Roll Call Eight

oh man...just seeing what i said shows me i need to be in a hospital.

oh SHT and then i start thking "ONE SLIP UP INTO ONE OF THOSE PLACES AGIAN AND I CAN BE GONE FOR 1 OR MORE YEARS" and im not looking for that. i just need change.

oh sht you guys.

and then watch me go into one of those places - come back out - and im back in the same situation of not only right now but FALSE PROMISED HELP. A FACADE OF DECEITFUL F_KNG LIES.

I was looking up hotels how about the baymont Dallas/love field? It's like $65 on Priceline. Looks safe, has a pool free breakfast and wifi. You might be able to get something cheaper on Hotwire though. Just get away from everything familiar for a night and you may feel better. I actually saw in the ny times how one high functioning sz woman does this all the time, she uses the hotel as a respite. You also might consider inviting your dad along if you're at all worried about your safety, driving etc. then you'll have someone to talk to and eat with etc. I'm just a little worried about you driving that far because when I was sick I had visuals of the cars zigzagging on the road, the centerline was a zigzag too. Depends on how you are feeling sz-wise.

LOVE FIELD :O
thats over an hour away.
a few more hours away and i could be in the gulf of mexico

crackingslowly if you on here right now. look at my words.
shell know what im saying (maybe) when i say:

i dont know anyhwere past the george bush turnpike in richardson.

I'm falling apart. I don't know what else to say. I'm confused, disoriented, psychotic, and scared.

Thankfully I see my pdoc tomorrow so we can hopefully do something about this so I don't end up in the hospital because frankly that's where this is going if I don't get help.

I'm sorry atypical. I am glad you have an appointment tomorrow. I hope the doctor will be able to help you. I hate to feel scared. Hopefully you can just get through until your appointment and find some relief.

Ok maybe cracking slowly will know better...

no u did nothing wrong. im just taking in a lot right now.

i need a drink.

im sorry i was really trying to like joke around like. you know. idk. i was trying to make light of things. i didnt mean like anything nasty by that comment.

I'm sorry.

The horrible administrator at my work was fired and escorted out of the building today!! Hooray!! Woooooooo!!

I caved.

Well that didn't take me long. The stress of moving away elsewhere and being able to feed myself was unbearable to say the least. I know me all too well and know that kind of stress was a fast ticket to the psych ward. I'll do anything I can not to go down that road again if I can help it.

The Gulf of Mexico is 6 hrs from where I live which is close to downtown Dallas. So it would be even further for you Newtus!

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a rough time. I do hope you feel better very, very soon. Big hugs your way!

I don't know much about hotels near Newtus. I personally don't trust them because bad people are known to hang around those. The only hotels I "might" trust would be the nicer ones. And I'd have to research to find those. It would also depend on where Newtus wants to get a hotel.

Seeing the pdoc tomorrow hopefully he will lower my meds....fingers crossed...also hope I can sleep tonight I'm really nervous.

AD good luck with your dr tomorrow
Newtus: hope you feel better soon.

Yeah it's complicated...totally understand.

Good luck! I hope it goes well and that you can get some sleep.

Newtus: I hope you got some rest and are feeling a little less stressed this morning. I agree if you stay just one day or something at a hotel pick something on the nicer side vs. a cheap place. Bad people do tend to hang around those more often and that wouldn't be a good situation. If you're just going for one day and night, a nicer hotel is worth the extra price. Not like 5 stars or anything, but just something nicer.

Atypical: I hope you're also feeling better.

Sometimes: I hope your appointment goes okay.

I hope everything goes well for all of you. I hope your appt goes well Sometimes & that you were able to get some sleep.

AD I hope you're feeling better & hope your dr appt goes well too.

Newtus I hope you're having a good day & aren't feeling stressed.

For me, it's my 41st birthday today & I'm feeling a bit depressed over it. So many years have gone by & I don't feel like I've achieved much in my life. I do have 3 wonderful, healthy children to be proud of. But nothing else. I just wonder what this year of my life will be like. Hopefully good. I wished I could have just stayed in bed all day today but I had to come to my summer job. This is my last week here. Then back to my regular job that's filled with tons of stress! Ugh! I guess I should just be thankful that I'm able to put on a "mask" and go to work.

Went to go see my pdoc just yesterday and had my meds upped. I haven't slept in awhile so I'm hoping I can end this sleepless 32+ hour insomnia.

I'm spending a lot more time just in my room isolated because that's just what happens to make me comfortable at the moment. I hope everyone else is doing well

Happy Birthday Cracking Slowly!

I hope you have a wonderful day!

32 hours is a long time without sleep. I sure hope you can get some rest.

Happy Birthday Cracking Slowly! If you have cake have some for me.

Cracking Slowly, happy birthday! Yay for August born people because seriously I've never met someone born in August that I didn't like!