Public record of our relationship

My ex fiancé has at least 4 different accounts of our relationship on social media and he won’t take them down . I’ve been in contact with him recently and nothings changed, he still treats me like ****. I really don’t understand why he has these multiple accounts of us together , and not just me but my family too, yet he refuses to answer his phone and is very derogatory in texts . I reached out to him because I’m trying to make changes in my life and I thought I could rekindle the relationship. Boy was I wrong . He’s just as nasty and spiteful as ever towards me. He keeps telling me how he still loves me , I’m the love of his life, there’s no none else but there’s something wrong with me and I need to change. It’s like wtf? Apparently it doesn’t matter to him that he lives in my city now , only that I’m ****ed up and i need to admit that he’s the one that ended it and not me. I’m quite sure being in contact with him is making me sick because of how he’s interacting with me. There’s a discussion about toxic people wherein it says no such thing exists however I’m finding myself hard pressed not to think that way about my ex fiancé .

This may seem like a blunt response.

Now you know that he hasn't changed, how about getting a strongly worded letter sent to him from a lawyer. There must be some privacy law he's breaching.

Like I really have time to
Do that. Thankfully the only time people find those accounts is if someone shows them to them so. It’s more a personal affront and dismissive of Me.

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It's called playing games on BOTH of your parts. Block the accounts so you won't see them. If no one else sees them then they don't matter. Drama, drama, drama.....if you like it....keep up what you are doing. If you don't, then ONLY YOU have the power to stop doing what you are doing

I didn’t see no one else sees them. I said they’re hard to find in other words a person would have to look . I didn’t say they were private .

And btw there are nosy people in my life now , so I have good reason to be concerned.

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Originally Posted by leomama My ex fiancé has at least 4 different accounts of our relationship on social media and he won’t take them down . I’ve been in contact with him recently and nothings changed, he still treats me like ****. I really don’t understand why he has these multiple accounts of us together , and not just me but my family too, yet he refuses to answer his phone and is very derogatory in texts . I reached out to him because I’m trying to make changes in my life and I thought I could rekindle the relationship. Boy was I wrong . He’s just as nasty and spiteful as ever towards me. He keeps telling me how he still loves me , I’m the love of his life, there’s no none else but there’s something wrong with me and I need to change. It’s like wtf? Apparently it doesn’t matter to him that he lives in my city now , only that I’m ****ed up and i need to admit that he’s the one that ended it and not me. I’m quite sure being in contact with him is making me sick because of how he’s interacting with me. There’s a discussion about toxic people wherein it says no such thing exists however I’m finding myself hard pressed not to think that way about my ex fiancé .

Why would you attempt to rekindle a relationship with somebody that is basically smearing you on social media? I’m not trying to be mean it’s actually a legitimate question. As far as social media unless it is legitimate slander whereas he is damaging your reputation professionally and publicly it’s just nonsense. Your best bet is to block him that way you can’t see what it is that he says about you. People that know you and love you should actually look to you to explain things and if they believe your ex saying all of these different things and how good of relationship do they have with you?

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It’s not slander. It’s a lie. He’s basically saying he loves me when he doesn’t . And it hurts to see it. It’s all positive and he’s refusing reconciliation yet he dismisses my request to take it down. He’s telling the world he loves me when he doesn’t.

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Originally Posted by leomama It’s not slander. It’s a lie. He’s basically saying he loves me when he doesn’t . And it hurts to see it. It’s all positive and he’s refusing reconciliation yet he dismisses my request to take it down. He’s telling the world he loves me when he doesn’t. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

So block it so you can't see it. Only one it really bothers is you. How long ago were those posts actually written? Anyone with half a brain would know they never see him with you & would look at the date & see it is not current.

When we make something out of nothing the only one that gets hurt is us.

Are these all old posts on social media? And he refuses to take them down or he claims you are still in a relationship right now?

It sounds like perhaps he said you were the love of his life when you were two together but he doesn’t bother removing it now (not using the specific site or just can’t care less). Him keeping old post there doesn’t necessarily mean he is making announcements to the world. He isn’t saying he loves you as those are old posts and everyone who wants to look will see it’s old by looking at dates. So who cares. Nosey people could look at the date and come to understanding that those are not current posts

Analyzing your ex after years of not being together doesn’t seem to help you to move on.

