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  #526  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 12:14 PM
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Sometimes psychotic Sometimes psychotic is offline
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Originally Posted by The_little_didgee View Post
I am planning to go mushroom hunting in Quebec. Maybe I will be lucky and find some boletus edulis (King Bolete).
Awesome!
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  #527  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 12:14 PM
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Originally Posted by The_little_didgee View Post
Now I am really noticing the effects of the Abilify. I kind of miss the ESP. It was distracting and somewhat soothing.
I often miss feeling like I was very powerful magically. That's the one thing I feel is a loss to not having my delusion any more.

Newtus, if you're around I hope you're okay.
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  #528  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 12:28 PM
The_little_didgee The_little_didgee is offline
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Originally Posted by faerie_moon_x View Post
I often miss feeling like I was very powerful magically. That's the one thing I feel is a loss to not having my delusion any more.
The ESP has been a part of me for years so it feels like I have lost a bit of myself.
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  #529  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 12:32 PM
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You know I haven't seen any postings from Newtus in a few days. I'm worried about her. I sure hope she's okay.
  #530  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 12:35 PM
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Originally Posted by The_little_didgee View Post
The ESP has been a part of me for years so it feels like I have lost a bit of myself.
Yes, I feel exactly the same way. I feel like I lost a big part of me when that went away. I actually remember when it went away, actually. That was one thing I didn't lose when I forgot what happened. I remember one day just thinking "what happened to my magic?" I thought it was depression. I remember complaining to my husband about it, actually, that something had taken my magic away. It must have been some time after that my mind locked everything that had happened away from me.....

Hey, this is maybe a clue! Thanks!
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  #531  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 12:36 PM
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You know I haven't seen any postings from Newtus in a few days. I'm worried about her. I sure hope she's okay.
yes, I worry when she's quiet too.

Newtus, I know you're probably just not feeling well. Update when you feel up to it. Take care of youself.
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  #532  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 12:39 PM
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I just checked her status & it looks like the last time she was on PC was the 13th. That last post she left in Roll Call really worried me. I sure hope she's okay. I just sent her a PM. Hopefully we'll her from her soon. I'll check her blog & see if anything new is there.
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  #533  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 12:44 PM
The_little_didgee The_little_didgee is offline
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Newtus, I know you take short breaks, but your last post was worrisome. I also hope you are okay.
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  #534  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 12:46 PM
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I checked her blog and she hasn't posted anything on there in a few days either. The last blog post was worrisome too. She feels like she's not important. I left her a message on there and told her that she is important to us. And that we miss her on Roll Call. Hopefully she'll update us soon.
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  #535  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 04:12 PM
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Costello: I am so very sorry about your rotten neighbors. It's so sad what happened to your chickens.
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  #536  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 04:30 PM
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@ costello, I am very sorry about your chickens. I now picture you as one. Just pecking away at your keyboard...
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  #537  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 05:53 PM
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Originally Posted by costello View Post
I called the sheriff last week. The deputy talked to them first, then came over and told me that I just needed to communicate with them better - that would take care of the problem. Then he said 'dogs bark, there's nothing you can do about it.'

Tonight I got home and found that their dog had killed four of my chickens. I think they knew. I only found one body and the feathers of a second bird. I think the other two were on their property.

So I'm out in my yard trying to assess the damage, and their dog is barking and barking at me. Finally the woman says to it, "Good girl, good girl, bark, bark, let the whole world hear you." It was obviously aimed at me. There's no amount of 'communicating' that will help with those people's problem.
Costello, these people are not good people. This is terrible....

I would say start looking to move if you can, sadly.... these people are crazy enough to let their dog kill your chickens. What else might they do? Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this instance I'd rather be paranoid....
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  #538  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 07:29 PM
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Thanks for the support, everyone. Driving home tonight was stressful. I never know anymore what I'll find. Tonight, though, I found the last two chickens safe in their coop. I let them out to scratch around the yard a bit.

