The purpose of the universe

seeker: it's not scary at all, once you meet yourself it becomes all about Acceptance... not to say one becomes indifferent~! nooo, the opposite, life is so much more....

one thing i finally learned, to call everything: the Friendly Universe.
because i truly believe, perceive, that it is offering us just what we need, just when we need it. it is always trying to help us become more aware.

I am not questioning anything, but can the universe heal me if I come close to it? I have terrible cognition and nerve damage in my arms and legs. That'd disqualify me from being a surgeon. I had given up but now want to get into med school again...

Do you think the universe will heal my nerve damage? There's only a Marvel movie about the exact same thing, but Strange finds it easier to be the Supreme Sorcerer rather than being a surgeon again.... he gets help from someone that doesn't exist. But who will help me, or more accurately, what will help me? I can manage nerve pain but not the shakiness or precision of my hands.

I have yet to hear a person heal from nerve damage by the universe....

I am desperate enough, but I sometimes think God this to me because I don't believe in him.

it has been said that there are only two causes of suffering (not pain):
1) not wanting what one has;
2) not having what one wants.

only you can stop your suffering; you are immersed in the Friendly Universe...

But I want to save the world, not for myself, but for the sake of saving lives. I also get to do it in a way I love. Why should a disability stop me? I wanted to be a savior, couldn't because I suffered brain damage as an infant. I am a goner.

So can you tell me how I can stop my suffering? How can I do either of those, without causing even more suffering? Or pain at least. And why in the hell would I give up the selfless quest to save people's lives? Medicine is the only branch of science I am fit for. And I have no ambition, passion or interest in anything other than the limited science I know of.

So why was I born, without any purpose? More importantly, why did I become so useless to the world when I could easily have been an inventor? Now I cannot even spell without having a spellchecker.


So why I have become subject to such cruelty?

The LonelyChemist, I can't help you but I fully understand and feel for you...
I wonder how can one feel this loving friendly universe, why don't we all feel it's friendliness?

It's ironic to say at least. I want to help everyone yet nobody is able to help me.


Well I am still going to try to be a surgeon, if it doesn't work out (if I don't get accepted in med school firstly) I will try to be a medical scientist, and if even that doesn't work out I doubt I will live. Because it's medicine that makes my heart pound. I may not be the brightest student in the world but I know I am brilliant. In high school teachers called me a "90+ % student" I managed to get 84% in science the year I graduated science.

But then psychosis hit me. I hit back. That's why I have passed my classes 'till now. Yes I did require great assistance, but I didn't do any bizarre thing despite my literal bizarre delusions. It's very hard for me to maintain my sanity in social situations.


I do hope I get to be a surgeon despite my nerve damage. I just hope. It doesn't make much sense when I talk that's why a clinical specialty is out of question for me. And I want to impact people's lives directly, not by just research, that's why I am considering going to med school in the first place.

the Book of the Way (Tao te Ching) by Lao tse

https://www.google.com/search?biw=99...KscvjthOwdhcM:

Awesome Gus! I wish I could save that to my page.

I still wonder why the universe won't show itself to everyone.

It's ironic, truly ironic, universe tells us that those who want to do good shouldn't be allowed to do so. Because, well, luck.

Another way we can think of the universe is as a virtual reality where ever belief we hold manifests itself. So we can only see a reflection of our own consciousness. Then what we call the universe out there is really a projection of ourselves. What we see changes as we change our beliefs and how we view others.

An example is when we might wear tinted glasses. Everything we see is colored by the glasses. That is how I think our beliefs color the world we see. So the universe does not change, but our perception of it.

Why does there even have to be a purpose ? Just because we humans think there should be ? The universe is everything and nothing at the same time.
Maybe someday in the far distant future will we be able to understand what’s really happening here. Evolution is a slow process. In the end everything , that we know of , will cease to exist.

Yes, you're probably right... How do we cope with this?

We will be long dead.

You can be a surgeon or scientist LonelyChemist. Whether you will be permitted entry into university as it stands right now is a hurdle you can get past. I wanted to study architecture, but didn't have the entry requirements. So I spent several years in self study...gathering the obligatory prerequisites needed. It is doable, with tenacity of purpose and hard work...just find a way.

I wish you all the best in your endeavours.

You weren't negative. Just real. I love it when someone is real. I love you.

Thank you.

I am currently in a horrible emotional state, because a while ago I abandoned my idea of becoming a doctor. Now I am paying the price, I am feeling painful nothingness (a tight and wet feeling around my thorax and heart) and isolation, all while hoping I would learn to socialize and be a normal person.

I'm thinking of you, LonelyChemist.

Well I don't know. I have all or none thinking (perhaps due to depression) and I have several abnormalities in my brain structure (based on my own analysis; I don't know what those are) which may be autism, so my social skills don't match up to my peers.

My peers are dating girls, riding friends' motorbikes (as large as 350cc bikes which weigh 200kg), staying outside all day and doing what teenagers do. I am a teenager too, but I am stuck at home with my crazy parents. The only way to change things is to get accepted into med school, but how am I supposed to do that, with so much fault in my neural system? And not only that, but an environment like this which triggers my depression and anxiety?

Thank you, I appreciate your comment :-) I assume your last sentence was just a friendly phrase that you say to many people? I guess it's a cultural thing. :-)

What about some other major that would be easier to get into? Even though it wouldn't be medicine, just to get out of your house? And later you could do some course in alternative medicine and help people without being an MD. Perhaps a massage therapist, herbalist or something like that?

I can't leave the city, parents would say no. There are no colleges which have hostel to live in which we can afford in this city. The only way out is a government medical college. It has a nice hostel coupled with professors who understand me better than I do, students who won't make fun of me, and we can afford it, I get to try to chase my dream... but it's very hard to get into, because the environment isn't quite good and parents just want to drain my confidence, and it's already like I need serious lifestyle changes to actually recall what I read and I have to brush up my math skills and do the math that was never taught to us.

I don't want law enforcement involved, it would have disastrous consequences on the mental health of my little sister.

That's a really difficult situation... I can't offer any advice, I'm absolutely not familiar with American system.
I just want to say I wish you the best and hope you'll find a way to solve this struggle!

English is not my native language. But I speak it better anyway than my mother tongue. Anyway, thank you for trying to guide me. I appreciate that. I just wanted to tell everyone my situation, even if it does nothing.

I understand, please keep us updated, we're here to support you.