Sure could use a hug

Well I have dealt with alot this past months and had to do alot of thinking and deciding. My decision is to move back to America and get a divorce.
I told my husband today. I feel like someone has died. I do care for him and I know he loves me but our marriage foundation is based on fairytales and half truths and there is nothing for us to build on. He is not a giving person and there is no way I can make it here in Norway without his understanding and support. The best thing for me is to move back home.
I won't have much money if any (depends on what he can help me with) and I don't have a place to stay (my cousin rented out "my room" and I don't have a car to get back and forth to the job I don't have. I don't even know where I will come up with the money to get a plane ticket. I am scared.
I keep trying to rememeber that once I get back there are people who will understand, help me and be there. I am also trying not to think too much into it. Just figuring how to get there and where I am going is enough. I'll deal with the rest when I need to.
Anyway,, that's what's been up with me and why I have been distancing myself lately.
My husband is shocked and it's a bit awkward not having anywhere to go until I can get stuff worked out. He's being decent and I sure he will continue that but I think it's gonna take some time to sink in.
Hugs anyone? I really could use some.
Heidu

((((((((((heidu))))))))))

You've made a big decision, but I'm sure you'll get through it ok...from some of the things you have said before, I know you have the strength to get through anything.

***More hugs for heidu***
mj

Oh Heidu...don't ask me why but I just felt inside that this is what was going on with you. I have never sensed that you were truly comfortable with your situation. I know your decision didn't come easy and has taken it's toll on you. But you have to do what you feel is right for you now. Just take it one step at a time.

I don't know what part of the states you'd be coming back to, but if you want to PM me and let me know and it happens to be close to me, I'm sure my wife and I would be glad to give you a place to stay until you could get back on your feet. You'd even have a computer to use so you could stay in touch with the rest of the gang . Think it over and if you'd rather not, I'll certainly understand. I just hate to think about you being out there with nowhere to go.

((((((Big Hugs))))))
bp

"A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart."

Heidu,
Here's a whole bunch of them
** HUGS ** ** HUGS** ** HUGS ** ** HUGS ** ** HUGS **
and a smile too

"darkeyes"

Thanks everyone. I really need and appreciate your support.
Heidu

If this is the decision you have made, then I'm backing you all the way matie. Just think of the positives. You will get a job again, and a car, you'll be with friends and family and will find a place called home.
Your always welcome to fly by Australia u know

I'm sending you a billion hugs. One for every second of the day so that you can feel a little comfort at this time.
Love ya
*snuggle hugs x a billion*
And here's a little angel to watch over you


It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves. C.G Jung

Heidu, I'm sending you some more extra big hugs

((((((((((Heidu))))))))))

*******Heidu*******

{{{{{{{{Heidu}}}}}}}}

((((((heidu))))))

wishing you all the best.

*HUGS*

Hugs and wishes for a better future. I pray you have all you need financially in the coming months to get started. *********HUGS**********

It's a wild world, but someone's gotta ride it!

Thanks again everyone. You words, hugs and encouragment mean alot to me right now.
I sent emails to everyone back home this morning (my morning). I also called my mom. Luckily for me she is up way too early so I talked to her at her 5am. She never knew anything was wrong. She was very understanding and told me to come home. Of course she doesn't have money or a place for me to stay but she has hugs. She also hinted about us getting a place together. That I will have to deal with later cause I could never live with her. The one family member that I am afraid to see is my brother because he si not nice to me and I don't need it right now BUT as luck would have it, he is a little off and has put himself to a vow of silence. It's sad but I don't have to deal with him.
I am expecting some emails in the next few days and I will know about what kind of help I will get and how it will be.
As much as this hurts I know I am making the right choice.
I was invited by a friend here to stay at her place and use her car while she is out of town for the next two weeks. She also said I could stay as long as needed. What a godsend for me. I will go tomorrow evening and stay there.
I am scared and I know this is going to be the hardest few weeks in my life but I will be okay and I am not alone.
I haven't told my friend Betty yet. She saved my life and has been such a good friend. She also needed a friend and we just clicked. I ahve never known anyone like her. I am hoping to tell her soon but I hate that I have too. I will miss her dearly.
Well enough for now. Thank you again fro being here for me. I really need it right now.
I will still have access to a comp so I will keep in touch.
Heidu

((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))

i've read this string a few times...all i can think is wow! and how i wish i could help you out somehow. (((Huggs)))

Thanks AGAIN everyone.
I am confused. My cousin who originally guaranteed me a plane ticket and place to stay has taken a roommate and also doesnt have the money to get me a ticket. Its not her fault and I dont blame her. She isnt responsible for me but I was hoping.
I have gotten words of support from people back home but no offer of help except from one brother who will let me use his old car. It's not looking too good for me right now.
My husband did say he will do what he can to find some money to get me home and get started but that might not pan out either.
My husband has "seen the light" and is begging me to stay. It's so strange cause for once he's doing all the talking. I am pretty confused. Of course I wanted this marriage to work and still wish it could. But it's been 2 years of hell and nothing I said, did or didn't ever changed a thing. Now I believe he might make some changes but then I have to remind myself that he might not. He really has said some things that mean to me that he does understand stuff but follow thru is the problem.
Well, I have time to see since I am stuck here so I guess thats all I can do. I am a little scared of getting my heart broken again. I am alot scared of that actually.
I'll stop babbling now. Glad your all here!!
Heidu

((((HEIDU))))
I am sorry you are stuck in a bad situation. I wonder what caused the change in your cousin's offer? Maybe she thought she had more money than she really did. Sometimes my heart is bigger than my wallet. Maybe she's like that too. I hope so anyway. I hope you can get home soon. I wish I could encourage you one way or the other about your husband, but I am not good at that kind of thing. I have seen things go both ways. Sometimes people change, sometimes they don't. I wish it were possible to know ahead of time. By the time a person is ready to leave, it seems like it is too late to mend a marriage. A ticket home would at least get you out of the environment long enough to get a grasp on the situation and make an objective decision. I wish you peace and the best outcome possible.

Willow

In the words of St. Francis of Assisi when he met Brother Dominic on the road to Umbria - "HI".

hugs from me too, I hope that you can get everything figured out soon. I am having a tough time also, but I am very greatful for a nice job (not a huge paying, but enough) and the hope that my b/f and I will get back together. If not, I consider myself a catch - loving and low maintenance! But I prefer him, and I'll hold out for that for a while.