Roll Call Take Two

here, new morning.. new day. still no transportation. just a bike or my feet to carry me. spending time with the cat and a.m. cofffee.this morning. bought the lottery tick. no gambling is allowed by law over the internet in our State. The State competes with the casinos for revenue. what a racket! temps in the 90's again today. when i can't sleep, sometimes it helps to write down all my troubles/anxieties into a journal, "release them" for the evening, then my mind is calm enough to return to a quiet and dark room for proper sleep. have a great day everyone. i think my ptsd is getting better.

Went out to breakfast with hubby this morning, then he took son to visit his parents till tomorrow, so I am free and alone at home. Came back, got back in pj's and enjoyed staying in bed until 2pm. It was wonderful. Now off for some girl time with a friend and then back to PS3 or bed, whichever I prefer. Finally a day of relaxation and peace.

I'm here. Pissed off at my mother for living a lifestyle she can't afford and then *****ing at me for not immediately becoming a lawyer so I can give her money.

here also... gonna stay in today. almost got hit by a god d***** car while crossing the street this morning on my bicycle. they force me to ride a bike instead of helping me get a car. I am an excellent driver. I once held a chauffer's license. I too, am pissed today. all the lies. all the trauma's, all the drama... I'm sick of it all ! i'll just sit here and contemplate my navel today. (with a beer in hand, of course.) my only redemption, my only happiness.. BEER.

You have to give her money?

try going without money alltogether. i have no functional household budget.
it pisses a man off when he is not self-sufficient. **angry** at myself...

Sorry you're having a bad day. I noticed you wrote on your profile that your primary concern was drug and alcohol abuse. Do you think that drinking is a good idea? I'm concerned that if you get drunk, your inhibition levels will be lowered and you might get in a fight with that upstairs neighbor.

Here.

I'll add my voice to fish and guru. Also having a rough time. My son and I had a huge fight on Friday evening. I think he's embarrassed by it. He got upset with me because I offered him a piece of kiwi. He has this thing where if someone offers him food or drink, he feels like he has to take it and eat/drink it. Then he feels angry or paranoid. He can't politely say 'no.' Apparently his only two options were to take the kiwi or to scream obscenities at me. Saying 'no, thank you' is gay. Only gay men can politely decline an offer of a piece of kiwi. To straight men, them's fightin' words. Sigh!

So, like I said, he was embarrassed at how angry he got, and things had calmed down my Saturday morning. But he's still not thinking clearly. I'm feeling discouraged.

There was a man who did this and then wrote a book about it:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Moneyles.../dp/1851687548

Me giving her money was apparently her plan for getting out of debt.

I probably said once that I would help her out if I were ever in a position to do so and she took it as some kind of done deal.

i'm limiting my alcohol consumption to only 2 drinks today and every day, pretty much. I am still suffering from ptsd symptoms and the neigbor issue upstairs has not been resolved, albeit, i must say it has been quiet the past couple of days. the management did speak with him, but no police report was filed because i am afraid of any contact with the police. so, no. .. sorry about the misperception costello, i am limiting my alcohol today because, i have finally learned, "Drinking affects judgement."
thanks for your concerns.
i was upset this morning because it's FATHER's DAY and this is difficult for me. sorry.

Fish- nobdy in America lives 100% off the kindness of strangers.
there's always barter though.

I think he did a combination of dumpster diving and bartering his labour for things. I haven't actually read the book, but I'd be surprised if gardening didn't play a huge part in it.

He's also in England, so the government would give him a lot of things an American wouldn't get -- the most obvious being health care.

He also has a blog: http://www.justfortheloveofit.org/blog
I find it a bit insufferable, if interesting.

lol... Well, at least she has a plan!

Ouch! I'm always telling people I'll help them out if I ever win the lottery. I hope no one's actually banking on it.

My younger son tells me sometimes that he'll help me out if he's ever in a position to do so. I can't imagine actually holding him to it. Or even fantasizing about it. (I fantasize more about the lottery.) When he says that, what I think he means is: "I love you, mom, and I wish I could do something to make your life easier." I imagine there's also a bit of: "I'd like to be a hero and rescuer, so that people will admire me."

