[dragonphoto]

I am posting this as a long shot because I do not even know if you still read my posts...but here we go. I am posting this in hopes that you will read it and that i

[SeptemberMorn]

I read it! What didn't you say? Don't know whether to laugh or cry for you.

[AlteredState01]

How cryptic....

[dragonphoto]

it seems that part of it is missing....

[dragonphoto]

Actually a large majority of it...it posted twice on the board and I deleted one of them not sure where the rest of this one went...not trying to be cryptic I had this little paragraph typed up about how she is my best friend and the reasons for it and how she is a wonderful mother to our children and how she is my wife...I wonder if destiny is trying to tell me something...or is that too cryptic?

[youOme]

ooops...seems to be tech situation.

[AlteredState01]

Um, almost afraid to ask...

But what is it that you think is destiny or a dream? Your wife?

[dragonphoto]

It is just one of those things...I believe that we are pre-destined to end up at the end of a path (even being a Christian I can believe this) but we have the free will to chose which fork in the road we travel. You have to wonder (or I do) was I destined to be with my wife...or am I dreaming that we will be together...wow that even seems pretty cryptic. I know I love her and I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but am I supposed to?

[sabby]

dragonphoto...I so believe the same thing about destiny yet the free will to choose how we get there and on what paths we will take along the journey.

If you feel in your gut that you and your wife belong together, then you must continue down whatever paths there are to get to that point. It may be that her paths are running pararell to yours at the moment so as not to be intersecting. It may be that they will at some point intersect...yet they may not. I believe you will know this when the time is right for you to know.

In other words....right now you are following the path you should be....there are lessons to be learned along that path. Once those lessons are learned, things will be clearer to you. Your wife is also following her path and learning her lessons as well. Confusing sometimes isn't it??

There is also the thought that some people come into our lives to help us and don't always stay. Their job is not to stay yet to teach us what we are supposed to learn. If this is the case with you and your wife, you will know it when the time is right. I'm not saying that this is goingt to happen, but it is a possibility don't you think?

Follow your heart, your gut and your mind. Find a way to combine them to make the most sense for you.


sabby

[dragonphoto]

The problem with following my heart, gut and mind is they are all saying different things...so confused.

[SeptemberMorn]

Which one is yelling the loudest, Dragon? Listen to it and then logically think it out. Is it doable? Is it right for this time in your life?

[sabby]

I agree with Septi's comments. I think there is something to be taken from each of those that are telling you things. I have found that there usually is a balance that can be found.....even if it only means that I feel comfortable with taking one path or another and am willing to accept the outcome as it comes.

Acceptance of the possibilities of different outcomes is what helps us deal with them when/if they come about. It doesn't mean that we have to like the possible outcome, but we can at least prepare for it so it doesn't knock us off our feet.


sabby

Dragonphoto..... struggling with wanting to know our destiny or turn our dreams into destiny is our classic struggle as humans. You're not alone in your impatience, your heartbreak and your fear. You're not alone in wanting to know what the future hold for you and the one you love. You're not alone in having to wait on another to know their own mind, thoughts, desires, will.....

You have had to put your love for your wife in a quiet place for what feels like an eternity to you dragonphoto. It is your primary pre-occupation. You want to let it out and celebrate it and share it with the world. But you know you can't. You've been asked by your wife to keep it in check and give it more time. Time. What do you do with the time? How do you cope waiting and wondering and hoping and praying? How do you retain your faith and hope without loosing your mind in the process? What do you do with all these loving feelings that you can't express?

You want to do something in a time when you are asked to do nothing. How frustrating and crazy making is that my friend. It doesn't get harder than that. It just doesn't get harder than the pain and frustration of holding your heart's desires in check.

But you've been doing just that dragonphoto. You've been honouring the boundaries your wife put in place for a time. She hasn't divorced you so she is still investing time into your relationship. You are honouring her needs for space and time and understanding. She is determining the pace of your reunion. She is determining how much she can trust you or how much love she can give back to you at any point in time. She is the only one who can determine when she is ready. When she feels her family is ready. She is a mother first if she is anything like most women and she is careful to contaminate their world again without some certainty it will be good for them. Not another roller coaster ride but a good environment for her children. The same things you want. A safe, stable and loving home for your children. If in your wife's eyes you still represent a threat to her children's (your children's) environment she is going to continue to be cautious. You need to respect that even if it means waiting longer than you seem able to wait.

You can do whatever you put your mind to dragonphoto. You need to have your priorities straight first so that you focus your mind on what is most important.

In your case your children are what is most important. Supporting your wife to provide the best home for your children. No one will deny that having you in that home, safe and healthy and contributing as head of household is everyone's dream. To make that dream come true you have to be ready to do your part. Are you ready dragonphoto? Does your wife think you are ready? What will determine your readiness? What do you have to do to prove to yourself and your wife that you are ready. What do you need to do to be ready. This is where you need to focus your energies.

