Confused by a new acquaintance’s behavior. Please help

jesyka · Jul 22, 2023 at 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

This is what I was trying to point out. You start off fine then a person does something human and you go right to defense mode making hostile labels, she’s flaky. Or if she’s not flaky she most be evil and is trying to push you out of her life. Black or white thinking.

Given your age she can simply be a kind agreeable person who forgets a lot. She sounds like a very nice person. There’s a thousand innocent reason for her actions. Not two. The label flaky is judgmental and harsh. The thinking she has evil machinations is you projecting your own fears.

Just have a no confrontation talk and ask her if she notices she forgets things a lot. That it upset you because you think it means she’s trying to dump you. That’s honest. Not labeling people and dumping them because they’re human.

OK, I see your point. Obviously I’ve had a lot of horrific experiences with abusive horrible selfish people who have messed me up That and I had terrible parents & an awful sister & non supportive friends growing up most of my life.

It is very difficult for me to trust anyone these days. I try & most people keep disappointing me.

A lot of people are flaky & inconsiderate. It really is hard to find kind, genuine & decent people who are respectful & reliable out there.

I’m very tempted to text her & ask her the things you stated. I don’t want to appear to be needy though especially since I barely know her. She might not respond to my text

Maybe I’ll ask her that in a week from now & see what happens. I’ll staet out by saying, hey, are you OK? I didn’t hear back from you after I invited you out last week. I thought that you were going to call me but then I never got a call or a text from you. What’s going on?

How does that sound? What would you suggest I say or do?

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