Ah, Father's Day. I barely notice it. My dad is dead. My son's dad left years ago. My younger son was adopted by me (a mother) alone. Even my sisters are both divorced/separated. One's ex-husband is still active as a parent to her sons, but the other's husband is on the run from the FBI - whereabouts unknown, probably in a foreign country.

I'm sorry it's triggering you. Is it because of your relationship with your dad, or do you have children of your own?

My promise was more along the lines of not letting her live in penury while I am in relative affluence, not "I will kill myself working in a highly competitive and stressful job so you can continue to waste money on **** nobody wants or needs and sit on all the land you own that nobody uses and that is constantly getting you in trouble because you're too dumb to maintain it properly or remember to pay the right taxes."

I hadn't even realised it was father's day. My own father is sitting demented in a care home somewhere.

I couldn't begin to describe the love between father and son. you don't get it, because your a woman. there's been a lot of male bashing going on out there and therein lies the problem. I come from a traditional nuclear family. I realize this is not the norm anymore, but when you are raised with certain values, those values stick! FYI- have no children of my own.

I resent the notion that people (regardless of gender/sex) can't understand familial ties because they weren't raised in traditional nuclear families.

Ok, now I'm confused. What is a traditional nuclear family.
Is it some kind of inside joke, because I have never heard of this.
Can somebody please get me up to speed?

Sardean, it's just a family where the mother and father are a couple (implicitly, a married couple) and there are children.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_family

I'm not sure who this was addressed to. I was raised in a "traditional nuclear family" too. Not sure what values I may have got there that couldn't be had elsewhere.

Sorry you think there's a lot of male bashing going on out there. I don't think I've bashed any males. I don't tend to judge people in large classes like that. There's good and bad in all groups. In fact I'd go even further and say there's good and bad within each individual.

In my view there's a lot of bashing of all sorts based on gender, race, age, educational level, religion, wealty, etc., etc., etc. I think we human just like to simplify things by lumping people into groups and believing we know about that person based on the group we've put them into. Saves time thinking!

I hope your day improved later on.

I say I'm from a dysfunctional Christian home (everything's peachy in public and at church, home is where the fighting is kept).
Doing okay today. Hubby's stressed, still mucho family drama.
Found out tonight that a friend's dad just attempted suicide. I hate being this far away, and not being able to do anything to help. At least I have other friends that are there to help support them. The dad's going to be physically okay (bullet just missed his heart), but I don't know when he'll be released. I've known the guy for my entire life. He's a really great person (with a really messed up past), I hope his family makes it through this okay.
Too tired to think right now.
Going to bed.

Hi. I risked going to the doctor because my PMS is really bad today. She was an idiot who suggested talk therapy. Talk therapy?!? For PMS??? From what I am 90% certain are going to be under-trained, young idiots with "therapy diplomas" who have no ****ing clue what they're on about anyway and instead just regurgitate self-help maxims?
It has just convinced me more than competent medical advice is beyond my ability to acquire now that somebody has "diagnosed me" with "schizophrenia". Bastards.

ETA: Day getting better. Saw my solicitor about my malpractice case and I had a stroke of PURE LEGAL GENIUS. I found a way to join in to my English case all the psychiatrists in Canada and the US that mistreated me, which is good because Mr. Solicitor thought the weakest part of my case was that it wasn't just the UK psychiatrists who were malpractice-y

Here. Monday morning again.

I've now completed 7 full days eating "clean" (not really induction because I'm eating quite a bit of fruit, mostly blueberries, and yogurt). I've lost 4 pounds, and my blood pressure is coming back down. I was really worried about the blood pressure which had risen to the 170/95 range. It had been in te 150/90 range, now it's back down to the 135/85 range - so better than before. I even had a reading of 118/85 yesterday. It was 132/82 this morning. I'm very pleased.

ETA: My back and hip pain are much improved too. I'm wondering if it's associated with diet.

Yeah, if they don't know what's wrong, they think it'll all in your head.