[Have Hope]

I have a social worker therapist whom I've seen for about 2-3 years now. She has been helpful to me in many ways, and I do like her for the most part. She helps me to see some aspects of myself that I've been unaware of.

But we are opposites in several ways, and she is not someone I would have chosen for myself, IF I had had the choice. Unfortunately, through my insurance, and given my schedule, I had very little choice in therapists.

Sometimes we butt heads and I disagree with her advice and viewpoint.

I am a very proactive person in life. I am not aggressive, but I am proactive. And I am learning how to be more assertive with people and with establishing better boundaries, because this is something I've struggled with.

I am also a feminist. So where we butt heads is in the area of feminism and in other ways that I think require proactive and assertive action.

She's far more passive than I am, and I don't think she quite gets the fact that in my workplace on my team, I work with ALL men. And that means I have to be more assertive as the only female.

So I think my therapist can give some really bad advice when it comes to being assertive.

I want to go after a potential leadership position in my company. I had some ideas on how I would lead my team, and she poo-pooed the ideas, when the things I am thinking of would make our company and my team much more productive, far better in our skill set, cutting edge and competitive.

I guess what I am getting at is I know I have leadership qualities and skills. I've been a leader in various capacities and I have an ability to inspire, motivate and encourage people. I think I have some great ideas for improvement within my team, and I was super annoyed that my therapist rejected my ideas.

I cannot change therapists easily, but I'm thinking within the new year that perhaps I should.

I want someone who will support me being proactive, taking on a leadership role, and being assertive when I have to be within a whole group of men.

I don't think my therapist can do this for me. I see her as being much more conditioned to be a passive female who just sits back and accepts status quo, who doesn't want to make waves in any way and who doesn't want to take on a leadership role. And that's how she speaks with me.

Change and improvements only come from strong leaders who see a vision and who can implement it effectively. I see a vision and she just doesn't get it.

So we are oil and water and I don't think it's working for me anymore.

It feels good to write this all down and get it out there. These feelings have been building in me for a long time now.

Any input is welcome. And I hope I've put this post in the right forum.

[sarahsweets]

Hey @Have Hope: I know you fairly well over my year being here at PC and I think I can say I know your strengths and have listened to your struggles. I think finding a therapist that shares your passion and ideals is really a good idea. It’s ok to have a therapist challenge you because I think that’s part of what therapy is. But to fundamentally disagree on prospects and beliefs like yours is almost ... toxic. I mean is she in the 21st century? Has she not had experiences with men in authority or been overlooked, belittled, talked over or ignored in any capacity. Is she even in a professional environment where that would happen? It sounds like she is a a status quo sort of person. That’s not awful but it’s obviously not useful for you or what you need. I know it’s a PITA to deal with getting a new therapist and dealing with schedules and insurance companies but I think you are on the right track in trying to enhance your therapy and work towards goals for your future. ((Hugs))

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

Hey @Have Hope: I know you fairly well over my year being here at PC and I think I can say I know your strengths and have listened to your struggles. I think finding a therapist that shares your passion and ideals is really a good idea. It’s ok to have a therapist challenge you because I think that’s part of what therapy is. But to fundamentally disagree on prospects and beliefs like yours is almost ... toxic. I mean is she in the 21st century? Has she not had experiences with men in authority or been overlooked, belittled, talked over or ignored in any capacity. Is she even in a professional environment where that would happen? It sounds like she is a a status quo sort of person. That’s not awful but it’s obviously not useful for you or what you need. I know it’s a PITA to deal with getting a new therapist and dealing with schedules and insurance companies but I think you are on the right track in trying to enhance your therapy and work towards goals for your future. ((Hugs))

Thanks, @sarahsweets!

You are 100% correct. She does challenge me in good ways, and in ways that have been helpful. But yes, I believe that this kind of fundamental difference is HINDERING me, and perhaps is even harming me.

If I were a male, my ideas and approach would be perfectly acceptable within my company and in any corporation. I have said this to her.

When I called a meeting with my CEO to discuss my achievements over the last year (because he is largely unaware of them and because my boss is downplaying my achievements because he's threatened by me), well, my therapist told me not to march in there telling him "this is what I've achieved over the last year". She advised that I adopt a MUCH lower profile and say something along the lines of "this is what I've been working on over the last year". She said it comes across as narcissistic if I call out my achievements in the way I wanted to. So I told her, if I were a male calling out my achievements in that way, no one would take issue with it. It's only because I'm a female and you think I need to downplay my role and myself. Well, I told her I wasn't going to do that.

