[xcrossmyheartx]

I met this wonderful guy about a month ago and the minute i met him i just fell completly in love...hes great hes sweet and caring...hes a few years older then me ..but i dont think age matters much...but i have a problem...when i went out with my last boyfriend...he made up things that i was emotional
and clingy and now i have a great fear of being myself
i dont want my current boy to think im an emotional freak
and when im partly myself i get nervous and make a fool of myself or i get scared to speak my mind...i hate it so much he says he loves me and i believe it and i know i love him but im
so scared..i always believed in taking chances but its like
i get really scared to be me and that he wont care..what do i do?

[Zenobia]

I hid myself for 15 years before letting my husband know who I was. It is a painful and lonely way to live. I have been learning over the past few years how to talk to my husband. It is hard work. We both mess up sometimes and hurt the other but we are learning to communicate.

My advice is to tell your SO about what your previous boyfriend said about you and how you are afraid that he was right and are now afraid to be yourself and get your emotional needs met. It is a serious talk but believe me it is worth the massive amount of discomfort you will have trying to start the discussion. Chances are you will feel much better afterwards. Together you and your SO can work out a way for you to get the attention you need while preserving the seperateness that makes us individuals.
Carrie

<font color=blue>The important thing is this: to be able at any momeent to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.--Charles Du Bos

[xcrossmyheartx]

i actually did talk to him about it (online..yes not the best but ) and i still dont klnow how he sees it so hopefully i find out soon i told him about my emotional scarring and i even hae the IM if u'd like to see it...but ill keep in touch with what happens thank you for your support

[Zenobia]

That is how I first started with my husband. Letters. I couldn't stand to talk to him face to face. I felt like I was going to get hit or something. Don't take that wrong, my hubby has never laid a finger on me. It just feels that way. Like if I say something something real bad is going to happen. I can write about it though. It isn't the best way, you are right, because sometimes the "tone" isn't picked up correctly. Then it is a big mess. But I had to communicate and so I wrote another letter explaining the last one and so on until I was able to talk to him personally. I had to do it in session the first few times. We had a great counselor who helped me be heard and help hubby learn how to hear.
Carrie

<font color=blue>The important thing is this: to be able at any momeent to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.--Charles Du Bos