New Check-in SZA Thread.

Zeus123 · Oct 21, 2015, 09:49 PM

My symptoms are returning. I'm so anxious it's been hard to sleep and sit still. My pdoc gave me lorazepam to control it and increased my Latuda because I'm having "dark" thoughts. I was crying for every thing. Feeling hopeless and new thoughts creep in. I feel like on tv when the camera zooms out and the character is left all alone in the vastness of the world. My time and space overlaps. My T said to "be well" and I'm trying to do that. But I feel in a low mood. I confided in a friend who tries to cheer me up. Waiting for meds to kick in hopefully my mood also improves.

CrazyLo · Oct 28, 2015, 07:10 PM

I'm MANIC! It feels wonderful!

Atypical_Disaster · Nov 04, 2015, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrazyLo

I'm MANIC! It feels wonderful!

Glad it feels wonderful but I hope you don't crash too hard when it's done!

My mood is stable but the voices are really loud today and they were loud yesterday too. Screw this I want some peace and quiet!

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Zeus123 · Nov 04, 2015, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

Glad it feels wonderful but I hope you don't crash too hard when it's done!

My mood is stable but the voices are really loud today and they were loud yesterday too. Screw this I want some peace and quiet!

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I hope you find peace. My mood is low and my voices are quiet. Lately, I don't feel like being friendly (sorry) just want to isolate myself. My anxiety keeps me locked up!

Atypical_Disaster · Nov 04, 2015, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zeus123

I hope you find peace. My mood is low and my voices are quiet. Lately, I don't feel like being friendly (sorry) just want to isolate myself. My anxiety keeps me locked up!

I haven't wanted to be all that "friendly" either as of late. I've been like, oh god kiss my introverted butt and go the **** away... It's like just ugh, I can't do people right now. Just nope. Totally content to be home alone all day with zero noise because everything feels like nails on a chalkboard...

Nov 04, 2015, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

I haven't wanted to be all that "friendly" either as of late. I've been like, oh god kiss my introverted butt and go the **** away... It's like just ugh, I can't do people right now. Just nope. Totally content to be home alone all day with zero noise because everything feels like nails on a chalkboard...

i've been isolating as well. i get completely irate if i go outside. it's like everyone moves like snails or is in the way. just want to get from point a to point b without any interaction. been using my headphones a lot as i move about town, yet people still try to speak. how can i hear you through headphones? ...should be an indicator to go on your way and leave me be. also haven't been feeling so friendly.

Atypical_Disaster · Nov 04, 2015, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smilesandcries

i've been isolating as well. i get completely irate if i go outside. it's like everyone moves like snails or is in the way. just want to get from point a to point b without any interaction. been using my headphones a lot as i move about town, yet people still try to speak. how can i hear you through headphones? ...should be an indicator to go on your way and leave me be. also haven't been feeling so friendly.

Yeah lately I'm just downright truculent, like online is okay because that doesn't involve people actually talking where I can hear them in my ****ing ears driving me up the ****ing wall. It may take awhile before I do the whole talking to people thing again... Just **** this...

Angelique67 · Nov 08, 2015, 06:58 PM

I haven't been this miserable and depressed in a long time. I don't know what the answer is. I don't want to live any longer.

Mr.Arch-Vile · Nov 08, 2015, 10:05 PM

I guess I feel good because I feel disassociate with my so-called illness, I prefer the term mental enhancement , I would hate to feel what so called normal people feel day in and day out.

General FYI I am a BPD-ATYPICAL psychotic flavor. Official dx still pending.

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Mr.Arch-Vile · Nov 08, 2015, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I haven't been this miserable and depressed in a long time. I don't know what the answer is. I don't want to live any longer.

Just hang in there, I feel that looking at the bigger picture during a depressed period becomes to problematic. You need to take small steps towards recovery.

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Nov 09, 2015, 11:08 AM

i don't want to live every day of my life, but i keep going.

Angelique67 · Nov 09, 2015, 04:48 PM

I'm wondering if I've had a mini stroke because my thinking has gotten very strange and my body has become changed in the past few weeks. I'm not sure. BTW, the latest pdoc said I have schizoaffective because "[you] have insight, and anxiety." I'm sure he's wrong but why should I care anyway.

Zeus123 · Nov 09, 2015, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I'm wondering if I've had a mini stroke because my thinking has gotten very strange and my body has become changed in the past few weeks. I'm not sure. BTW, the latest pdoc said I have schizoaffective because "[you] have insight, and anxiety." I'm sure he's wrong but why should I care anyway.