This is a perfect example of how we differ and of how she is.

It's soooooooo frustrating.

Yes, it's a royal pain to switch therapists, and I have limitations on choices, but even a male may be better for me than she is. In fact, a male may be preferable..... I have to act like one at work, and I may need a male perspective on how to be assertive.

[winter4me]

You may find support re: working goals by finding a group supportive of women in business/ambitious women----I know there are some meet-up groups and in many places organizations led by and for women (eg Women's League/the like) can be great places to meet others and network/talk strategy. It sounds like your T may be helpful for some issues but not so much for others and it is a waste of your time to try to get this kind of support from her. Many women are still, whether they 'see' it or not, really afraid of upsetting the "norm"(a false one)---I am retired now, but I can think of so many times I was told "you can't do That" or "...catch more flies with honey"(anyone tell men that?)---and I can say that my best work was done when I did not listen to the naysayers. (even creating material and fine tuning procedures that I was told "We are still using that" years after I was working elsewhere----my only regrets are around those times I fell into the "be nice" (in the sense of "be meek") trap. I am Impressed with you. Keep on truckin

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by winter4me

You may find support re: working goals by finding a group supportive of women in business/ambitious women----I know there are some meet-up groups and in many places organizations led by and for women (eg Women's League/the like) can be great places to meet others and network/talk strategy. It sounds like your T may be helpful for some issues but not so much for others and it is a waste of your time to try to get this kind of support from her. Many women are still, whether they 'see' it or not, really afraid of upsetting the "norm"(a false one)---I am retired now, but I can think of so many times I was told "you can't do That" or "...catch more flies with honey"(anyone tell men that?)---and I can say that my best work was done when I did not listen to the naysayers. (even creating material and fine tuning procedures that I was told "We are still using that" years after I was working elsewhere----my only regrets are around those times I fell into the "be nice" (in the sense of "be meek") trap. I am Impressed with you. Keep on truckin

Thanks so much, @winter4me!

You're sooooooo right. Omg. Ignore the naysayers! Yes, many people, including many women, are too afraid of upsetting the status quo. I don't wish to be one of them. In my company, the status quo needs massive change and improvement because it's just not working "as is". They are financially struggling and we're losing important business. And I have proven solutions to their problems! They even told me when I first came on board, if I see things that need improvement and change, to speak up. And I plan on doing so, the next time I can get in front of my CEO.

Those are excellent suggestions to join supportive women's groups for business. I may look into this!!!! I can see that kind of support being most helpful to me right now. Thank you!

[Have Hope]

Another case in point:

I told my therapist that my whole team needs official training, translating to a certification course in our field of practice. My therapist told me that my team may not WANT to complete a training course, and so I shouldn't make it mandatory IF I was promoted to be the team's leader. This was one of my ideas that she shot down.

I said to her, well, we're all required to get certified each year in one area of our work, and we're required to complete THAT training, so why not require the team to complete an additional training in our area of work that will make each person an expert, it will accelerate everyone's skill set, and it will create a standard in our field of practice for all to follow?

Not only that, but this will help our WHOLE company to be far more cutting edge AND thus competitive with other companies.

Here's a perfect quote I found that spells out the difference between my therapist's perspective and mine:



Yes, I must change therapists and SOON. She is going to create self-doubt, and I don't want to listen to her. She will hold me back.... I cannot allow that.

@sarahsweets, you're right. It's toxic for me.

[divine1966]

Could be that she is wrong therapist for you but just a thought...

Could it be that your t doesn’t per se object to your ambition, but just has suggestions re how to approach your team and bosses, not that she objects to you speaking up or thriving at work. Perhaps if in the past saying certain things to your superiors caused you problems in a workplace, she just want you to go about it in a diplomatic way.

I am not sure how she is passive or less feminist than you. If she was that passive she would be a housewife or work a job that required no skills or education etc but she has a minimum of master’s degree and is state licensed and holds professional job probably for a long time, so id say she is not a passive person. She might just have some different ideas, perhaps based on your past experiences.

Of course she could be completely wrong for you. No need to stick around then

I agree with other suggestion. There are groups for women working in business and entrepreneurs. I know there is one on meetup in my area

[Have Hope]

Yes she is wrong for me. And we have differing ideas and approaches. I do see her approach as passive. You don’t know her like I do. She’s very meek and mousy. It doesn’t matter that she got a masters degree. I need someone on board with teaching me how to be assertive and she is not the person. And she’s the type of woman who would just accept a lower salary than a man for the same position. That is not me. I would fight for it to gain the same salary. So no, she’s not a feminist.

