Dating After Abuse and Dealing With Life Changes

So, back to this inheritance money...

I asked my lawyer for a copy of my husband's financial statement. If he doesn't send it to me, it will say something.

I had told the judge at the divorce hearing that I had read my husband's financial statement, but I didn't. I was mistaken. My brain must have been scrambled. I looked in my emails and saw that I never received it by email, and I don't recall reading it or being offered to read it in the lawyer's office the day I went in to sign the divorce paperwork.

My sister says that spiritually speaking, I shouldn't want any of my husband's inheritance, because it rightfully belongs to my husband. And I agree with this stance.

However, IF he did hide this from me, I will be irate. Does that mean I will try and go after some of this money now? I mean, I already erroneously told the judge I had read his financial statement. If the inheritance is included in this statement, then I don't have a leg to stand on. But if it's omitted, I might. There is a space in the financial statement for "Pending Inheritance".

I am not a money grubbing gold digger, but the thought of him pulling the wool over my eyes to hide this money from me makes me ill to my stomach... like he just got away with something HUGE, when I am struggling financially simply to live and survive.

On top of this, my lawyer had advised me NOT to tell the judge that I lost my job. He led me down the wrong path! I SHOULD have told the judge that my finances had changed since completing my own financial statement back in Dec... WHY did I listen to the lawyer, who is my husband's good friend?

I was seriously poorly advised... and I am kicking myself.

What if I could have gotten financial support through the divorce so that I can live and make ends meet without going further into debt and dealing with all this stress and pressure???

I am SO angry at myself for not being smarter and more self protective..... I feel SO incredibly STUPID. And my husband is probably grinning from ear to ear, thinking that I am SO STUPID.

My abuse advocate will connect me to free legal services next Tue. I need to speak with a different lawyer about all this. I. need to get to the bottom of it. I need to know my legal rights.

"CAN YOUR SPOUSE LAY CLAIM TO ASSETS YOU MIGHT INHERIT IN THE FUTURE?

Even more surprising to many people is the fact that the potential for a future inheritance must also be considered in a divorce in Massachusetts. If there’s a chance that one of the individuals may inherit a substantial amount in future income or assets, the other spouse may have a right to some of that future value."

Is My Spouse Entitled To My Family Inheritance In A Divorce?

I am SEETHING over this..... I am seeing blood red right now....

do you have the same attorney? both paid him? good thing you are getting a second opinion to put your mind at ease before the divorce is final.

That’s why you need your own attorney not shared and certainly not your husband’s good friend. I hope you get to the bottom of it with a different lawyer

Interesting article. Did he inherit the money (his mother's cash and possessions that were given to him in a will or through intestate probate ruling) or was this insurance beneficiary money (a payout from an insurance policy - no will needed)?

The article says that inheritance may be considered, not it's a guarantee. It only makes sense to fight for inherited money if you KNOW you won't receive any inherited money of your own in the future or inheritances are likely extrely disproportionate.

Equitable doesn't mean equal. You won't get half his inheritance without giving up half of your future inheritance from your family members. Equitable means you both give up your rights of inheritance in divorce. Equal means you both split everything 50 50.

Beneficiary money (an insurance payout) is different. My ex husband's father created a trust before he died. The trust was the beneficiary of an insurance policy. The only benficiaries of the trust are grandchildren. Ex husband's mother inherited his estate (cash, stuff etc). The trust is managed by a third party to keep his own children from getting money he intended for his grandchildren.

You really do need your own lawyer who specializes in family law. It's great that you are finally going to get the exact legal advice you need for your specific situation. I know things are difficult right now. But the bigger picture has your past and future in it. A lawyer can help you protect your bigger picture and not just the stuff right now.

You will get through all this in time. You aren't stupid, you were overly trusting and poorly informed in the past. Now you know this and are taking steps to fix it. That's not stupid, it's personal growth.

I am on "Just Answer" talking to a lawyer now for $5.

I searched this information for your state, MA- “ Can my spouse's lawyer represent both of us? It is unethical as a conflict of interest for one attorney to represent both parties in a divorce. Each party needs to be represented by unbiased independent counsel of their own choosing. The only exception is where the attorney is acting as a mediator.”

That was a waste of time and money.. he told me to seek local legal advice and representation.

Many lawyers will give you a free consultation. I strongly advise you to call first thing Monday morning.

Our attorney we hired as a mediator. It's documented in writing that we hired him together to mediate & represent both of us.

However, our lawyer told me that I did not need to inform the judge that my finances had changed and that i had lost my income and job. That was poor legal advice that has hurt me financially. My mother tells me I can report him to the Board for this.

Monday is a holiday. My abuse advocate is sending me free legal resources on Tues. So I can hopefully get a pro bon lawyer.

I think it’s kind of unethical for people to claim rights for future inheritances. It doesn’t even make sense. What if someone was married three times? So he gets inheritance 20 years later after all these divorces and he now has to give all ex wives money? I think this situation is not morally sound.

But Hope’s situation is different. It’s not future inheritance. It’s current as she’s not divorced yet. They are married

What holiday is on Monday?

It’s not illegal to share a lawyer or have him as a mediator but certainly isn’t advisable when divorcing shady abuser. But also it wasn’t a third party random lawyer. Husband’s good friend? How convenient

I think in my case, since I lost my job and income and waived alimony, that the inheritance could likely be considered and that I could possibly be legally entitled to a small portion of it.

I do not know the nature of the inheritance.

I also do not know if my husband disclosed this inheritance in his financial statement. I need to see his statement, because if he didn't include it, that's fraudulent.

Patriots Day in MA.

I should have had my own legal representation, but could not afford it. Husband's lawyer friend was the cheapest option at the time. A mistake.

Got you. I thought I am losing my mind here

There is law that can make inheritance attachable in a divorce. Because HH was only married for a short term, she may not be entitled to anything regarding that. But, you should definitely consult your own lawyer who represents you.

I meant that talks about future inheritances kind of rubs me the wrong way. Like if someone received it years after divorce.

But since they are still married it’s fishy that husband isn’t informing the judge that he received inheritance.

Same with not having a job.

Letting the judge know she lost a job would likely not resulting in anything. They weren’t even married for 4 years and substantial portion of it was spent in separation on two occasions.

It’s a very short lived marriage and she’d likely be entitled to nothing. But lawyer giving her bad advice and husband possibly withholding money puts it in a different light. Sometimes judges get mad at shenanigans and might make some different decisions

Luke if she doesn’t work was she ordered to pay court fees? Maybe husband had to pay it in full. Or lawyers fee? If one spouse doesn’t work? Maybe she shouldn’t pay that either

I think in my case, whereby I was legally advised not to disclose my unemployment and change in income to the judge, that this does change things quite a bit. And if husband did not disclose a pending inheritance in his financial statement, that's not right either and is fraudulent.

Mom tells me I can report or threaten to report our lawyer for misrepresentation.

Exactly my point. Maybe you won’t get anything but the point is that it was possible all not done right. Fishy

VERY fishy....

Idk. To me, the article below implies that if hope has a future inheritance coming, they take that into consideration. Which i assume she does, from her parents' estate eventually.