[spincera]

Thanks for your post, Worthit. It seems like Geodon is not good for me either. I just do not know what other med they can put me on, because I have tried nearly all of the antipsychotics. I might just have to live with the tiredness and everything else that goes along with this illness. I just want to be halfway stable at least. I guess I should be greatful that I am not completely "out there" as I'd like to say, but I am a little loopy due to lack of sleep, but that is par for the course these days. I just need to learn to accept and come to terms with this illness. This forum is extremely helpful though, because I know that I am not alone. It is nice to see how everyone gets by from day to day.

[worthit]

Originally Posted by spincera

Thanks for your post, Worthit. It seems like Geodon is not good for me either. I just do not know what other med they can put me on, because I have tried nearly all of the antipsychotics. I might just have to live with the tiredness and everything else that goes along with this illness. I just want to be halfway stable at least. I guess I should be greatful that I am not completely "out there" as I'd like to say, but I am a little loopy due to lack of sleep, but that is par for the course these days. I just need to learn to accept and come to terms with this illness. This forum is extremely helpful though, because I know that I am not alone. It is nice to see how everyone gets by from day to day.

Have you tried Latuda? That's what I ended up with. I tried at least 15 different meds too. I'm great on Latuda . (Schizoaffective bipolar type and ptsd )

[spincera]

Unfortunately, the side effects with latuda were intolerable for me. I couldn't sleep on it due to the shaking, jerking, and creepy crawlies. There are a few class of older drugs that I have not tried and some that I cannot try due to my allergic reaction to a medication. I don't know. Hmmm. I'm glad you brought up trying different meds because it brings to mind the couple of meds that I need to tell the new med manager about that I cannot take. I can't remember their names. I am going to look them up to give to her. Your post really helped. Again thanks.

[spincera]

I am home now from my appointment with the new medication management lady. She confirmed my diagnosis from my other provider. She also wants to continue my regimen of Geodon. I will just be taking it at night which is what I was already planning on doing. I am hoping it will make me sleep through the night and won't make me drowsy during the day. I shall see though. I am now even more exhausted then I was earlier. I will have to take my meds and go to bed early tonight.
On a different note, I haven't told my mother of my dx yet. I wanted to wait until I got a second opinion before I did so. I'm scared to tell her. She definitely will not understand. I will have to get her some literature on it. Maybe then she will understand it. I think she will be overcome by the stigma associated with it. I guess I will find out......

[jaynedough]

Too depressed.

[worthit]

Paranoid. .

[worthit]

Better, today. Resting.

[Blue_Bird]

Doing well today, I feel completely stable and at peace

[jaynedough]

I've been struggling really badly lately. I don't like to put down the extent b/c I'm afraid I'll freak people out. Also, I've had people turn their backs on me when I've told. Including people who have had no problems telling me stuff. That hasn't happened here. Yet. Still, my fear of saying how bad things are persists.

I'll say just a little: I don't feel like getting up right now. If I get up, I have to see everything that needs to be done, not the least of which Is getting a fire going b/c it's so cold. I can't afford another power bill like this month's. Can't really afford that one. Anyway, I need to bring in wood, too. We're supposed to get more bad weather and I need dry wood. I have fibromyalgia as well as arthritis in my spine. So I'm extra tired and in pain. I have to feed and walk the dog, too. And I just want to give up. I want to cry and stay under the covers. It's so hard to keep going. I know my family would be better off without me, especially since they need money to send my niece to college and they'd have money if they could sell the house. I don't know that I could live anywhere else. I don't deserve to stay here b/c I didn't earn it. All this stuff keeps going thru my mind, dragging me down further and further. I'm sorry if I bummed anyone out.

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by jaynedough

I've been struggling really badly lately. I don't like to put down the extent b/c I'm afraid I'll freak people out. Also, I've had people turn their backs on me when I've told. Including people who have had no problems telling me stuff. That hasn't happened here. Yet. Still, my fear of saying how bad things are persists.

I'll say just a little: I don't feel like getting up right now. If I get up, I have to see everything that needs to be done, not the least of which Is getting a fire going b/c it's so cold. I can't afford another power bill like this month's. Can't really afford that one. Anyway, I need to bring in wood, too. We're supposed to get more bad weather and I need dry wood. I have fibromyalgia as well as arthritis in my spine. So I'm extra tired and in pain. I have to feed and walk the dog, too. And I just want to give up. I want to cry and stay under the covers. It's so hard to keep going. I know my family would be better off without me, especially since they need money to send my niece to college and they'd have money if they could sell the house. I don't know that I could live anywhere else. I don't deserve to stay here b/c I didn't earn it. All this stuff keeps going thru my mind, dragging me down further and further. I'm sorry if I bummed anyone out.

Oh Jayne I'm so sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed and down. Things are frighteningly bad for me too. I was thinking of you yesterday and I was so glad you had your dog to keep you going. Without that sort of inspiration, another living being around to care for, I have truly gotten bad off here. I'm actually frightened on my legs when I stand up lately and I don't know why. I am frightened of even small amounts of walking and the progress I'd made last month is all gone. So I am in your boat with you. I know how you feel because I feel so similarly. Lots of hugs! I'm always here if you ever want to talk.

