[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by Deilla

I feel pretty worthless today. I haven't been able to do much and I can't bring myself to take a shower. I have an appointment on Friday. I have to do something. All l managed to do today is wash dishes. I needed to take my trash out. But I was too anxious about it. I feel like my life is pointless. My cat keeps crying. I'm not even a good cat mom. I'm zero, garbage and a waste of space.

Dear @Deilla, you know you are experiencing common symptoms of depression & anxiety. Your cat probably senses something is wrong, so cries. The world is depressing on top of your own depression. And you very definitely have value. I'm very thankful that you are here with us. Hugs & love to you, dear friend!!

[SlumberKitty]

HUGS @Deilla

[SlumberKitty]

@Sapien I know you might be in the hospital right now but I just wanted you to know that you are being thought of. I hope you are feeling better. HUGS Kit

[SlumberKitty]

Tomorrow is my intake for the possible virtual IOP. I have to go to the intake in person so I took a sick day from work because it is two hours away. Then I will probably hit traffic. I'm concerned about the intake but I can't really articulate why. IDK if it is fear of the unknown or if they won't let me qualify for the IOP like the last one or what. I'm nervous but I am trying not to be.

[Breaking Dawn]

I've been having terrible dissociation & the voices are being painfully cruel.

[SlumberKitty]

HUGS @Breaking Dawn

[Deilla]

I'm back on Cymbalta. The Zoloft wasn't helping. I am hoping to sleep tonight. Cymbalta makes me drowsy.

[MuddyBoots]

I'm back from the hospital. They switched my zyprexa to thorazine and my risperdal to invega. I'm still not sleeping well, an hour here, fifteen minutes there, and half an hour there usually. The paranoia and voices are much better and now I only have to have a once a month injection instead of every two weeks.

They are making it difficult for me to get my meds again though. Without insurance/patient assistance, all my meds would be almost $10,000 and a few have prior authorizations which means I probably won't be able to get them. I hate this country's healthcare system.

[SlumberKitty]

Hi @Sapien, welcome back from the hospital. It sounded helpful. I'm glad. Sorry you are having trouble getting your meds though. They never make it easy. HUGS Kit

[MuddyBoots]

I'm having a good day so far. Had to take a PRN for voices this morning; it helped a lot. Another crummy night's sleep though. I hope the pharmacy worked on my meds and the prior auth's went through.

[Deilla]

I'm doing well. I'm back on Cymbalta. It's helping me sleep and it works on my moods.

[Breaking Dawn]

Mental illness is painful sometimes.

[MuddyBoots]

Every time I call the pharmacy they tell me to call at a later date. If tomorrow they screw with me like that I'm calling the hospital and telling them they keep putting it off and to cancel the order and give me risperdal tablets (we had this plan set up because we know pharmacies/insurance companies). I need a shower badly.

[Deilla]

I don't feel well today. I'm unwell physically and emotionally. I think I need more sleep.

[Breaking Dawn]

It's difficult.

[SlumberKitty]

HUGS everyone. It seems everyone (me too) is having a hard time right now. Nothing about MI is easy. Nothing about this disorder is easy.

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

HUGS everyone. It seems everyone (me too) is having a hard time right now. Nothing about MI is easy. Nothing about this disorder is easy.

I don't think I've talked to a psych doc or NP and them not mention how tough schizoaffective is.
We're all total badasses just by surviving

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by Sapien

I don't think I've talked to a psych doc or NP and them not mention how tough schizoaffective is.
We're all total badasses just by surviving

True that!

[WastingAsparagus]

Originally Posted by Sapien

I don't think I've talked to a psych doc or NP and them not mention how tough schizoaffective is.
We're all total badasses just by surviving

Yeah! I'll take that.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

HUGS everyone. It seems everyone (me too) is having a hard time right now. Nothing about MI is easy. Nothing about this disorder is easy.

Thank you, @SlumberKitty!

[SlumberKitty]

I feel a little better today. I feel a little anxious but I don't want to take anxiety medication (yet). I'll see if it goes down if I do some breathing exercises. I feel a little more steady or stable or something today.

[Deilla]

I quit vaping. Today will make 2 days. I feel like **** on top of everything else. My only comfort is to sleep with my cats.

[MuddyBoots]

That's an awesome comfort to have, Deilla! I love sleeping with my fur babies. Hope you feel better, and good for you for quitting!

I have an appointment with my pnurse today and I'm unsure if it's over the phone or online. Everything's been over the phone, but the hospital that set it up said it was online (and they've gotten things wrong before). I hope it's online because I haven't seen her face in over a year and a half.

[Breaking Dawn]

I guess I'm ok at the moment.

[SlumberKitty]

I'm feeling on emotional overload at the moment. I'm doing an IOP and it's a lot of intensity. It's good because I'm learning a lot but it's bad because it is so intense all the time. Today I have an appointment with the individual therapist--J in about an hour and a half and we are going to have to talk about my SH relapse so I am not looking forward to that. I think I am numbing out so I don't have to feel because I'm on emotional overload. Oh yeah and stupid hallucinations been bothering me this week.