I can't just date for fun

Whoa. Be very careful!!! Someone who claims love after 3 dates is seriously rushing things. Soulmates? You hardly know each other. Why the hurry?? What’s going on here? Yes enjoy each other but to declare love this soon is a HUGE red flag. And if you disagree on so many things? You hardly know whether you’re truly compatible. Healthy love takes more time than 3 dates. This is very concerning. I would back way off from emotional ties and just observe and reflect... slow down. It is not healthy and those types of hurried relationships always blow up in disaster. This is not going to end well I’m afraid.

I am glad things are going well and you are having good time. I am a bit surprised re love declaration that fast (did he actually said he loves you or that he loves spending time with you?) but maybe it’s just me.

Soulmates? Did he say that? After 3 dates. And you disagree on many things after only three dates yet he thinks you two are soulmates? Something is amiss here

Also, what's not adding up here: he backed off after you had a bit of an emotional meltdown and after asking if he wanted to marry again. He acted rather coldly towards you and told you to enjoy this time of year.... that is pretty distant and shows some amount of finality. It was a subtle goodbye message, in my opinion. Now he's saying he loves you and that you're his soulmate? Did you initiate this conversation you had where you "talked it out"? Did you tell him that you love him and he replied with I love you too? And you said you haven't had sex yet?

“A man will say anything to a woman if he wants in her pants.”

Taken from an article on men "rushing in".

I think he senses your clinginess and is taking advantage of it, telling you what you want to hear. This just rings of trouble with glaring red flags.

I think it would be healthy for you to take a big step back and get to know this person for real and far more slowly. Hold off on sex for a full month and many more dates to see if you truly are compatible first. If he truly likes you, he will wait.

3 dates does not equal a relationship Aviza. I'm sorry but it doesn't.

Try not to future-talk with any man you go on dates with. That will always scare them away.

3 dates is not enough time to ask such personal questions of your dates if they want to marry or if they tell their adult children they are dating.

Just try to relax and enjoy yourself. Try not to put ALL the work in to getting to know the man. Let him ask you out. Let him take the lead.

I'm a planner, future is how I live. I told him I'll keep dating him the way I date deciding if I would want to marry him or not. And left it at that. He's very sweet. Brought me 2 dozen orange roses, to match my dress he asked me to wear. I really like him though we do have our differences.

I love orange roses. Beautiful. Nothing wrong with dating and not knowing where it might go for awhile. Just keep in mind that you can’t decide to marry him if he doesn’t want to be married. Just date and have fun. Good luck and happy new year.

Ooh... how lovely! Orange roses! A very nice gesture!

Did he now say he is open to the idea of marriage?

He did give me hope that he could change his mind. So yes hope always keeps me going.

After 3 dates most people would think it's too soon to be even talking about marriage. I think tbh I'd be a bit taken aback by any questions regarding that after a few dates.

My kids are adults too. To be honest because of this, my dating situation is none of their business in the first place and they never NEED to know. As their father, of course, I wouldn't keep it from them, but I mean it is neither something they have a say in nor should it affect their lives as adults. Definitely not something I feel compelled to keep them in the loop of with people that I date a couple or a few times. Only at such point as it became something of a relationship would I feel that it was worth sharing.

Well, it's still early and a wait and see kind of thing. Wait a while before sleeping with him. IF he's genuinely interested in you, he will be patient.