Are they real?

To me it's a kid's holiday. It's all about costumes and candy.

I remember my son's first trick or treat. A bunch of us got together. He must have been about 4 or 5. I explained to him before hand that we would ring the bell and when they answered, the kids would all say, "Trick or treat!" And the people would give them candy. Well, I could tell my son didn't believe it, but he was willing to humor me.

So the first few houses we went to, no one was home. I remember he gave me a look of such pity, as if to say, "You really believe this will work, don't you?" Finally we started getting some candy, and he loved it.

One year, when he was 11, we lived in the U.S. Virgin Islands. I didn't know they didn't celebrate Halloween there. So I put him in a costume and went door to door. What a fiasco! I think they thought Halloween was some kind of satanic holiday. Needless to say we got no candy that Halloween. At one house my son said, "Trick or treat!" and the lady kept saying, "What?" And he'd repeat, "Trick or treat!" Finally she just said, "I'm sorry, I don't understand English."

It's to quiet over here, we had 2 knocks that totalled 5 kids and they weren't that young either, but there are a lot of kids in the street.

It was the same when I used to go when I was younger, just me and my best friend.

They were on about wanting to ban it here, that's just pointless.

When i was growing up nobody did trick or treat, either in Ireland or where i lived in England. You stayed in, partied with friends and family (in Ireland the tradition was that you stayed in overnight, and didn't leave till dawn next day.) The kids bobbed for apples, poured wax into water to tell the future, everybody sang, and then later on people would start to tell creepy stories. (I told some really creepy ones, it's still my job when I'm home at Christmas to scare all the kids). The whole thing was very different from trick or treating. Some places I lived in, inner cities, you'd get quite grown up teenagers turning up, not even in costume, demanding treats, and if the treat wasn't good enough then they'd egg your house anyway.

It's partly the occult aspects of halloween, partly the alieness of trick or treating to what I'm used to, and partly the fact that I've had some horrid experiences connected to the season. For example, i used to work at a sanctuary up North, and one day got a call out for an injured cat. turned up, and discovered that she'd been staple gunned to a wall in a cruciform position, with occult writing around her. (she survived by the way.)

i know a lot of people who enjoy it, but i'm a misery guts. I don't like Christmas much either.

I was just reading the wikipedia article about trick or treating, and I ran across this:

It reminded me of when I was 8. We lived in St. Louis that year. I was so confused when one of the neighbors dragged us into their house and insisted we sing a song before they'd give us any candy. (I think they may have asked for a joke first, but we didn't know one, so they settled for a song.) I remember thinking they didn't understand the whole concept of trick or treat. Now I see it was just the local custom. What a hoot! 42 years later I figure it out!

Yes, you hear about stuff like that here too. One of my coworkers had a girl of about 16 show up at her door one Halloween - just wearing regular clothes, no costume. She opened up her purse for my coworker to drop in the candy, and my friend could see the girl's contraceptive in the purse.

Of course that's unusual enough that she shared the story at work the next day.

My granny wouldn't give any money to carollers if they didn't sing in tune, or didn't know the words. Sometimes we have carollers turn up, sing a couple of lines, then stand staring at you. we used to sing a whole set ... and we'd rehearse, and sing in different parts, tenor, alto, mezzo, soprano (never could find a baritone). Nowadays when anyone turns up singing just a few notes I ask them to come back when they know some actual songs to sing.

Once my grand aunt was annoyed by the secular nature of the hymns some young carollers picked. She knew the lads because they went to the local school, and assumed the songs were secular because the lads were protestant. Anyway, one of the boys, to please her, sang "veni creator spiritus" in Latin, and she gave him five punts. (quite a bit in those days.) She told me he had the most beautiful soprano voice she'd ever heard. "That boy could sing."

Well, I would hope so. His name was Paul Hewson... he grew up to be Bono.

I've never went carolling before - but I can't sing very well. Lol it's funny Bono sang for your aunt when he was a kid.

I decided to go to college, not because I want to - but I don't know how long I have left and I don't want to struggle for money later in life.
I'm going to take something to keep me safer, I told the sleeper cells about it, don't think they care though, so it's just the anxiety to deal with, without my meds it's harder, but I need to save myself.

I think they are going to stop my benefits as well - because the government want only the people that are really ill to be on them, so I need to find a job as well, have no idea what, well I'll need a find a few since I'll hardly ever make it in, so I won't last long with just one.

