Definition of a Toxic Person

That is spot on. When I tried to encourage my ex and help him through difficult issues the conversation ultimately turned to how I caused his misfortune and how I needed to improve in order for it to stop. It wasn't merely negative thinking. Job loss, money issues, even him losing a bid out on a house we're all my fault.

It's about shifting of responsibilities. I would make suggestions to my toxic family member trying to help her solve her own problems, but she kept giving me excuses as to why each and every one of my suggestions would not work. I eventually figured it out that she wanted me to do things for her, rather than have me help her with helping herself.

I stopped walking around in the same circle with her, and now I feel less dizzy.

I tried to be supportive to my ex. Every single time I tried to help or show interest in what he was doing I was pushed away. I fell pregnant, and we were going to move into together again so I was looking at houses with him. Then, he started claiming the child wasn't his, starting fights, so I said I was no longer interested and didn't wish to be involved. It got to a point where he was saying it was my fault he wasn't bidding on houses fast enough because his "judgment" was always clouded because of me. He recently bid on a house and was outbidded. This was my fault because if I didn't stress him out he would have bidded accordingly.

I eventually just said screw this. Take control of your own life, you're 54 years old. Of course, he came up with some excuse as to why it was my fault and how dare I say that.

I have stayed no contact and my life is a lot less stress ridden. Any contact is relating to property exchange. I leave out all emotion.

Good for you. And I have read and responded to your other posting. You are a one brave woman, and your baby is so fortunate to have you as mom!

“There is no point in being in a relationship that is not mutually beneficial.”

My best friend just said to me.

That is abusive behavior. Ugh.

He was an extremely verbally abusive and toxic person. Everything and anything that went wrong was always because of me. I mean they were RIDICULOUS things he would blame me for. He use to complain to his friend about me, and she contacted me on facebook one day calling me "heartless". I ended up messaging her back telling her my side of everything. He went down to confront her about contacting me and when he found out I had told her all of this he said...

Ex: You told her all those lies!

Me: They weren't lies. It isn't my fault you choose to forget or deny the things you've done.

Ex: You ruined her marriage!

Me: I...ruined her marriage? She's a 50 + year old woman who use to cheat on her husband with you before we met. I ruined her marriage?

Ex: I went down there to confront her and YOU were the one that contacted her.

Me: First of all, she has been contacting me monthly with new facebook accounts for like a year. SHE contacted me.

Ex: Well her marriage is ruined and she is getting a divorce because of you.

I was some how to blame for ruining the marriage of a 50 something year old woman. He had went down there and contacted her husband. Yet I ruined her marriage.

That's ridiculous. Good riddance!!!! Extremely toxic. That kind of person will ruin your mental health and sanity.

I will add one... they will never let you go.

My Toxic Boss kept trying to abuse me (and still does) until I went to the bosses at work and told them to separate us or else. He still tries to have contact with me.

A toxic person at my condo is off the HOA but still sends us e-mails and demands we respond. She can't let it go.

Unbelievable! I am so sorry. Toxic people are everywhere.

They are. Wonder why?

A very good question I've been asking myself for years!!!!

I had a seriously abusive toxic boss that ended up leaving me nasty messages SCREAMING at me on my phone, sending me home without pay, etc. I ended up quitting.

Is it because they can???

Yes. My old boss found that I did something wrong and sent a handwritten note to my new boss.

Fortunately my new boss doesn't have a toxic bone in his body... so he didn't even understand what the note was about.

My old boss is toxic and will never change.

Toxic people rarely do change.

Sadly, I agree. You just have to get away from them. This is so hard to do, too, sometimes. Some of us get to be part of the toxic dance and become toxic as well.

I don't think it is possible for a person to change another person. A toxic person would have to decide to change on their own. And many will choose not to do that.

I have also found this.. they very rarely change.

Ggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I would kind of like to know what is causing it.

My guess is... in the past everyone was raised with strong manners engrained in them from youth. It scares me that maybe, just maybe, the human condition is to be toxic and that to the extent we are not toxic - we were given manners. However, without strong guidance and social conformance of good behavior, people are left to rot.

My guess is that family is the worst place for this because social niceties are relaxed.

I kind of wish someone would make this a real serious issue because honestly I am currently looking for a shack in the woods for my retirement.

I believe it stems from family relations, a toxic upbringing and other negative environmental influences.

There are a lot of unhappy people in this world, which doesn’t mean they’re toxic necessarily, but there’s a lot of unhappiness which can breed toxicity.

I don't know. My family was normal and kind but my sister is a toxic fool that I don't want anyplace around me. But I have noticed she is better behaved around her husband and husband's family when I am around. But once they are gone, the toxic disrespect comes flying at me.

That’s just sickening. Turning it off and on like a switch.

Agreed grrrrrrrrrrrrr

“Do you have toxic people in your life? Do they influence you in detrimental ways? Do they leave you feeling manipulated or bad about yourself after every encounter? If so, you’re probably wondering how things got to be this way. Despite your positive attitude and approach to life, you find yourself unexpectedly surrounded by negativity.

It might not occur to you that some of your strongest positive attributes may actually be attracting toxic people. These people may subconsciously feel threatened by your strengths, or they may just see you as an easy target. Either way, they will attempt to undermine or control you by limiting your peace of mind, happiness or success.”

Source:

7 Surprising Reasons You’re Attracting Toxic People