[LiaH]

Me and my boyfriend have been living together for 3 years. We just moved into a house two weeks ago (apt before)
It seems like lately we have beren arguing all the time, over every little thing. This morning, he used my shirt that I was going to wear to blow my sons nose. I lost it. I couldnt believe he did that. He told me to grow up, and I lost it again. Thats where the name calling came in. I shouldnt have done that. But I lost it.

I need anger management or something. I know I hurt his feelings, so I went to a pay phone before I got to work, to apologize and tell him that I didnt mean all that stuff I said. This isnt the first time though. It seems everytime I get mad, I lose it. I dont have to be so upset. He is a good guy, I love him very much. I want to be a better person. I dont want my son to see my like that. (too late)
I need help. I pray and ask to be helped. BUt I think that I have to make the first move, and really try to control my self.

Thanks for listening.

[50guy]

Hi LiaH,

Welcome to PC. There is a lot of good advice and caring folks here.

It is good that you know that you were wrong and that you want to change. That is the first step in becoming the person you want to be. It would be good if you took a course or talked to your doctor about your anger. Something is not right in you life that causes this reaction to situations.

Good luck to you and I look forward to hearing good reports from you.

[Doh2007]

Welcome to the forum. You probably know that moving causes a lot of stress. During stress, we are not at our best. Couples tend to project their negative feelings onto their partners.

Please forgive yourself. Making mistakes is the way we learn.

[LiaH]

THank you very much for repsonding. Your advice is well received and appreciated.

[LiaH]

THank you so much.\
I forgive myself, but will he forgive me?

[Behindthemoon]

why dont you let him have a look at this thread so he might know how you think in detail?

[LiaH]

I think he already knows all this!

[wanttoheal]

Hi LiaH, welcome to Psych Central!

Personally, that action would have really ticked me off. The amount of tickedoffness, for me, might be variable with what else is going on in my brain at the time though.

Awareness is the first step for change. Do you have a therapist? There are reasons for the anger and oftentimes talking through things can help you figure out what they are.

Please let us know how things are going.

[LiaH]

I dont have a threapist, and wondered if I needed one becasue of my anger. Maybe I should

[wanttoheal]

A therapist can help with so many things. I had no clue about therapy when I was younger but I sure wish I did. It doesn't have to be long term. You get to make the rules as to how long you go and what you talk about and work on. It's nice to have a nonjudgmental, non biased person to talk about things with. Good luck and keep us posted.

[iknowyouhateme2]

im sorry i understand where your comeing from.

[tat2doc]

Agreed that moving causes stress but using you shirt to blow the kids nose? C'mon, what was he thinking?

I can sympathize with you though. I was recently in a relationship where my g/f and I fought all the time. I tried to get her to go to counseling but she never did (although I did). She didn't think it would help. (I still don't understand that line of thinking) And she didn't think it was her with a problem.

Long story short, we split up. I can only hope for better for you. At 51 years old, it still ain't no fun...

Best of luck though......

[LiaH]

Thanks.
It is really hard. It seems lke everything is getting worse. We argue over the dumbest things, and sometimes I want to just get away from him for a day or so.

[tat2doc]

I know the feeling. Sometimes I just wanted to smack her in the head (figuratively, not literally) to open her eyes and I'm sure she wanted to do the same to me. But to work together on it? That was out of the question to her. I was the one with the problems according to her. I couldn't even get her to share the blame 50/50.

I pray for her from time to time and hope that God puts her face to face with herself but that doesn't help the heartaches any. I guess it's like trying to save an alcoholic who doesn't think they have a problem. Sometimes you just gotta let em go till they see the light for themselves. Although it's frustrating to sit helpless when your significant other needs help but can't see it, or admit it.

I'd tell you to hang in there but you gotta do whats best for you but I wish you all the best......