It'll suck because they will keep sending sleeper cells to see me

Kureha, if you go in with an advocate and tell them exactly what you tell us, then you'll probably still get your benefits. That's one benefit of nobody believing in sleeper cells, if you tell them the truth they'll think you're crazy, and you'll still get your benefits. I still get benefits, even though with medication I'm relatively "normal", because the residual symptoms are bad enough to impact my daily life, and make finding work almost impossible. If you're suffering from anxiety, and talk to them about sleeper cells, and then let your advocate talk freely, I think you'll still get the benefits. And I think with all that you have to go through you're entitled to at least something good come out of it.

I don't think I've ever seen carollers in real life - only on tv or in movies.

That's a nice story about Bono. I just looked at his wikipedia page. Looks like he was meant to be raised Catholic but ended up Anglican. His mom died when he was 14. Wonder if that was before or after he sang for your aunt.

Even the nickname Bono comes from Bono Vox (bonavox) - Latin for good voice.

He went to a protestant school, which was quite difficult in Dublin in some ways. The Catholics were a bit distrustful of "those boys", but some of them were active visiting old people and popping to the shops for shutins etc. That's how my aunt knew his name. He and one of the other school boys visited one of her neighbours once a week to check she had enough food in, and have tea and cookies.

I always worry about my son's benefits too. I'd like him to get a job, but honestly I don't think he could hold one at this time. It's more than having odd beliefs. Even though he has high normal intelligence, he can't seem to do a job successfully. I can't figure it out. He just can't follow a series of instructions, or he forgets things easily. Things don't go into memory right, or can't be retrieved from memory. I don't know what it is. I wish I could afford to have him evaluated by an education specialist or something.

Anyway it doesn't feel safe relying on the government for benefits, but I don't know what else we can do. He's got a few jobs over the last couple of years, but he always gets fired quickly. Even when he's "stable."

I think he has a hard time being around other people. Then he gets stressed, and that makes it even harder for him to think clearly. Then he screws something up and gets fired. Ironically he tends to get lower level type jobs because he has little experience. But those are the jobs that tend to be harder for him. Customer service means working with people all day. Stocking at WalMart didn't work, because he has a horrible sense of direction, so he'd get lost in the store. They tried to have him stack boxes on the pallets in the back of the store, but he could never learn to stack them properly, so the boxes would all fall when they tried to lift them with the forklift.

I know that some of the mental health centers around here hire people for peer support. I think he should look into it. He'd be working with people, but it would be different than customer service where you're just a cog processing the customer's order.

Anyway he's meeting with his new voc rehab case manager tomorrow. We had to move him to a different county office because the first office wasn't doing anything for him. They were supposed to buy him a cheap car so he could get to a job or school. The new case manager told him they'd get him a bus pass or something. Very irritating, because clearly she didn't notice that we live 15 miles out in the country; the bus doesn't come anywhere near us. It only runs in town.

I get so mad at these idiots. They'll shove as many pills down his throat as they can get their fool hands on, but when it comes to helping find a job - which is worth 1000 Zyprexa pills as far as his mental health is concerned - they're dragging their heels. He's ready now for a job or school. In fact he's been ready for a couple of months. He's starting to get depressed because he has nothing to do but sit around the house and be alone with his thoughts.

Hi Costello,

you remember when I had that problem with my neighbours, and my landlady decided I wasn't allowed to get a dog? Well, my care coordinator tried to persuade the landlady that a dog was important for my mental health (it didn't work out) but she did say that having a dog is very important in patient recovery. The fact of having someone to care for, who won't judge you, is very restorative. Perhaps if he had a little dog who he could feed, clean up after, take out for little walks might do a lot for his self esteem.

Dogs can be stressful too, I know that, when they bark all night, or slip their lead and run off into the deep woods, but perhaps the benefits would outweigh the cons?

It might just end up being an extra burden on you though, if you ended up being the one to walk, poop and feed. You know best if it's feasable. Just a thought...

I'm not sure, I don't think they will think gang stalking is a good enough reason. Is a lawyer an advocate?

They are sending a questionnaire to decide then a visit if needed.

College is bad enough and that's Only 2 days

A district nurse from your doctor's surgery would be an advocate.

The thing is, they won't believe in the gang stalking. This is one case where your telling them the truth about what you're thinking will have a positive effect. They'll think, "she's talking about gang stalking, we know there's no such thing, therefor she's delusional, therefor we need to pay her benefits because she's obviously ill."

Sorry college is going badly for you. Twice this week I haven't been in to my voluntary work because I couldn't face the bus. I'm going to pay for a taxi next week.

