I let him back in and now I am kicking myself

Well you never know. He could be a stranger and you wouldn’t even know he sleeps with hookers. Good luck with finalizing divorce. Your divorce papers would probably be fairly easy as there are no assets. Check if you don’t owe him anything.

Thanks everyone!! I read through each page carefully and then signed. No surprises.

Now my husband is in the emergency room with heart flutters and dizziness. He messaged me and broke down, being all melodramatic telling me if he dies will I take his cats. His EKG was normal.

Day 3 of no smoking! I am doing fine with it. I do have a very bad cold which contributes to not wanting to smoke, but I am happy about quitting. And soon, I will add exercise, once I get over my cold and once I can afford the fees.

So, I do need some advice....

My husband looks to me as someone to lean on in his time of need. Like, yesterday when he went to the emergency room for heart palpitations, he contacted me, crying about it.

I have signed the divorce papers and so has he. The lawyer is filing for divorce today sometime, and I will receive a confirmation that we have filed sometime in the next week.

There is now zero reason for my husband and I to be in touch.

And I want it to be that way - I do not want to be the person he goes to every time he has an issue. How do I say this to him? Or do I not say anything and just stop replying? Or block him again? What is the best approach? I showed him some amount of compassion yesterday when he went to the emergency room. But I do not want this to continue.

Block him everywhere and if he bypasses the blocks, just ignore every attempt at contacting you, he'll get the message

Same as if he asks one of his friends to get in touch with you, just say you want no contact with him then do not respond to anything else from his friends

No need to say anything to him because it will just be yet another back and forth. Just don’t reply or block.

Half of the things he says are exaggerations or lies anyways. You don’t really know if it’s truly time of need or yet another lie. He went to ER for dizziness. I hope he won’t send you his medical bill to cover. Last time you broke up he claimed some other emergency condition. In reality he just did too much cocaine (possibly his current dizziness and heart fluttering it what are also drug or withdrawal induced). I’d not trust anything he says. You also do not know if you are the only person he’s contacting.

This is not the case of needing to be there but someone. He’s manipulative and dishonest. No need to feel obligated to be “there”

No need to say anything - block him if you need to or just make any text from him silent if you want but NO CONTACT. He fired you from the job of shoulder to lean on with his behavior.

You all make great points. He is dishonest and does exaggerate. And who knows what his heart flutters are caused by? Could be drugs again. And I am no longer that person for him - not anymore. Ok, I'll just handle it as it arises. I won't reply and I'll block him.

Day 4 - no smoking.

I agree.

Awesome. Try a lollipop

I’m trying not to substitute. I’m also trying not to eat more. My goals are to quit smoking and lose weight. Normally people eat more once they quit smoking. I’m trying to avoid that. It’s hard. I’m breaking some very bad habits: emotional/stress eating and smoking.

The whole forum loves a Have Hope

Okay. My sister has used lollipops on the past to try to stop smoking.

I'm using the patch to help.

I stayed in all weekend. I was supposed to go out last night to hear a band, but I didn't want to go alone. Plus I don't want to be tempted to smoke. So I stayed home. What a boring weekend. It's times like these that I wish I still had a partner.

I am addressing several issues at once and I did not anticipate how hard it would be. I have had an eating disorder in the past, so I am avoiding doing any emotional eating because I am dieting. I am quitting smoking, and typically when people quit, they want to eat instead. I practically don't know what to do with myself. So I am working on calming my nerves on my own. This is definitely challenging, without my typical vices. I aim to add exercise in a week or two, after my cold is gone and when I am up for it.

At least you will never wonder, 'what if'. I know you have regrets but you would also have had regrets not giving him snother chance. At least now you KNOW and I hope that you can move out soon.

Possibly the American Lung Association has suggestions about helping you stay away from smoking?

I used to smoke to simply fill time. So I’m trying to fill the time up otherwise.

Quitting smoking is tough. I tried twice and failed the first time, second time it worked. I was counting days of not smoking on a calendar. A day, two, a week, a month and then after few months I lost count. Do I still want to smoke? Sure. But I don’t and I won’t. It’s the best thing I did for myself to not smoke anymore. When I quit, I started to drink more coffee, not intentionally, just replacing a routine. They recommend things like baby carrots. Like you eat, but not bad foods.

As about wanting a partner. Nothing wrong with that. But you don’t need one to go out or do things. I went out twice this week, once with my women’s group from meetup and the other with two girlfriends. I could go today too if I wanted to but my husband is finally off this weekend.

When I was younger I sometimes dated because I wanted company. I finally figured out you don’t need to date to have social life. If I figured it out earlier it would save me a headache of dating wrong men. Two of my best girlfriends have never been married and do not date at all but they are out and about.

Having said that, sometimes we need a weekend at home. Especially if not feeling well. Your body needs rest

I’ve been munching on carrots every day. I’ve tried to quit many times. I want to cave and give in soo badly but I won’t. I haven’t joined any meetups yet. I still plan on it.

And yes, I needed to recoup I guess this wkend.

i'm confused now, munching on carrots and wanting to quit, you mean quit smoking or quit eating carrots? sorry its confused me genuinely cause its in the same sentence

Quitting cigarettes, not eating carrots.

*cheers Have Hope on, about quitting cigarettes*

That a good idea