Definition of a Toxic Person

Ugh, now she texted me now asking if I have gotten over being offended. She doesn’t realize that this goes way beyond just how she made me feel with those comments.

I mean those were bad enough. If I had continued being friends with her, I would always be worried that I might be bothering her with my petty problems. And I’m sure she’d still expect me to listen to her problems for hours. It would be a very unequal relationship.

But, it’s all the wider patterns that those comments brought to my attention that are the real issue. She is a toxic, negative, victim-playing drama queen, and I see now that she’s only been draining me and bringing me down. I think I have to stay no contact. I am done. If I e-mail her and try to give explanations, she will just try to drag me back in to her drama.

I was able to block her through other contact methods, but I can’t seem to block her texts and several have gotten through.

Rechu, good for you. Do what you need to to for your own mental health and sanity. NO need for negative drama!!! Absolutely not. I hope you can figure out how to block the texts.

Some here have mentioned these things:
1. Venting our problems to others who eventually use this against us.
2. Not using our manners.

These ARE behaviors that led to toxic relationships.

I had a relationship with my FOO where they encouraged me to vent my frustration with other family members, then they threw that in my face the first second when they turned on me. So, I got myself caught in a trap that led to toxic... see?

And, yes, if we all remembered our good manners, so much strife would be thwarted.

Tisha - yeah, my mother is like that. I learned years ago not to divulge too much personal information to her. She eventually would find a way to turn around and use it against me.

This is really awesome thanks

I have been trying to get away from an old friend who I started to realize was like this and its hard cutting someone off but after reading your description, I can note see they have everything you mentioned. I mean everything. I guess maybe I have to be selfish in a way and just cut them off because it totally drains my energy just to even stay friends

I just have to work out a nice way to do it

But thanks

Toxic people are often passive aggressive. They won’t spell things out in direct manner but instead making passive aggressive sneaky comments. It’s quite silly but annoying.

Ugh, yes! I’ve grown hypersensitive to detecting this from having been taught by receiving this treatment.

How about someone who insults you veiled as humor. Then when you call them on it, they say they are only joking, and tell you that you are too thin skinned, and refuse to stop.

I laid down a boundary with a friend who was doing that. “If you don’t stop doing it, I won’t be your friend anymore.” She didn’t stop. We are no longer friends.

My dad does that. All the time. Now we all on occasion do stupid things like that but when it’s consistent and not improving when you ask you stop then it’s toxuc behavior to a t.