My nurse took her dog when we used to go outside

MIND will also help you with benefits, and may be able to access advocacy for you locally. Put your post code in the box, and you'll get local phone numbers. If you're like me and you don't like talking on the phone sometimes, see if you can get your Mum or someone else to do it for you.

http://www.mind.org.uk/help/mind_in_your_area

I like getting taxis, the metro is full of sleeper cells.

Sorry you couldn't make it to your voluntary work.

I'll ask my nurse about it as well and I'll check that website, I hate talking on the phone as well.

Well everyone believes me when I talk about it, they just don't believe it happens, well my nurses are starting to understand

When you are assessed for benefits explain to them that you are more comfortable using taxis, and why. If they don't believe in sleepercells then that will count towards you getting a bonus for travel. I am on the lower rate for transport, since I often have episodes on public transport, and either jump off the bus at the wrong stop, or freeze up and don't get off at all.

I'm sorry you weren't able to get the dog.

I doubt he would want a dog. He has got really attached to one of my cats, though. And the cat has decided that my son is his person. He's made it clear he prefers my son to me. My son has asked if he can take the cat with him when he gets his own apartment, and I'm ok with that. (Interestingly, my son and the cat have the same birth date too. The cat was born on my son's 25th birthday.)

I really think he needs to be out among people.

Got to be said, people are more challenging than animals, but ultimately better for you. Since I've been involved in church things have been getting better for me. Could your son do anything like art therapy, or meet up at support groups?

I'll mention that as well.

Can't advance my appt with my nurse

Really don't want to go to college, I have to go today to sort things out for the presentation on Friday. I'm super anxious. I wanted to get legal highs, my nurse said it won't help though

And cats are harder than dogs. I just put "rules for the cat" in my "stuff" photo album.

He doesn't want to go to church. I don't know of any appropriate support groups. He's not interested in the classes offered through parks and rec or the art center.

My son is way more social than I am. I've taken that Myer-Briggs personality test a number of times, and every time I end up on the extreme end of introverted. My son took it recently - to humor me - and he ended up as an extrovert. He's not out at the extreme end, but he's clearly in the extrovert range. He likes people and he wants to be around them.

The problem is he's so very, very sensitive that he comes away from every interaction with little wounds that he then picks at. He'll sit and ruminate for hours about tiny, tiny things that someone said or did to him years ago. I think the solution to this is not to isolate, but to work on building the skills to be around people without being wounded.

He's going to find a way to be with people. He finds not so good people to hang with and it leads in bad directions. I think he ends up with these people, because he's so desperate for companionship, but he doesn't have the self-esteem to seek out better people.

So I'm talking to him about self-esteem, about being himself, about not taking things too personally. I'd rather see him practice and fail a bit than to play it too safe.

Last night he was texting back and forth with some girl he met on a dating site. She was asking him about his education, his job, his living situation. I could tell he wanted to lie to her, to make himself more "acceptable" in what he imagined she would think of him. The truth is he's not that much into education, he doesn't have a job, and he lives with his mother. I advised him to tell her the truth. If she doesn't like him the way he is, she doesn't like him. So, when he told her he lives with his mom, she said, "Cool! You're saving money."

My son is a kind soul who doesn't like himself the way he is. He wants to be tough and important. He wants to be smart and sexy and impress people. He doesn't seem to understand that the qualities he already has are so much rarer and more valuable. If he could just be himself, he could find friends and a wife who would cherish him for the fine qualities he possesses. It frustrates me that he'd rather trade in his gentle heart for bulging biceps and a rock hard six pack.

Sorry I guess I got off track there.

Kureha - I don't know too much about the benefits in the UK, but in the States, I gotta agree with Mgran that it can work to your benefit to just tell the the truth, let them not believe it, and then you can get something for it.
I understand the benefits of tolerating the educational system, but it's so full of hostile elements I could never be there long. If you get through it you'll have one up on them though. You'll get to observe them and learn their tricks some.

Costello - in the States, you can mostly be getting benefits and be working part time, there's just limits on the hours or the amount of money you can make, so your son can do both at once. Big corporations usually have a big base of drones they can use to replace people, so he might have more luck working for a small business, like a small store or a small restaurant where the owner just owns that one place.
That's cool the cat likes him so much. That's a good sign.

I'll tell them about the sleeper cells and everything, see if it's good enough.
Just back from college, started getting anxious because it was dark outside and I saw the camera, they did something to me, I got a headache, think they are trying to get control.

I don't want to leave the house again

I think you might have got a headache because they didn't get through to you. I hate the cameras but they do have limits, it's possible to get around them. I wouldn't want to let them win by avoiding school if you need to be there. Otherwise, it's okay to stay in. Let yourself re-cooperate from being there.