[paranoidgirl123]

I'm bipolar with skitzoaffective. It started my senior year of high school. I'm 22 now, and over the time I've been thinking the world is out to get me. SEVERE paranoia: thinking things will happen and it doesn't. Thinking things won't happen, and they do. thinking sounds and actions people make/do are answers to my questions. I believe everyone can read my mind, including animals. The TV talks to me, and tells me I'm going to hell. I've been dealing with this, but now Its telling me I'm going to die soon and go to hell. I keep trying to fight it and tell them in my head that I'm not a bad person, but the world is persistent. Why is it going to happen soon? Because my paranoia isn't as intense and I can actually relax, until my mind starts thinking that I'm going to hell. "Its always calmest before the storm." Do you get where I am coming from? I'm scared to death. and my family has heard enough of it, so I have no one to turn to. Please help me. Thanks.

[worthit]

my problem is I think that my thoughts affect other people in their well being or their harm. I've been working with a therapist now since 2009 & it has helped immensely. thoughts are things that are habits so you've developed habits of these bad thoughts of harm coming to you. the only thing that helped me was medication and therapy. I hope you can get into therapy and on medication as soon as possible, and start working on helping yourself. since your family is tired of hearing it,we're here for you. schizo affective and PTSD in California,((hugs))

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[paranoidgirl123]

Thanks for writing me back. I just got out of the hospital Wednesday. I was there to adjust my meds, and when I left, my paranoia wasn't as intense. But once I got out into the real world, things got alot worse. I don't think the medicine is working anymore. I don't believe it's worked in about 2 years. I'm in Louisiana, and we don't have good psychiatrists or therapists. My pediatrician only refers us to one psychiatrist and now that I'm older, I can't go to this psychiatrist anymore because he only deals with children and adolescents. I have a therapist, but everytime I bring up my paranoia, he just tells me it's not real and moves on to other issues that I'm not worried about right now. He doesn't work through my problems of my paranoia. It kinda sucks. I don't know what to do anymore. Accept that I'm going to hell? I'm not a bad person, so this is hard to accept.

[DirtyDog04]

In the long term, it would be nice if you could seek good therapy and try out different meds. I can't say I have things as bad as you, but I understand that the thoughts are not going to just go away, and that people can only help you so much because they don't really understand what you are thinking. My only thought is to try and find something to take your mind off of it. Instead of watching tv, maybe read a book or magazine on something that interests you, or find some solitary activity that you enjoy to a certain degree. I like working on engines because I know they'll never judge or betray me, but that's just an example. Good luck with everything.

[philbee]

paranoid girl...the paranoia and delusions you currently have are almost identical to what i experienced when i was younger. i used to believe people were controlling my mind and influencing me when i rode the bus. i was extremely paranoid! however, i finally found a psychiatrist who put me on meds that worked for me (seroquel and risperdal). now at least for me, the paranod delusions are well controlled by my psych meds. however, under periods of great stress the paranoid delusions will return, but i have learned to ignore them until the stress ends and my meds kick back in.

i'm not really qualified to give medical advice, but having the correct meds definitely worked for me, and if there is any way u can find a decent psychiatrist or psycho-pharmacologist, hopefully you can achieve the same result.

[Frokly]

i understand what you mean by calm before the storm... a lot of times misery is just waiting to be multiplied but the human mind is stronger than anything else... i say that through experience due to the hell i've been through myself... and i know there is nothing my mind can't go through and survive... so i know its the same for you too....

best wishes for you and everything you have to overcome

Frokly

[avlady]

Yes I hope you can overcome your negative thoughts, i used to be paranoid on buses. I also think every day I'm going to die.

[Mysoul]

I too feel that "I'm about to die" feeling......It comes on in a swirl of panic and jacks me up so bad that I have to immediately take a Klonnie and a half a xannie. As the meds start to work the feeling subsides but when it hits me I'm positive that I'm about to die. The thing that works the best for me is to take my medicine faithfully and on schedule. I think my problem is that I often think I don't need the medicine, or more accurately, I don't WANT to need the medicine so I delude myself into thinking I'm OK without it. Then I get panicky and the voices tell me I'm about to die. When I get like that I cant leave the house mostly have to stay in bed until I begin to feel safer again. It sucks.