Roll Call Take Two

Here.

Ok, guys, here's my new plan: I win the lottery, become fabulously wealthy and never have to work again.

Alright, it's not a plan, it's fantasy. But it looks good right at this minute.

I could do with that as well lol.

Hi. Here. Skivved off work to go on my date. He didn't rape me. This feels like a success in my book.

Here. Sick...again... my immune system is **** and now that my toddler is socializing more I feel like I'm never not sick. Ugh. Plus totally stressed out from family drama and my husband feels stuck between his mom and me so I'm trying to hold everything in to ease his stress. Just feeling really overwhelmed right now.

here. just returned from clinic. meeting with the RN, MSN, NP -- a better meeting today. trust remains an issue.
but, i see myself getting better.

I feel really sick today. This always makes me feel guilty. I shouldn't complain.

I had a real breakdown in therapy today. I may have just cried for an hour. I never cry around others.

I don't know if I actually fit in this forum, whether my music hallucinations were some kinda fluke or part of a psychosis-related illness.

But I feel overwhelmed. It's overwhelming just to think of what's overwhelming me, not even thinking about them, but only mentally listing them. If that makes sense. I'm tired from work tonight which feels more impossible every day as I wait to hear on my SSI application. What a relief it would be to get SSI... I'd be able to pay off my credit cards, fix my car, have enough income to maybe work less, and actually make my bills each month. But they'll probably deny me. State denied me... somehow I make too much... I can't imagine how anyone's supposed to qualify while maintaining rent... and stuff...

Anyway. Life sucks and I wish I could die. But that's just default mode for me.

here and up very early this morning.. will walk on my treadmill and try to focus on things other than mental illness for a while. a.m. coffee... and watching a little American news about a Walenda guy who is going to walk high above Niagra Falls in New York State later today on a tightrope.. wow, talk about courage! bet this guy is focussed on his goal. that's what we all need .... a little focus. IMHO

Here. Had a terrible night filled with dreams/visions of me torturing every psychiatrist who ever so much as speculated that I might be ill.

Here.

One of my coworkers told me yesterday she'd found a new job. I'm so freakin' jealous!

I'm busy pondering life's little mysteries:

How come no matter how much I clean, my room is never actually clean?
How come they always advertise loo roll with kittens and puppies? I don't want to rube either on my bum.
How come the more of a man's penis you can see on the street, the more likely it is that he's gay?
Why do bottles of pop have that flower shape at the bottom?
And so on.

Because you keep re-entering it. Try vacuum sealing it! Then you can just gaze admiringly at your super clean room!
[/quote]How come they always advertise loo roll with kittens and puppies? I don't want to rube either on my bum.[/quote]
Yes, but it beats the alternative. I don't want to see any realistic enactments of what it's for.
[/quote]How come the more of a man's penis you can see on the street, the more likely it is that he's gay?[/quote]
Um......what?
[/quote]Why do bottles of pop have that flower shape at the bottom? [/quote]
So you look like a pretty flower while you're drinking it!
And so on.[/quote]

Oh dear, my quoting is all messed up. But I think it's still readable. (hopefully)

thinking about walking over to the gas station to buy a lottery tick.
to chicken S*** or too lazy. not sure which. perhaps a little of both.
the song by classic rock group STYX of "Too much time on my hands" seems to apply to me today. feels like i have no direction or purpose today. lost my motivation to become bi-lingual. started a Spanish lessons home-study course and just kinda quit in the middle of the course. Wow! talk about not sticking with a goal. i could just beat myself up. but, instead, i'll just pour myself a beer and try to stay cool.
It's hot here today.

It's hot here too. Maybe you can walk to the store a little later when it's a bit cooler? I am cleaning to keep busy, but that's my normal stand by.

How come they always advertise loo roll with kittens and puppies? I don't want to rube either on my bum.[/quote]
Yes, but it beats the alternative. I don't want to see any realistic enactments of what it's for.
[/quote]

But couldn't they just say, "This is loo roll. You know what to do." On it? Why are they advertising this, anyway!?!

How come the more of a man's penis you can see on the street, the more likely it is that he's gay?[/quote]
Um......what? [/quote]

You don't notice that?! I see so much penis through men's trousers in London . . . altogether too much. The men are always gay.
Only ever saw naked penis at the occupy protests, though.

All the Spanish I know is, "Hola, que tal?" and also, "Quiero dio mas cervesas, por favor." So you're probably doing better than me, Guru!

Can you buy lottery tickets on the internet over there?

Having never been to London, I suppose I can't argue. However, I object to the idea that gay men are more overtly sexual than straight men on principle.

And if a "loo roll" company ever put out a commercial saying, "you know what to do with it," I would be a loyal customer forever!

I would too, it was just something I noticed. Must be a fashion in the gay community to wear very skinny trousers right now?

I should go into advertising.

ETA: This is my favourite advert right now: http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2295/3847/1600/6.jpg

Okay, that's exceedingly clever.

Go buy the ticket. It will get you out and exercising a little bit!

So tired but can't sleep

Hope you got to sleep eventually.

I'm here. Somebody important died so I have to work from home on a Saturday *angry*