I've found a studio apartment near my work which might accept Bridey and Sylvie. Unfortunately the chickens would have to be rehomed. It's sad. So many people have told me they love the chicken stories on my facebook page and here, and they've been a source of great pleasure to me, but I can't stand living next to these people anymore.

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@ costello, I am very sorry about your chickens. I now picture you as one. Just pecking away at your keyboard...
I love that!
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  #539  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 09:25 PM
The_little_didgee The_little_didgee is offline
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I found a small bolete in the city right near my university!!!!!!!!! Now I am trying to identify it.

Two nights ago I dreamt I found some boletes.
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  #540  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 09:49 PM
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Originally Posted by costello View Post
Thanks for the support, everyone. Driving home tonight was stressful. I never know anymore what I'll find. Tonight, though, I found the last two chickens safe in their coop. I let them out to scratch around the yard a bit.

I've found a studio apartment near my work which might accept Bridey and Sylvie. Unfortunately the chickens would have to be rehomed. It's sad. So many people have told me they love the chicken stories on my facebook page and here, and they've been a source of great pleasure to me, but I can't stand living next to these people anymore.


I love that!
Great news but I'll sure miss your chicken stories too!
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  #541  
Old Aug 16, 2013, 12:47 AM
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In some places in the world, they don't believe that schizophrenia exists..
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  #542  
Old Aug 16, 2013, 02:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Alonewithmycat View Post
In some places in the world, they don't believe that schizophrenia exists..
I'd say that's cool but would worry they just consider it demon possession instead...not very optimistic right now. Of course that may be becuase it's 2:39am and I'm awake, ugh.

Where do you know?
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  #543  
Old Aug 16, 2013, 03:05 AM
The_little_didgee The_little_didgee is offline
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It is another night of broken up sleep. I woke up at 2:30 after sleeping for three hours. To pass time I am identifying my mushrooms.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The_little_didgee View Post
I found a small bolete in the city right near my university!!!!!!!!! Now I am trying to identify it.
My bolete is most likely Boletus luridus or Boletus rhodosanguineus.
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  #544  
Old Aug 16, 2013, 03:19 AM
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Originally Posted by The_little_didgee View Post
It is another night of broken up sleep. I woke up at 2:30 after sleeping for three hours. To pass time I am identifying my mushrooms.



My bolete is most likely Boletus luridus or Boletus rhodosanguineus.
Cool mushroom...I got four hours of sleep and am hoping to get tired again so you know if I get a couple more hours it should be pretty close to normal.
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  #545  
Old Aug 16, 2013, 03:33 AM
The_little_didgee The_little_didgee is offline
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I got four hours of sleep and am hoping to get tired again so you know if I get a couple more hours it should be pretty close to normal.
How many hours of snooze do you need?

Right now I am very alert, and I don't think I will be going back to bed anytime soon.

The quietness is nice at this time. I wish the world was always like this.
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  #546  
Old Aug 16, 2013, 03:40 AM
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How many hours of snooze do you need?

Right now I am very alert, and I don't think I will be going back to bed anytime soon.

The quietness is nice at this time. I wish the world was always like this.
Honestly 2....my sleep has been disrupted since getting sick and I never get tired in the day, it's just like normal even if I don't sleep, but if I'm getting 6 the pdoc is OK with that, otherwise if it lasts a week or more we start talking meds and I really don't want sleep aids but he's afraid of it triggering psychosis. Plus my dad will be checking up on me since I'm decreasing the meds. I hate having to answer to everyone plus I'm finding myself crankier than usual right now but hoping its temporary.
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  #547  
Old Aug 16, 2013, 03:46 AM
The_little_didgee The_little_didgee is offline
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Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic View Post
Honestly 2....my sleep has been disrupted since getting sick and I never get tired in the day, it's just like normal even if I don't sleep, but if I'm getting 6 the pdoc is OK with that, otherwise if it lasts a week or more we start talking meds and I really don't want sleep aids but he's afraid of it triggering psychosis. Plus my dad will be checking up on me since I'm decreasing the meds. I hate having to answer to everyone plus I'm finding myself crankier than usual right now but hoping its temporary.
You only need 2 hours of sleep everyday. I need at least 7.5 and even that isn't very restorative. 9 hours is what I seem to function well on. Now that I am on 1.5 mg of Abilify, I seem to require less sleep, since I feel very energetic. I think this is what has been messing with my sleep cycle.