As far as past supervisors? You almost offend me with your statement. I will correct you there. I have not had trouble with supervisors. I’ve been abused and bullied by a few. There’s a HUGE difference.

I am also very diplomatic in all my relations. Always. And I’m the most positive and enthusiastic on my whole team. My boss can’t stand me because I shine at work and because I have ethics he does not have. I cannot help who I am, but it Is erroneous and offensive to imply I am not diplomatic.

My CEO really likes me, he’s told me this many times, and he’s the one who truly matters. He hired me, not my boss. I don’t think my boss will be in his position much longer. The CEO knows the dirtbag tricks he’s been pulling lately.

Anyways, this is about my therapist being wrong for me and doing more harm than good.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Have Hope

Yes she is wrong for me. And we have differing ideas and approaches. I do see her approach as passive. You don’t know her like I do. She’s very meek and mousy. It doesn’t matter that she got a masters degree. I need someone on board with teaching me how to be assertive and she is not the person. And she’s the type of woman who would just accept a lower salary than a man for the same position. That is not me. I would fight for it to gain the same salary. So no, she’s not a feminist.

As far as past supervisors? You almost offend me with your statement. I will correct you there. I have not had trouble with supervisors. I’ve been abused and bullied by a few. There’s a HUGE difference.

I am also very diplomatic in all my relations. Always. And I’m the most positive and enthusiastic on my whole team. My boss can’t stand me because I shine at work and because I have ethics he does not have. I cannot help who I am, but it Is erroneous and offensive to imply I am not diplomatic. My CEO loves me, and he’s the one who truly matters.

I don’t mean to offend you. Looks like I am wrong about your t

Maybe it’s a different therapist. I thought the one you had before wanted you to take charge and be assertive and stand up for yourself while you wanted her to be more warm and fuzzy. It sounds like this one is the opposite, maybe it’s a different one. She doesn’t want you to be more assertive in the manner you wanted to. Have you tried posting on therapy sub forum? They sometimes have good ideas. I often don't agree with my t.

Have you applied for promotion?

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I don’t mean to offend you. Looks like I am wrong about your t

Maybe it’s a different therapist. I thought the one you had before wanted you to take charge and be assertive and stand up for yourself while you wanted her to be more warm and fuzzy. It sounds like this one is the opposite, maybe it’s a different one. She doesn’t want you to be more assertive in the manner you wanted to. Have you tried posting on therapy sub forum? They sometimes have good ideas. I often don't agree with my t.

Have you applied for promotion?

Thanks Divine! No problem. Nope, wrong therapist or person. My therapist has never encouraged me to stand up for myself or to be assertive BECAUSE she is very passive herself. I need the opposite right now because I am forced to stand up for myself.

I may have posted this thread in the wrong forum, but she does not do "psychotherapy" with me. It's more like talk therapy.

My CEO tells me leadership is my next step. He even tried to move me into a leadership role but it didn’t work out internally. There’s no application process, it’s simply a matter of speaking up with my CEO and having more convos with him about a promotion.

[divine1966]

Yeah it’s called psychotherapy forum but people post about seeing social workers or therapists or psychiatrists or even life coach. It’s just called that way .

Good luck

[Have Hope]

What I'd also like to call out in this thread is that people, weaker people, always want to take down the strong because it makes them feel less weak. Bad people often want to take down the good people because they're envious of them. Abusers abuse others because they feel inferior, they feel weak and they are ultimately DEEPLY insecure about themselves. So they need to feel power over another because it makes them feel less weak and more powerful. Same with narcissists.

I am ultimately a very strong person in a a lot of ways because of all the many life challenges I've had to overcome. I am weak in several areas, yes, and those are the areas I wish to strengthen and improve. Like being assertive at work as the only female surrounded by men; allowing myself to have a voice at work, and speaking up even when I am anxious and even when my PTSD kicks in, making me physically shake in fear. Being assertive at work and going after that leadership role I wish to have, which I am ready for..... going after it even though my own boss is trying to undermine my success because he sees me as a threat.

My therapist is the completely wrong person to work with me on these issues. She's like, c'est la vie. The world isn't fair, and work is only just work. Status quo. Well, I don't see it that way. It's my career, it's my livelihood. It's also my passion. It's not just work to me. It's not just something I do to pay the bills. I'm in fact, very devoted and very passionate about what I do.

