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  #776  
Old Sep 02, 2021, 01:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Deilla View Post
I feel pretty worthless today. I haven't been able to do much and I can't bring myself to take a shower. I have an appointment on Friday. I have to do something. All l managed to do today is wash dishes. I needed to take my trash out. But I was too anxious about it. I feel like my life is pointless. My cat keeps crying. I'm not even a good cat mom. I'm zero, garbage and a waste of space.
Dear @Deilla, you know you are experiencing common symptoms of depression & anxiety. Your cat probably senses something is wrong, so cries. The world is depressing on top of your own depression. And you very definitely have value. I'm very thankful that you are here with us. Hugs & love to you, dear friend!!
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  #777  
Old Sep 02, 2021, 03:06 PM
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HUGS @Deilla
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  #778  
Old Sep 02, 2021, 03:15 PM
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@Sapien I know you might be in the hospital right now but I just wanted you to know that you are being thought of. I hope you are feeling better. HUGS Kit
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  #779  
Old Sep 02, 2021, 03:52 PM
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Tomorrow is my intake for the possible virtual IOP. I have to go to the intake in person so I took a sick day from work because it is two hours away. Then I will probably hit traffic. I'm concerned about the intake but I can't really articulate why. IDK if it is fear of the unknown or if they won't let me qualify for the IOP like the last one or what. I'm nervous but I am trying not to be.
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  #780  
Old Sep 10, 2021, 12:51 PM
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I've been having terrible dissociation & the voices are being painfully cruel.
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  #781  
Old Sep 10, 2021, 01:23 PM
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HUGS @Breaking Dawn
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  #782  
Old Sep 10, 2021, 06:46 PM
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I'm back on Cymbalta. The Zoloft wasn't helping. I am hoping to sleep tonight. Cymbalta makes me drowsy.
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  #783  
Old Sep 12, 2021, 12:24 PM
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I'm back from the hospital. They switched my zyprexa to thorazine and my risperdal to invega. I'm still not sleeping well, an hour here, fifteen minutes there, and half an hour there usually. The paranoia and voices are much better and now I only have to have a once a month injection instead of every two weeks.

They are making it difficult for me to get my meds again though. Without insurance/patient assistance, all my meds would be almost $10,000 and a few have prior authorizations which means I probably won't be able to get them. I hate this country's healthcare system.
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"Why not?"
"Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them."
"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"
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  #784  
Old Sep 13, 2021, 01:00 PM
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Hi @Sapien, welcome back from the hospital. It sounded helpful. I'm glad. Sorry you are having trouble getting your meds though. They never make it easy. HUGS Kit
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  #785  
Old Sep 14, 2021, 07:15 AM
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I'm having a good day so far. Had to take a PRN for voices this morning; it helped a lot. Another crummy night's sleep though. I hope the pharmacy worked on my meds and the prior auth's went through.
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"I don't know what I'm looking for."
"Why not?"
"Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them."
"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"
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  #786  
Old Sep 14, 2021, 04:40 PM
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I'm doing well. I'm back on Cymbalta. It's helping me sleep and it works on my moods.
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‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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  #787  
Old Sep 14, 2021, 06:49 PM
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Mental illness is painful sometimes.
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  #788  
Old Sep 15, 2021, 12:48 AM
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Every time I call the pharmacy they tell me to call at a later date. If tomorrow they screw with me like that I'm calling the hospital and telling them they keep putting it off and to cancel the order and give me risperdal tablets (we had this plan set up because we know pharmacies/insurance companies). I need a shower badly.
__________________
"I don't know what I'm looking for."
"Why not?"
"Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them."
"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn, Deilla, SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
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  #789  
Old Sep 15, 2021, 10:19 AM
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I don't feel well today. I'm unwell physically and emotionally. I think I need more sleep.
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  #790  
Old Sep 15, 2021, 11:14 AM
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It's difficult.
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  #791  
Old Sep 15, 2021, 01:36 PM
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HUGS everyone. It seems everyone (me too) is having a hard time right now. Nothing about MI is easy. Nothing about this disorder is easy.
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  #792  
Old Sep 15, 2021, 02:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
HUGS everyone. It seems everyone (me too) is having a hard time right now. Nothing about MI is easy. Nothing about this disorder is easy.
I don't think I've talked to a psych doc or NP and them not mention how tough schizoaffective is.
We're all total badasses just by surviving
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"I don't know what I'm looking for."
"Why not?"
"Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them."
"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"
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  #793  
Old Sep 15, 2021, 03:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapien View Post
I don't think I've talked to a psych doc or NP and them not mention how tough schizoaffective is.
We're all total badasses just by surviving
True that!
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  #794  
Old Sep 15, 2021, 03:27 PM
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WastingAsparagus WastingAsparagus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapien View Post
I don't think I've talked to a psych doc or NP and them not mention how tough schizoaffective is.
We're all total badasses just by surviving

Yeah! I'll take that.
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  #795  
Old Sep 16, 2021, 04:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
HUGS everyone. It seems everyone (me too) is having a hard time right now. Nothing about MI is easy. Nothing about this disorder is easy.
Thank you, @SlumberKitty!
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"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller)

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  #796  
Old Sep 16, 2021, 02:14 PM
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I feel a little better today. I feel a little anxious but I don't want to take anxiety medication (yet). I'll see if it goes down if I do some breathing exercises. I feel a little more steady or stable or something today.
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  #797  
Old Sep 17, 2021, 02:15 AM
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I quit vaping. Today will make 2 days. I feel like **** on top of everything else. My only comfort is to sleep with my cats.
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‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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  #798  
Old Sep 17, 2021, 06:05 AM
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That's an awesome comfort to have, Deilla! I love sleeping with my fur babies. Hope you feel better, and good for you for quitting!

I have an appointment with my pnurse today and I'm unsure if it's over the phone or online. Everything's been over the phone, but the hospital that set it up said it was online (and they've gotten things wrong before). I hope it's online because I haven't seen her face in over a year and a half.
__________________
"I don't know what I'm looking for."
"Why not?"
"Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them."
"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn, Deilla, SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
Deilla
  #799  
Old Sep 17, 2021, 12:10 PM
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I guess I'm ok at the moment.
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"Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot)

"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller)

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Hugs from:
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  #800  
Old Sep 17, 2021, 12:36 PM
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I'm feeling on emotional overload at the moment. I'm doing an IOP and it's a lot of intensity. It's good because I'm learning a lot but it's bad because it is so intense all the time. Today I have an appointment with the individual therapist--J in about an hour and a half and we are going to have to talk about my SH relapse so I am not looking forward to that. I think I am numbing out so I don't have to feel because I'm on emotional overload. Oh yeah and stupid hallucinations been bothering me this week.
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