Seeking Relationship Advice

MF,

Sounds like you can do a lot better for yourself! I'm not sure how long you've been with him but sometimes we forget who we are when in a controlling relationship. Personally based solely on the little information you've shared... I'd recommend a clean break. Only consider the possibility of a friendship down the road a bit. Sounds to me like he may have a problem with taking NO for an answer. He may continue to pursue you with his sights on the bedroom for a while.

Maybe take this opportunity to focus on yourself, reflect on your loss, and remind yourself that you are a whole and a complete person without him.

Chalk this relationship up as a learning experience. Now you know a few things what you don't want in a partner :-)

Thanks, mckell. That "whole and complete person" thing isn't coming so easily yet, but I felt that way before we were together, so I know I will again. It's only been about 7, eh, almost 8 months.

Hm... wish I'd considered the potential initials in choosing this screen name...

haha! MF! I just got that.

sorry im kind of late in responding to your post and im sorry to hear about your father.

sounds to me like he has many issues to deal with before he can really be a loving person. he does just enough to keep you around for sex but not enough to show you that he cares.

you should read this book called The Road Less Traveled. In the section on Love, it speaks directly about people who treat their significant others like that. Maybe if you had been together longer and he showed any want to change his ways it might be different. Its hard to watch someone not be able to mature past a certain point but they can only change and grow as a person if they truly want to. If he does some soul searching and becomes open to the idea of trying to grow as a person maybe there could be a chance. But by the posts I have been reading I doubt it. Seems to me like if people don't grow up by a certain time and they show no incentive to do so, its not going to happen. My dad is like a 57 year old teenager. Im sorry you had to go through all of that right after losing your father. its probably better to deal with it on your own then dealing with that plus your ex being so cold to you.

((((mental floss))))

Marshall Fields? http://fieldsfanschicago.org/

Mrs. Fields? http://www.mrsfields.com

Massey Ferguson? http://www.masseyferguson.com/

Main Floor?

Magnum Force? http://www.amazon.com/Magnum-Force-C.../dp/B00005NTNN

Mutual Fund?

My Friends?

MF (couldn’t resist),

My sincere condolences on the loss of your father; we went threw that a couple of years ago (three for me losing my father, and 2 for hubby losing his mother). I really do know what you’re going through and I am so glad that you seem to be dealing with things in a healthy way.

Secondly, WELCOME TO PC. As you’ve seen here there are a lot of wonderfully helpful people on this site. It’s very nice to meet you! FYI Perna is the go to gal for websites, she can find ANYTHING.

Thirdly, YEAAAAA MF for kicking him to the curb. I was a little behind on my reading in the forums, so while I scrolled through the postings it was like reading a suspense novel unfold. I really screamed YEA when I read that you dumped him (family looked at me a bit odd, but they should be used of it by now). Hold fast, he took you for granted and was not there when you needed him, unforgivable imo.

To suggest you overreacted!!!! OMG, he’s SO lucky he’s never met the likes of me! I do believe I would have at least ripped the phone cord out of the wall and threw the phone in the trash before leaving; and that would be on a good day. I can’t tell you what I’d do with the cord and the phone on a bad day.

I just have to say I’m so proud of you! Keep it up, you’re an inspiration!

Oh, call me MF, everyone, it's fine, I'm getting a kick out of it. A little humor is very welcome just now!

Thanks, salukigirl, for the thoughtful response and suggestion. I did a stint in a bookstore, lo these many years ago, and The Road Less Traveled was a consistent seller - I've always meant to take a look at it and never quite got around to it. That's probably a really good idea.

Perna and AAAAA, too funny... I'm so glad I stumbled upon this site. Everyone has been so warm and caring. That is especially welcome right now as I don't feel I can dump too much of this relationship stuff on those close to me, as they are also dealing with the loss of my father. It's really great to have found such a supportive place to blow off some steam - and find the funny.

"Like reading a suspense novel unfold," I love it. Yes, I will hold fast. Thank you.

Haven't heard anything from him today. Maybe it finally clicked.

LOL....just read your last post...I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying....so not intentional ...SORRY!