She doesn't strengthen me any, and she doesn't even acknowledge my strengths. She doesn't lift me up, in fact, she can really bring me down. I end up just talking talking talking, without the validation and without the acknowledgement of what I am doing RIGHT and doing WELL.

And women, I think, most especially need the validation and strengthening as women. Women are often subjected to abuse, to being objectified and demeaned. We face all sorts of issues that threaten our safety, our self-worth and our self-esteem. Women are often harassed at work, overlooked for promotions, and receive less pay than men. We still have a LONG way to go to achieve true equality in this world. And at work in so many corporate types of environments, we need to be strong and fight for what we want.

I am not one to let others trample on me, abuse me, take advantage of me, demean me, or pay me less than a man. And there are plenty of those people in this world. I've run across too many of them.

And my boss is one of those weaker people. He backstabs, he feels threatened so he throws people under the bus to make himself look good in front of our CEO, and he lies a lot. He is not a good person; he is not a good team leader. In fact, he demotivates our entire team every single day. I am not the only one that he has targeted. I know this for a fact and from others who have told me so.

What I am getting at I suppose is that I need someone to talk to who will validate my strengths, encourage me to have a strong voice, who will inspire me, and who will strengthen me as a woman. I need a feminist, but I want it to be a male.

[Open Eyes]

Perhaps what you need more of at this point Hope is a career coach individual. Often what women tend to face isn't so much discrimination, but, their emotional approach to dealing with challenges they face in the work force where they have to deal with male collegues. It's important to know the areas you are susceptible to getting emotional about. Actually, that is what this boss you have that is threatened by you works on because he knows if he can get an emotional reaction out of you, to see if he can get you to react in ways that are not desirable in the work place.

When you approach this CEO who is the one who has the actual power, it's important to have a presentation that you can present to him that covers all the things you see missing and how to best implement these things so that his company can begin increasing the profit margin instead of lingering in the just making it mode. It's important this CEO also learns how YOU would take over and implement all these things you lay out for him. It's important that when you do this you remain calm and avoid making statements that can be seen as "too much self interest". This CEO will want to know what is good and helpful to HIM, not what your needs are. Included in this presentation will be why you believe YOU are the person who can implement these changes so his company begins to operate in a much more profitable direction. The entire time you are presenting your ideas to him, you will need to make sure he feels "respected" and that he is worthy of the effort you want to put into his company. People always remember how they "feel" around you Hope, so what you want is to fill his office during your presentation with a calm and respect. That cannot be achieved if you enter his office angry, rattled, or upset as that will change him to wanting to get rid of the emotional because men simply don't respond well to emotion.

When sharing a vision, the key is to engage others in a way that they too can get excited about it and feel "motivated" when they are around you. Actually, part of being successful is being able to present or establish a motivational presence with others. Also, part of what you want to have happen is getting the employees motivated and part of that will be training them better so they have the right tools in place to engage what you see that is missing right now in his company. From what you have shared, this CEO doesn't really understand what is actually "missing". This is what he needs YOU to show him in a way that at the same time gives him a feeling that you respect him and WANT to be there to help him get that company functioning better.

You have had to do things for other departments because people in that department simply did not have the proper training to do that task. Unfortunately, when that happens you tend to get stuck doing something that isn't really part of your department. You can have a presentation prepared for him that shows him the departments that are simply not working properly that you notice isn't a problem for other companies that he competes with. You have noticed this because of the years you have worked in other companies. As you are doing this, you can point out to him why the manager you have to work with is not working out well because he is not really experienced the way it is needed. (Yes, he isn't getting others motivated, good call and something you can point out to the CEO)

If employees do need training, you will have to KNOW what needs to take place so they do get the proper training. "here is what they need to know, and here is how you get them trained properly". You have to show him that you not only see what is wrong, but that you actually KNOW how to fix it. From what you have described of your boss, he doesn't know WHAT isn't working right AND he doesn't know how to fix it. Basically, Hope, you will have to show him you can be the architect that has a vision on how to actually fix the structure so it functions and holds together.