[worthit]

I was a personal trainer from 1987 to 2013 and I was able to recognize when people were afraid of moving. I had to convince them and ensure them that moving was the best thing for them,even though it was painful. It would only get worse if they did not. The body is made to be a machine in movement. Even though it causes inflammation and pain, if you don't move it freezes up even worse. So please, try to move a little bit more each day, even if its just to the bathroom or just to the kitchen. That will make you feel like you've done something more positive. And hopefully you will get out of your depression soon. Both of you take care of yourselves

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by worthit

I was a personal trainer from 1987 to 2013 and I was able to recognize when people were afraid of moving. I had to convince them and ensure them that moving was the best thing for them,even though it was painful. It would only get worse if they did not. The body is made to be a machine in movement. Even though it causes inflammation and pain, if you don't move it freezes up even worse. So please, try to move a little bit more each day, even if its just to the bathroom or just to the kitchen. That will make you feel like you've done something more positive. And hopefully you will get out of your depression soon. Both of you take care of yourselves

Thank you! I don't know why I'm having this anxiety when I stand up. I wish I could have some benzos.

[jaynedough]

Angelique: We need to sink this boat we're in and swim to shore. Maybe set up a Tiki bar on the beach.

Worthit: I do know I need to move. After I wrote that, I did bring several loads of wood in and get the fire going and got the dog walked....

Possible trigger:

I just don't want to be alive anymore. I'm tired of it all. I don't have plans or anything; I just want to give up. It's so hard hanging on after all these years

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by jaynedough

Angelique: We need to sink this boat we're in and swim to shore. Maybe set up a Tiki bar on the beach.

Worthit: I do know I need to move. After I wrote that, I did bring several loads of wood in and get the fire going and got the dog walked....

Possible trigger:

I just don't want to be alive anymore. I'm tired of it all. I don't have plans or anything; I just want to give up. It's so hard hanging on after all these years

Jayne I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad. I need to move too. Maybe I can demolish this apartment once I reach the shore?

[Blue_Bird]

I'm so proud of myself, by this time next week I will have received my first 6 college credits

I feel like I'm getting sick, like a flu or something.

Appointment with my doctor tomorrow to get my shot, plus gotta ask her if there's anything she can do to help the OCD. I'm stable otherwise.

[spincera]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I'm so proud of myself, by this time next week I will have received my first 6 college credits

I feel like I'm getting sick, like a flu or something.

Appointment with my doctor tomorrow to get my shot, plus gotta ask her if there's anything she can do to help the OCD. I'm stable otherwise.

Blue_Bird, congrats on earning your first college credits! That is a great accomplishment! It is also good that you are fairly stable. That is always a plus.

As a check in, I've got a HORRIBLE headache! I wish it would go away. I think it has to do with the Geodon. I am going to talk to the doctor tomorrow about these stupid headaches. Today's headache is by far the worst one I have had. It is making me dizzy and nauseated. I'm actually thinking that it may be a migraine. I'm just not sure about this Geodon medication. It might be more headache than it is worth. (no pun intended). lol

My anxiety is also through the roof!

[spincera]

My Bday is today. I always get bummed on my birthday, and I don't know why.
Maybe my day will get better. It is only 12:30 a.m. here. ho hummm!

[Blue_Bird]

I hope you feel better soon! Happy birthday

[worthit]

Happy birthday!

[jaynedough]

Belated Happy Birthday, Spincera!

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by spincera

My Bday is today. I always get bummed on my birthday, and I don't know why.
Maybe my day will get better. It is only 12:30 a.m. here. ho hummm!

Happy birthday spincera!

[SillyKitty]

Think I didn't stay in inpatient long enough. I lied to get out because I'm paranoid that my husband is gonna leave me and take our daughter. Idk why I keep thinking this because he keeps telling me he just wants me to get better. I'm see my pdoc Friday, so I'm going to see what he says.

[Shmooey]

Saw my pdoc yesterday and got my Haldol doubled from 7.5 to 15 mg. I am taking 10 mg for the first three nights as a bridge. After last night, I slept until 2 p.m. Hopefully that increased tiredness is just an initial side effect!

Was having too many breakthrough psychotic symptoms and I'm on short term disability trying to get back to work by June. Something had to change.

[Blue_Bird]

Hope the Haldol helps you Shmooey

[spincera]

I actually had a nice day on Tuesday. In fact, it was a beautiful day outside, and I felt wonderful!
I'm having problems with the Geodon. I might need to be taken off of it. The tiredness is tolerable at the moment, but the other side effects are not so tolerable. I will talk to my pdoc next Tuesday. I wish that I did not have to wait so long, but at least it is coming up to the weekend. Oh wait, I thought that I did not have anything to do, but I have a meeting on Sunday. Darn it anyhow. Oh well, I'm going to try to think positive thoughts, positive thoughts...
I hope everyone else is doing well though.