Roll call

it is'nt even just political veiws for me... its simply when ever i say my point of veiw, it's not right according to "Them" who ever them might be. I find it very difficult to say anything that has to do with my view whether it is at work or church or social gathering... I find the only way to not be demonize is to just not speak my mind... well thats me anyway

Im here

lil-angel-wings

Your comment reminds me how inconsistent I am in relating to others. Sometimes I jump in feet first, sword blazing, and defend what I believe is right. That often results in weeks of tremendous emotional instability for me. Just getting my blood boiling, even if I "win" the argument leaves me emotionally shattered and volatile.
I tend to back off when I see conflict looming, not because I don't care, but because I am learning that if I am to be of any use to anyone, I need to deal with things in a way that doesn't trigger instability. That can often be frustrating in itself, because I tend to feel like a wimp, and I still simmer with anger at injustice that "got away with murder". Sometimes I keep quiet because I just can't articulate a diplomatic and effective response.

On a happier note, I have just got back from 4 days of relaxing with my family at a country estate.

I slept Ok last night. Negative chatter in brain, but whats new. I read the paper and chatted with a friend over coffee. My wife still works part time and I brought her to work. I need to do some housework. I need to bring stuff to my step-son after school ends. I feel slightly discouraged, kinda like I'll never ever be happy and I should just accept that. I dunno...

Here and sleepy.

her and feeling drained due to this migrain

I know the feeling. Hang in there...

There are times where I feel a slave to meds and today happens to be one of those times.

miserable. and probably making everyone around me miserable too.

Here and happy.

I slept better than usual. A bit more hopeful about the future. I received som compliments for my guitar performence on facebook. That helps me to feel better. Going to see a dr with my wife today. It will help. Enjoy your day everyone

Home alone again. I don't like being home alone.

here

went to see T today

went okay

still have a slight headache but am fairing okay

Had doc appt yesterday (normal checkup) and appt with T today. Finally making progress into getting a psych eval. Feeling really hopeless today though. My husband and I are both so burnt out and taking care of our toddler is overwhelming us both. Had a conversion disorder episode this weekend. My arm became temporarily parylized. Didn't last long, but my arm is still pretty sore. This is the first time it's happened in about a year. Everything seems pointless, like nothing is ever going to get better.

I slept well. I am OK, mostly. Kinda lonely.. I wish someone would post something. Thanks.

Here and having an amazingly productive day at work!

Wish I had something really wise to say. Just take care of yourself. Get as much rest as you can. And remember everyone has set backs.

I would have posted earlier, but like I said above, I'm having an amazing day at work. Pretty soon I'll have all my work done, and they'll have to fire me or something.

Glad you slept well.

thanks. Glad your day is going well.

hurray my headache is gone... that only took three days... My T was quit surprised at how well I am doing still with out meds... i do struggle at times ecspecially under great stress, but i have been staying home alot and working on things at my own pace... when i go to work like today i just keep my head down and do my job not talking to anyone unless i have to... and at church i am trying really hard to just keep my mind on scripture and not pay attention to others comments... after all nobodys perfect and if i wanted to attend a perfect church it would no longer be perfect with me in it....

Still fairly miserable as well as sleepless BUT had an idea...

I'm here.
Still off psych meds. Been a fairly smooth ride lately, considering how things have been going for the last 2 years.
Mostly just keeping bipolar symptoms under close watch. Mood chart was a straight line normal for 2 weeks, then I saw a Dr for a spider bite (going bad) and to deal with the shoulder pain I have been struggling with for the last 6 months. He gave me an injection of Celestone Soluspan - a corticosteroid to relieve inflammation. He warned me to watch for reactions given my bipolar history.
Nothing happened, except it hurt like crazy. But the next day, I found myself in a strongly mixed state. Pressured driving, agitation when fetching kids from school, horrible impatience with other people, feeling like the world was out to get me. Suicidal ideation flashed by regularly and had to be firmly fought with to keep it at bay. By the time I got home I was so depressed I could hardly read or do any work. I felt numb. Then by evening it began to lift. Now 1.5 days after the jab, I have just been to gym (only 15 mins to work on my shoulders and light cardio) and now I feel like I am cooling down slowly from a hypomanic high.
Guess I am just extremely sensitive to substances in my body....

I slept so-so- I slept soundly though. I took my son to school. I have to pay for some stuff for my son that I can barely afford today. It isn't an option, though. I want him to have cool stuff also, even if I have to eat tuna fish and mac and cheese. thanks,

Here and happy. It's Friday. This job is the best thing that's happened to my son in a long time. We're both relaxing with it; it looks like it may work out.

Can you tell us what your idea is?

Here and happy. A lovely Saturday morning.

I feel empowered today. I slept alright.

my sis is staynig with us this week end and i think we are going to go see lorax...

Here and okay.

My niece's b-day party is today. She turns 11 on March 6.