Please go see a doctor right now! I hope you're ok and its nothing. Get checked out to be sure. Hugs and take care!

Angelique67 · Nov 09, 2015, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.Arch-Vile

Just hang in there, I feel that looking at the bigger picture during a depressed period becomes to problematic. You need to take small steps towards recovery.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

Thank you Mr.Arch-Vile, it is very hard to see the big picture unless it's my ending. I'm trying to just take it as it comes but it's hard.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zeus123

Please go see a doctor right now! I hope you're ok and its nothing. Get checked out to be sure. Hugs and take care!

Thank you, Zeus. I'm going to the pdoc on Thursday and maybe I'll mention it. My body has definitely changed in the past few weeks but I don't know what it might be, could be nothing. I hate doctors and I might not go to an upcoming test.

Atypical_Disaster · Nov 09, 2015, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I'm wondering if I've had a mini stroke because my thinking has gotten very strange and my body has become changed in the past few weeks. I'm not sure. BTW, the latest pdoc said I have schizoaffective because "[you] have insight, and anxiety." I'm sure he's wrong but why should I care anyway.

Um, people with schizophrenia can have insight... that pdoc is ignorant.

I hope you're okay physically that is worrying.

Angelique67 · Nov 09, 2015, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

Um, people with schizophrenia can have insight... that pdoc is ignorant.

I hope you're okay physically that is worrying.

He's the shrink at the clinic that almost killed me in 2013 (the clinic, not the shrink), so I didn't expect much. I know he's wrong about the insight thing, and the gad being equivalent to a mood disorder is also nonsense as far as I could tell. The part that really bothers me is that he wants to increase and add meds. I'm not sure I'm up for that at all.

Blue_Bird · Nov 09, 2015, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

He's the shrink at the clinic that almost killed me in 2013 (the clinic, not the shrink), so I didn't expect much. I know he's wrong about the insight thing, and the gad being equivalent to a mood disorder is also nonsense as far as I could tell. The part that really bothers me is that he wants to increase and add meds. I'm not sure I'm up for that at all.

Haven't you been dealing with severe depression for a long time though? That would be considered a mood disorder

Angelique67 · Nov 09, 2015, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Haven't you been dealing with severe depression for a long time though? That would be considered a mood disorder

I'm not sure. I'm not sure whether I've been consistently depressed.

dillpickle1983 · Nov 11, 2015, 01:12 AM

My roommate got a puppy.... I wanted a cat. I still want a cat. But I guess one animal at a time. Her name is CoCo and she is a 9 month old Terrier mix. She is really sweet.

I started taking Viibryd a few days ago. I see no noticeable effect right now. The other AP's are keeping my symptoms in check for the most part. I still hear voices every now and then, but having to watch the puppy gives me something to do and keep my mind busy I guess. Overall I am doing ok.

Angelique67 · Nov 11, 2015, 10:53 AM

I postponed my pdoc appointment - I hope he'll still prescribe my Abilify in the meantime. I was/am too overwhelmed by having to go to the hospital Monday also for that test. It's going to take a few hours and I need a huge time cushion of breathing space before it. I might also have to postpone the therapist. That is useless anyway. She is nice, but there are no goals so far (2 appointments I've been to so far), and it isn't any help.

I'm cold and scared at the moment but at least I got that call done. I have to go out to the mailbox too. Scared to do that.

Blue_Bird · Nov 11, 2015, 12:05 PM

What kind of therapist do you see?

Angelique67 · Nov 11, 2015, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

What kind of therapist do you see?

I have no idea, she never said. She's one of the therapists at the clinic.

Blue_Bird · Nov 11, 2015, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I have no idea, she never said. She's one of the therapists at the clinic.

I would bring up that you want goals and to get more out of it than you're getting now. It could be she's just getting to know you a little before she jumps into things

Angelique67 · Nov 11, 2015, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I would bring up that you want goals and to get more out of it than you're getting now. It could be she's just getting to know you a little before she jumps into things

Yes, you could be right about that. I'm intimidated when I'm there because I have no idea what medical records they're looking at there.

jaynedough · Nov 12, 2015, 01:59 AM

If you have time, check out this Jonny Benjamin vid: Sometimes (I'm schizoaffective)/All Of The Time (I'm human). Its such a great description of sza symptoms.

Personally, I'm not doing great. Like alot of you, I'm isolatng. Way too depressed. I get so tired.

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