. I bet you anything he will quit that, too.

WHY I loved this guy, I do not know. I got so attached, and I think it's because my own situation right now sucks and I am very lonely.

Divine, you are right. He is far less interesting himself! He doesn't even know how to stand on his own two feet. And I DO need to think more of myself. My self-esteem took a blow through this. To tell me that he loved someone else more - well that's just cruel. And I don't know if he said that to hurt me -- which is what he does when he's mad.

I don't know how I am going to get through this day of work. I don't know how I can possibly focus. I had to take yesterday off. I wish I could take off the whole week.

I am a total wreck. :/

Golden eve,
Sorry you are so torn up over this. Though this is not the optimal way to lose weight if you are like many women out there (wanting to drop a few pounds) look at this as another silver lining besides all the money you are saving.

I am optimistic you will find someone else eventually. You have an outgoing and caring temperament. I takes time to get past these things.

thank you, Hoping. I just cannot eat when I am upset or stressed. I can't eat at all and I stop taking care of myself. I am still physically shaking from the upset. That's how upset I am. I called psychics and one said that someone more worthy will come around in the warmer weather, but another said it will very very difficult for me to find a marriage partner. Great. Just what i needed to hear. But I know deep down that my ex is not worthy of me or my heart. I am trying to keep that perspective, but I am so hurt by his words about his other ex. Did he really need to tell me that he loved her more than me? That was just cruelty. It's just so very painful right now, i don't even know how to function.

I cannot work, I cannot stop shaking. I cannot eat. I am an emotional wreck. I think I need to take off today from work again. I am not sure, but I cannot focus on work for the life of me.

((((((((Golden Eve)))))))) I understand not eating. You are in pain. Take it a day (a moment, even) at a time. I agree with everyone else. You deserve much better than that loser. It may not feel like it now, but you're going to be ok. Give it time.

[divine1966]

Take few days off. Few times when I had hard time I went on emotional support chat on PC. It was very helpful. One day I was there all day. All we talked about was movies and food and other topics for distraction. I didn’t feel alone (it was holiday time and I was alone, and everyone else was just as alone so we all felt better) Do try it.

Originally Posted by starrysky

((((((((Golden Eve)))))))) I understand not eating. You are in pain. Take it a day (a moment, even) at a time. I agree with everyone else. You deserve much better than that loser. It may not feel like it now, but you're going to be ok. Give it time.

thank you, Starrysky, I appreciate your words. He IS a loser. I never should have gone down this path with him. He proved to me over and over again that he is a liar and con artist and is not to be trusted -- let alone, he cannot seem to keep a job or stay on track. He is not worthy of me --- now I just need to really believe and embrace that.

[TishaBuv]

He did you a favor by leaving. Promise yourself you won’t let anyone ‘mooch’ of you again. Then you will find a man, not a mooch.

Originally Posted by divine1966

Take few days off. Few times when I had hard time I went on emotional support chat on PC. It was very helpful. One day I was there all day. All we talked about was movies and food and other topics for distraction. I didn’t feel alone (it was holiday time and I was alone, and everyone else was just as alone so we all felt better) Do try it.

I thought about taking time off, but then I might focus on him too much. I have been already and am being obsessive over it. I may try the chat later after work (if I can work today). Thanks, Divine.

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

He did you a favor by leaving. Promise yourself you won’t let anyone ‘mooch’ of you again. Then you will find a man, not a mooch.

So true, though I left him. I deserve a TRUE man. Never again will I sell myself short like I have been.