Is the crankiness tolerable?

P.S. I hope my questions are not annoying you.
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Last edited by The_little_didgee; Aug 16, 2013 at 04:08 AM.
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  #548  
Old Aug 16, 2013, 08:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The_little_didgee View Post
You only need 2 hours of sleep everyday. I need at least 7.5 and even that isn't very restorative. 9 hours is what I seem to function well on. Now that I am on 1.5 mg of Abilify, I seem to require less sleep, since I feel very energetic. I think this is what has been messing with my sleep cycle.

Is the crankiness tolerable?

P.S. I hope my questions are not annoying you.
Sorry not to respond earlier...I managed to go back to sleep solid 7 hours. I normally need 9.5 hours of sleep so I can't just stay up whenever I want but if I literally cannot sleep because of the sickness it means I'm a little manic and 2 is enough. No your questions are not annoying. The crankiness is tolerable but I just noticed that I'm complaining and more negative even around here since reducing the dose to five and now 2.5. This was never part of my normal personality, most of my anger seems directed toward my pdoc right now which is actually unfair but it's a lot safer than other targets because he defends himself well. Basically I told him how I was worried about my diabetic friend eating a huge cookie, almost livid...he said we could just talk it through so we went point by point. Then when he asked me what book i was reading I told him it was a little anti psychiatry then I challenged him about the mechanism of action of the meds and the inaccuracy of the dopamine theory and he just put his feet up and told me a long story about his views on treatment and forced treatment. Completely dodged the mechanism but then I told him I'd take flower essences if they worked so I wasn't totally concerned with the mechanism. Then I started going off on peer support and how he could never provide the same thing and he just took it. In retrospect I was being entirely too challenging for someone wanting to go off the meds but I'm still happy I brought it up...at least I can trust him not to intervene just because I'm not being super happy to see him and pleasant like on the meds.
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  #549  
Old Aug 16, 2013, 08:46 AM
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@ sometimes - I don't know if you are still upset over it, but just fyi you can eat huge cookies when you are diabetic. You just need to then account for it with insulin. I am sorry you're feeling short tempered. I hate it when I know I'm acting that and its not my true feelings.
@little didgee - that's so exciting about the mushrooms you found! So fun!
@willow - I hope going back home will be okay for you. I feel like you're not too happy about it, but that you're also not hapy where you are. I hope getting some encouragement from your mum will turn out to be helpful. I'm glad you have your pup to take comfort from.

I did step two today and I am not feeling confident about it at all. I try not to want things so I don't get disappointed, but I want this. Now I will have to wait. I'm just gonna assume its all ruined now. I'm glad I asked for the whole morning off so I can sit and sulk for awhile.
A good thing - yesterday on our walk one of my dogs startled out a deer. His eyes got so big I thought they might fall right out of his head!
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  #550  
Old Aug 16, 2013, 08:48 AM
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I'm sorry that some of y'all had trouble sleeping last night. I actually forced myself to lay down at 10pm & forced myself to sleep. I'm normally never down that early. But I had to get up @ 5:30am to go to a training course that is an hour away from my home. I'm here now & feeling ever so uncomfortable. I'm in a huge room of well over 200 women and I managed to find a place to sit all alone. I wish I didn't have to be here but no choice. It's funny how I feel so alone & hopeless in a room full of so many people. I can't wait until this day is done.
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