It doesn't really matter what sex someone is, what matters is how well a person can partake in pulling things together so something can actually WORK. A lot of women do actually run successful businesses. If this CEO already likes you, then a big part of your battle is already won. That being said, you will have to remove the individuals that can become obstacles, and that's something you will need this CEO to understand as well. For example, "Joe" is going to be an obstacle to this plan of going forward, so we need to find a presence that has the ability to adapt and contribute to our vision of implimenting changes that are needed to generate and improve the revenue. Joe has shown me too many times now how he fails to appreciate certain things that need to be applied to make all the efforts applied actually come together and work. If Joe cannot see the significance of this small part I added then he is showing he lacks in recognizing how important that part really is. Truth is, all parts are important to the success of gaining more traffic to OUR business. This is something that can be likened to small additions that can add significant curb appeal to a home looking for a buyer. Even a restaurant needs certain details that attract new customers. We owned a restaurant for a while with partners and it's important everyone get on the same page when it comes to having certain details that contribute to catching attention.

This reminds me of all the details I put into decorating my ponies to create an experience. One time I was at a job where the birthday was for a man in his eighties and he had at one time been a performer and rode trick horses. This also was a party that happened to be on the fourth of July and I decorated my ponies in red, white and blue including big red, white and blue bows on their tails. A tail bow fell out and I wanted to fix it and my husband said, "ugh, just leave it, it's not important OE". Well, sure enough when I walked over to this elderly man the very first thing he said is "where is the tail bow?". Proof, I was right in how that one thing was important to the entire presentation that my husband refused to acknowledge. Yes, often small details are important to the much bigger picture and it's important that be respected.

[Have Hope]

@Open Eyes, thank you and I agree 100% with your thoughts! I have a plan and a course of action in place. I have had many positive conversations with my CEO and always have. I expect the next one to be similarly positive.

Maybe a life coach would be better for me. I had one once years ago and I loved him. Maybe I should return to him. Not a bad thought!!!

[Open Eyes]

Therapists are not necessarily good life coaches or good at tackling business challenges. They are often better for emotional challenges or dealing with others who have dysfunctional or emotional challenges or dealing with depression etc. I think you would find it helpful with a person who is good at dealing with different business world challenges. Actually, you may find some good books you can read in that area if you do some searches in the areas you could use some advise in. I am sure there must be some good books on developing good managment skills or something to that affect.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Therapists are not necessarily good life coaches or good at tackling business challenges. They are often better for emotional challenges or dealing with others who have dysfunctional or emotional challenges or dealing with depression etc. I think you would find it helpful with a person who is good at dealing with different business world challenges. Actually, you may find some good books you can read in that area if you do some searches in the areas you could use some advise in. I am sure there must be some good books on developing good managment skills or something to that affect.

You’re right. Although I think in order to receive medications through this organization, I am required to attend therapy. I will have to check on that.

I don’t really read anymore (books that is) but I do read articles online.. I liked the idea posed before about joining a women’s support group or meetup. Women in business. I could definitely use support around this and guidance.

[downandlonely]

You might also look for a career mentor, someone in your company or even outside of your company. They have organizations like LeanIn Energy that provide mentorship opportunities. I'm planning to be a mentee in 2020.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by downandlonely

You might also look for a career mentor, someone in your company or even outside of your company. They have organizations like LeanIn Energy that provide mentorship opportunities. I'm planning to be a mentee in 2020.

Thank you! That’s not a bad idea at all. hmmm.. great food for thought!

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Therapists are not necessarily good life coaches or good at tackling business challenges. They are often better for emotional challenges or dealing with others who have dysfunctional or emotional challenges or dealing with depression etc. I think you would find it helpful with a person who is good at dealing with different business world challenges. Actually, you may find some good books you can read in that area if you do some searches in the areas you could use some advise in. I am sure there must be some good books on developing good managment skills or something to that affect.

That's exactly my first thought. Never confide in a therapist about your career aspirations. They are literally in the wrong field to give you any relevant feedback. All therapists deal with is mental health -- not career goals.

I would also start attending networking events in your city for women only. Right there, other women in business roles, can listen to your issues working in an all male environment, and provide you with better guidance than a psychologically trained therapist ever could.

So, I would stop confiding in your therapist right now about your career plans. She is not trained or equipped to give you the feedback or support you could get from a headhunter, or career counselor or life coach who gets certified in how to address career paths.

I want to go after a potential leadership position in my company. I had some ideas on how I would lead my team, and she poo-pooed the ideas, when the things I am thinking of would make our company and my team much more productive, far better in our skill set, cutting edge and competitive.

I guess what I am getting at is I know I have leadership qualities and skills. I've been a leader in various capacities and I have an ability to inspire, motivate and encourage people. I think I have some great ideas for improvement within my team, and I was super annoyed that my therapist rejected my ideas.

I cannot change therapists easily, but I'm thinking within the new year that perhaps I should.