No yesterday he told me I’m still the love of his life and his soulmate but there’s something wrong with me and I need to change. Anyways.

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Um it bothers my daughter too as she is also in those pictures. It’s not just a record of our relationship but theirs too. Anyways.

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So Sorry that things are being hard! Please do not give up! i am afraid i must agree with the other wise and wonderful posters abotu simply blocking him. If he isn't doing anything illegal i am not sure if there's something more you can do about that. People can't delete their past but they can learn from it i think. i think moving on may simply be the best option unless he seems REALLY willing to change. At least you haven't actually Married him if i have read that correctly. Hopefully things will improve soon. Stay safe. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @leomama, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

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Originally Posted by leomama No yesterday he told me I’m still the love of his life and his soulmate but there’s something wrong with me and I need to change. Anyways.

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Well I’m dating one and being ignored by the other

So he is not ignoring you any more? What does he see wrong with you that you need to change? That work on yourself might be a good place to start if you truly do want a REAL relationship to grow instead of playing around in the "unavailable" fantasy world you said you would rather have

No I didn’t marry him , he was married then he was homeless and now he’s rejecting me. He doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with him.

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Well he didn’t say I needed to change he said I needed to own all his mistakes . It’s the fantasy world he offered me. He’s never ignored me he’s just not responded to me in a respectful way. He wants me to claim all his misdeeds as my own, like his willful homelessness. I found him a place to live in my county and he abandoned it because I wouldn’t take him back while he was still married.

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If your daughter is a minor you can pursue legal measures to force him to take her pictures down.

This man is bad news and I don’t understand why you keep pursuing him. Nothing good comes out of it

She’s an adult now . I’m still in love with him even though I ended it twice .

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Originally Posted by leomama She’s an adult now . I’m still in love with him even though I ended it twice . Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Why?????

Because I do believe he’s my soulmate . It’s out of my hands.

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I had an ex who insisted he was still in love after I left and I am supposedly his soul mate, he felt he must continue pursuing me, contacting me and trying to get me back. Just because you have feelings, it doesn’t mean you should keep trying to get this person back. He doesn’t sound interested

2 years is a long time. I think you might feel still in love because you don’t put distance between you two. All this just sounds quite miserable

Well he said these things not me. He didn’t say he wasn’t interested either. He said I have to change something , I don’t know what. I’ll try to get clarification.

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There is infact a 100% chance that you don't have to change anything! It's about him, not you. Please don't believe his abusive words.

It’s hard because I’m the one who pushed him to get his diagnosis and now he won’t give me the time of day. He was a peer counselor so I guess for him mental illness is the soup of the day, for me there are very few people I can talk to about it in real life. He seems to have thought I was narcissistic but I could be wrong, that could’ve been his ex wife. I’m in so much pain. I had no idea this wound was so deep. Thank you so much for replying . This site has always been a lifeline for me. I brought him here too but he’s gone now. It’s so ironic that he was helped by the same people that I was helped by and yet he doesn’t acknowledge that connection . He blames his mental breakdown on me when I was just the trigger. It was the same thing I went through with my divorce . That’s a whole different situation , and that man also has a very different story about what happened as I learned recently from my daughter’s boyfriend . I just for once would like to be on the same page as my partner in other words have a true partner . I guess I am not ready yet . I thought I was and apparently there is even more work I need to do on myself . I really miss my sobriety sponsor. I think she’s passed on. She used to talk to me about partnership .

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I think your choice in men is very unfortunate. And sad. There is nothing wrong with wanting true partner. But men you choose are not and will not be true partners. You can’t keep on trying to change these wrong partners into what you want them to be. It’s not happening. What you see is what you get. And what you see is no good. Neither your ex husband nor this ex in question nor current boyfriend will ever be true partners. They are not right men for that. I am sorry but that’s just what it is

I think when you meet new men you need to evaluate if they are quality partners before you get serious or even consider dating them, let alone engage or marry

The one who you call my current boyfriend came highly recommended to me by many people as a very intelligent person with good values who treats women well, who also has a drinking and smoking problem which I made clear to him I would not tolerate anymore. And people speak highly publicly of my ex fiancé . And people like my ex husband too cause he’s fun.

How do you suggest I evaluate someone as a quality partner?

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