Work on your recovery, become healthy enough to rejoin your family and in time they will see it and begin to trust it and gradually make more room for you.

They love you dragonphoto of that there is no doubt. You know they love you and want you well. Getting well is your priority. Getting well enough to be the man you want to be, the father you want to be and the husband you want to be.

Set your prayers into the universe everyday and work towards becoming well enough again to live out your destiny. Live out your dream.

I happen to think they are often one and the same thing. We dream our destiny. We pray them into reality. One humble and generous and self-actualized step at a time.

Patience dear friend..... patience, a daily commitment and plan for recovery. It takes time to recover our health and our lives before the illness took over. It will take time dragonphoto. Just a little more time.

You just came out of the holiday season and your patience is running thin. I can appreciate that. Wish there was more I could do than appreciate how you must be feelings. I wish I could carry some of the burden for you. Just long enough for you to regain your determination. Just long enough for you to remember how far you've come. Just long enough for you to regain your hope and your faith that things will work out for you and your family.

Hope I haven't overspoken..... if I don't make any sense than ignore me. I'm praying for your peace dragonphoto. Peace be with you.

[Perna]

I don't see the two as being opposite one another and I don't hear "intent" mentioned.

You can "miss" destiny by choice or by not paying attention but also can get there by serendipitous happenings that one doesn't expect. But one has to be facing where one wants to go, know what one wants (that is one's to want -- can't want someone else to want one, for example, you may not be their destiny) and going in that direction if you expect to get to the "end". I don't believe in ends though, one doesn't ride off into the sunset happily ever after or die, go to Heaven, and sit on a cloud strumming a harp for Eternity.

I think one has to imagine and dream about what one wants but then going toward it as well as one is able is the next step. There is no "magic" involved where Destiny literally grabs you from some other path and slings you over to this one you've never imagined or anything. Yes you may end up with Person B when you thought you wanted Person A but you'll meet them at some junction where you got by shanks mare, not magic.

[dragonphoto]

Chocolate you are right I have been asked to take my emotions and put them a box the only problem is I have never been able to do that...I have always worn my heart on my sleeve and that is going to change...

This box is going to hold my love for my wife safe and strong...until she decides that it is time for that reunion. I am ready to be back with my family and my kids are ready for me to be back with them...however the most important person is not ready and until she is I must respect her wishes. The problem is I run my mouth way too much (emotionally) because I am lonely and I want someone to talk to...before I did not really talk to my wife nor did I listen...now I can talk and listen...but I am not hearing what is really needed. You are right she has not divorced me and maybe she is making an investment in our relationship...So that all being said...no more of my posts will be about my relationship. I have put the chain around that box...and I am going to look at my path...and even if I stumble I will pick myself back up and keep down that path carrying that box on my back.

Not sure you want to carry it on your back like a burden... how about a love letter in your pocket right next to your heart.

Hold on to the dream while you focus on being the best man, the best dad, the best 'husband in waiting' you have in your heart to be. Work within your circle of concern and influence.

One never knows where our journey will take us as we stand up and see the world full of opportunities. Unbroken and complete in our authenticity we have eyes to see and ears to hear what direction our destiny is taking us.

No matter what dragonphoto I pray your children know the joys and blessings of having the best dad you can be in their lives. Good dad's are hard to come by.... so are good mom's...... we have to determine to be good parents and keep it our priority or in the wink of an eye they are adults going to therapy because of their childhood. What goes around comes around. Let's do our part to make our children's childhood happy and healthy as best we can.

Take good care of you dragonphoto.... your kids need you well. Your destiny needs you well. You are an inspiration to determination. Your accomplishments are cause for encouragement and great hopes.

[dragonphoto]

Thank you very much...I am going to do that.

Be careful not to go too far the other way either dragonphoto. Let your feelings about reunion be clear without them getting in the way.

Kids love to see their dad bring their mom flowers or do special things for their mom. And mom's love the special attention to their femininity and needs too. Small steps, small gestrures and reminders of your love and affection should always be in the mix. In my humbled opinion.

It's one thing to be accepting while remaining eager for more. Its another to be accepting and giving up on having more. The former is filled with hope and prepares oneself for every opportunity... the latter sees defeat and is blind to any opportunity.

Stay well........

[Irine]

I have been reaidng a lot of ths CwG books later..
They say it si ALL your choice. not always concious though.

sometimes things seem not exactly what you wanted but your soul attracts to it whatever it needs for the goal of DEVELOPING......that`s all what life is for.

Pray. Trust.

How they say it...."There is only 1 question:
What would love do right now?"

What a great guide....'what would love do right now?' Thanks for posting Lady..... simply about authentic love being our ultimate guide to truth and wisdom and edifying deeds.

Blessings........

[Irine]

It`s from "Conversations With God" by Neal Donald Wlasch

Thanks lady.... I'm going to find a copy.

How ya doing dragonphoto..... sending you good energy and friendship.