I think that it awesome about your leadership goals. I don't think you necessarily need to change therapists. Just change your approach regarding the content you share from your personal life with this therapist. Your approach should not be to discuss your career concerns, just your concerns around social situations etc.. and try to avoid anything career related if you can. She does sound like she has a completely opposite personality to yours too, which is definitely a concern.

Why can't you just switch therapists? Insurance reasons?

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche

That's exactly my first thought. Never confide in a therapist about your career aspirations. They are literally in the wrong field to give you any relevant feedback. All therapists deal with is mental health -- not career goals.

I would also start attending networking events in your city for women only. Right there, other women in business roles, can listen to your issues working in an all male environment, and provide you with better guidance than a psychologically trained therapist ever could.

So, I would stop confiding in your therapist right now about your career plans. She is not trained or equipped to give you the feedback or support you could get from a headhunter, or career counselor or life coach who gets certified in how to address career paths.


I think that it awesome about your leadership goals. I don't think you necessarily need to change therapists. Just change your approach regarding the content you share from your personal life with this therapist. Your approach should not be to discuss your career concerns, just your concerns around social situations etc.. and try to avoid anything career related if you can. She does sound like she has a completely opposite personality to yours too, which is definitely a concern.

Why can't you just switch therapists? Insurance reasons?

Thanks, @StreetcarBlanche!

I think I would prefer to switch therapists altogether. She has bugged me on several fronts, and she's just not the right fit.

I believe that I should be able to address my career issues with a therapist because my PTSD and anxiety are interwoven with my career issues. I have a lot of anxiety around work... a LOT. And it's something I'm working on overcoming. So actually, I could still benefit from working with a therapist on how to manage my PTSD and anxiety as they arise while I am at work. And I think being more assertive at work and in general is a developmental issue that a therapist should be able to address with their client.

I can switch therapists, it's just not going to be easy to find one who will see me outside of normal business hours.

I also like the idea of hiring a life coach and attending women's groups. Now I just need to get up the gumption to actually DO it. lol. I get comfortable and lazy after work and all I want to do is chill and rest.. not attend a group or a meeting.

[Open Eyes]

It's very possible that you can do a search on youtube and see if there are youtube videos that cover facing challenges in business/work/careers. It surprising all the how to's that are available on youtube.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

It's very possible that you can do a search on youtube and see if there are youtube videos that cover facing challenges in business/work/careers. It surprising all the how to's that are available on youtube.

Great idea, @Open Eyes! Love that notion. I go to YouTube often for self-help. I think I should also read up on leadership and how to be an effective and strong leader. Also, on how to manage a toxic boss, and work around yet in harmony with him. lol.

[Have Hope]

In thinking on it more and absorbing it more, I am in fact angry at my therapist for poo-pooing my ideas on how to lead my team. Rather than supporting me and applauding me for even wanting to lead the team, she has to put down my ideas and reject them, thereby making me feel inadequate, when in fact I am not at all inadequate. I think I have great ideas and great solutions that will resolve several of the company's problems. She is a naysayer, as was stated before. And I'm angry at ALL the naysayers in my life who have tried to discourage me from realizing my true potential by putting me down and by squelching my enthusiasm. I know I have some good ideas.... and they're not just MY ideas, they're being implemented by other more competitive companies! Grr. I'm angry.

[Open Eyes]

Well, a therapist has to be careful about advising in work situations. There is a risk that a patient can accuse the therapist if they lose their job because they felt they tried what the therapist advised and it did not work and resulted in them being fired.

[winter4me]

Originally Posted by Have Hope

Another case in point:

I told my therapist that my whole team needs official training, translating to a certification course in our field of practice. My therapist told me that my team may not WANT to complete a training course, and so I shouldn't make it mandatory IF I was promoted to be the team's leader. This was one of my ideas that she shot down.

I said to her, well, we're all required to get certified each year in one area of our work, and we're required to complete THAT training, so why not require the team to complete an additional training in our area of work that will make each person an expert, it will accelerate everyone's skill set, and it will create a standard in our field of practice for all to follow?

Not only that, but this will help our WHOLE company to be far more cutting edge AND thus competitive with other companies.

Here's a perfect quote I found that spells out the difference between my therapist's perspective and mine:



Yes, I must change therapists and SOON. She is going to create self-doubt, and I don't want to listen to her. She will hold me back.... I cannot allow that.

@sarahsweets, you're right. It's toxic for me.

You value critical thinking and education/training/accountability---that your t seems not to ("they may not want to"...?!) value. Do not let yourself be held back.