Desparating Seeking HELP!!!

Sorry your childhood was so tough--it is understandable that you will always be sorting out the effects of it all on you.

There is also a verse that says, "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good." I try to hate the things people do but find things about them I love or like. If you don't feel love, all you can do is evaluate their actions remembering the things they did for you. If you were neglected, not feeling love is understandable==and it might be you protecting yourself from being hurt==as in a coping mechanism you learned for your survival. Perhaps you haven't even allowed yourself to fully cry and recognize just how hurtful they were. Talking about it here is good for you. At funerals, I have noticed that everyone seems to grieve differently (maybe because everyone's relationships vary from person to person?). I am sorry they made your life so difficult. I do think that the mistakes, abuse, hardships, etc. that children endure can set them up for more secure or more difficult lives. They did some things to you that made you life more difficult so you need to continue to acknowledge that. The truth is the truth.

I have noticed you really do practice consistent kindness on PC. Maybe all the hardships have made you more able to love others who have also had to deal with tough things. And maybe you were just born with a gentle, giving temperament also. I am glad you are here. Thanks to your parents for making you! Though I do understand that you have a lot of emotional pain because of the neglectful, mean and unloving things that they did or allowed to happen.

So sorry about your childhood.

I don't think you can force love. I don't really love anyone in my family. One brother was abusive, but my parents and other brother weren't really. I try to just be kind, but it does bug me that I don't love them.

((((katydid777)))) We all love you here. Let us know how it goes with your T.

I'm sorry that this has happened to you! I could never do anything right for my parents. My niece and nephew were more important than me to my parents.

I completely agree with you!

I completely understand!

That great advice!I wish that I had thought about that myself!

I went six months without speaking to my mom. I wish that I had stuck to that! I would have less problem.

My mom slap me will hard all because I had lost my faith.

I completely agree with you!

Big hugs! I completely understand how you feel!

I am not entirely sure exactly what you are asking what you need to do about this situation. I'm sorry I'm not trying to be obtuse but I will say this about your question.

Honoring your father and mother does not imply that you have to have feelings for them. I believe it does not mean that you have to deny what was done to you or act as if it was nothing but it does mean that anything to do with them you just do it with the same respect you would expect from others.

I hope that makes sense.

I completely understand. I reached the point where enough was enough. It took years to get to that point. I was tired of feeling guilty and worried over an abusive relationship that was never going to change and I walked away from it. It is what it is. People won’t understand something they’ve never been through. I suspect, though, behind a lot of those Facebook posts are some complicated situations that people don’t share.

I can understand you Katy, somewhat. Grew up in a strict christian home. Their behaviour didn't reflect what was being taught in church. More than confusing. Hurtful to a small child.

I'm so sorry for what you've been through.

I remember in our church, it went something like "honour your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land..."

I know that words can be twisted to different meanings. I believe it was first meant to mean "not to take the fact you are given a life from your parents lightly".

Well.. when you are shown the opposite of love and acceptance, and you still want to keep your faith and belief in this God, it seems very difficult.

I've allowed myself to be angry with God, to question him, to tell him how I really feel about this life. Why so many children, so many people, everywhere are suffering?

I don't have answers, I don't even understand that eventually everything will be justified. But all I know is I can do nothing but what I feel I need to do, and even there I fail. I still want my faith, I still want to believe, so I do. But it seems we are being tested too harshly at times.

I just wanted to say I feel bad for you, and I hope you feel better with all this Many hugs to you and prayers.