How can I change our relationship around?

I have been going out with my g/f for a little over six months now...and I dunno how much longer it will run...if anyone can help me with how I can prevent us from breaking up, I would really appreciate it.

Things between my g/f and I...i don't know how to put it in one word. Our relationship has been the slowest thing i have ever seen. Basically, I think that she doesn't want to keep a relationship with me.

We live 6 miles apart, which is around a 10-minute drive, and we go to different schools. We are both in 10th grade(I know it is only high school but I know she is the one for me.). Even though we live so close to each other, on average we see(not exactly do something with) each other once every 2/3 weeks. We actually do something once every 3/4 weeks. Whenever we do something though, it is always out of the house. Sure it is good to go to the movies, but not when that is the only time i do something with her just about. I try as hard as I can everyday for us to do something together, but it never works out. Her family is always going to another family's place for dinner or having a family go over their house for dinner(but it's never ours...). She is in 4 honors classes and 4 clubs at school, so she seems to be very busy.

But a lot of things get to me. Last week I found out she doesn't like to do things with only one other person, or go to someone's house. I asked if that is partially why it has been 6 months and we only went to eachother's house once, and she said yes. But after knowing this, she talks about staying the night at a friend's house or having people go over her house to do stuff.

I noticed that a lot of this "irony(i guess you can say)" has been going on. There has been times before where she said she can do something, but ends up doing something else with friends. Like when she asked if I wanted to go to the movies, she later said she had to do something else and went with a friend of hers(girl). One time I was left hanging around an arcade where she said she would meet me(she ended up shopping with her mom). And she promised to see me this christmas...but she never did .

She says she loves me, most of the time, but I do not know if she means it. She knows that how little we see each other really gets me depressed(big time), or at least it should be obvious, but she never tries to get us to see each other anymore. It is only me making the effort. She doesn't talk to me about stuff much anymore either. She shares just as much info with friends and she does with me. Does she not trust me to keep something? She says she does.

The main thing that concerns me is that she doesn't know if she wants to be with me forever anymore. She said that our outcome is unpredictable. Is it possible to truly love someone if you do not even know if you want to be with them forever? I try to figure out what it is about me she doesn't like and I do get anywhere. It isn't because we are an interracial couple or of my family or of my personality, I don't think. Whenever I try to talk to her about this kind of stuff, she usually tries to change the subject or puts ... , I do not get it.

I've pretty much shown that we talk 95% of the time over the internet. If we saw eachother more than once every 3/4 weeks, we would talk in person also. And over the phone, we can't start a conversation, there is always something happening.

Is there anyway that I can make her change her obvious-views towards us? She is the one I love, she means everything to me. I have nothing to look foward for in life without her. If something were to happen to us, I would probably die of depression(I heard it's possible). She isn't a bad person(even though I probably made it seem like that :-\). What can I do to have her truly love me the way I love her?

I understand that you are hurting but from the things you wrote it seems to me that this girl is not ready for any kind of commitment. I know you feel that she is the perfect girl for you but you would be amazed at how much your taste in women will change within the next few years. I would suggest that you try to find other things that you are interested in doing instead of waiting around on this girl to have time for you. The more interests and activities that you are involved in, the more interesting you become to other people. You can't change this girl, but you can change yourself. Try to move on and stop holding on to someone who obviously doesn't feel the same way you do. Change is hard but it is one of the only things about life that we can be sure of. My thoughts are with you.

Some people are like cats. Have you ever noticed that when you really want to pet a cat, the cat tends to ignore you and walk off. But when you ignore the cat it wants ever so much to be petted. It stands at your feet and meows and claws your leg to get your attention.

Perhaps she is a cat. If that is the case you need to go out and start doing things with your friends. Tell her what fun you had doing this or that or the other thing. Meanwhile don't ask her to do anything. I know this is hard to do when you are head over heals in love with someone but doing this will have 2 affects one is you will get out of the house and start enjoying yourself instead of waiting on someone who isn't treating you nice at all. And 2 you are sending a strong message that if she wishes to keep this relationship going then she is going to have to make some kind of effort.

I feel that you should prepare yourself for the possibility that you will not be with this girl forever. I know it FEELS like it could be the end of your existance but it won't be. I feel the same way when I have to separate from someone I cared for. It feels like a part of me is dying. It hurts so much. But I am now 35, I have gone through this pain many times and I am still here. I suffer from depression but I have pulled through. You will too. I spent 2 years in highschool pining over my ex-boyfriend. I hurt so bad. Then he graduated and went away. In my last year of highschool I met my husband. We have been together ever since. I thought my ex was going to be "the one" but I was wrong.
Zen

<font color=green>The snow falls on no two trees alike, and the forms it assumes are as various as those of the twigs and leaves which recieve it...so one divine spirit decends alike on all, but bears a peculiar fruit in each--Henry David Thoreau

I admire you for all your efforts to get your relationship in the right track, you're trying, trying..you have a great energy about you, you took the effort to describe in detail exactly the kind of advice you need and expect. It scares me what you write in the end.."If something were to happen to us, I would probably die of depression.." and also, "I have nothing to look forward for in life without her.." These blanket statements scare me. True love doesn't complete you, it comes from two people who feel whole on their own, coming together and sharing, slowly, little things about themselves, and gradually a little more, all the while maintaining who they are and what they know about themselves. What do you know about you? College plans? Dreams? Interests? You definately write well. And it definately will hurt, especially your first love, it just kills when it ends, please post and let me know how you are doing now, I just noticed the date and much of your life has gone by. I'm curious how you're doing, Augusta

Someone... woah..... come on now... slllllowwwwwwwww down my friend. I know that love acn be very powerful when you are young. It was a while ago, but I was young once. You are still a child turning into a man. You need to give yourself time to mature and discover yourself. You need to discover yourself, who you are, and what you want before you can even consider what it is that you want from a life partner. You are placing WAY to much pressure on yourself and on this young lady. Relax, have fun together, date otehr people. Take the pressure off and you may find that you will spend even more time with her.

The facts are pretty clear .... people that marry young are much more likely to be divorced. It takes time to mature and figure out what you want. Not surprisingly people that wait until their late 20s to marry are more likley to have a long lasting marriage.

You may think this young lady is "the one". And, who knows, she may be. But, even if she is the one placing this much pressure on her will surely push her away. Back off. Be friends. If you enjoy each other's company a great friendship is a wonderful thing. Treasure that. But, be sure to date other people along the way. That is the only way you are going to know if you are making the correct choice for the rest of your life. Take the time and do it right.