[newtus]

all this being alone is making me go crazy or something.

for some reason idk i got into my car and drove fast with the door open. then almost killed myself. and then coming home almost got into an accident.

its really not like im not trying to meet people or get out of my house.

but sooner or later i told u - im gonna end up in hospital or dead or in jail. and i dont plan it. i dont try to do things that make me end up there. but its like everything builds up and ....
..
..
...its just killing me inside. it really is and no one around me knows what to do.
and like i said i didnt want to but i DID open up to my parents. even my mom and shes completely last resort person.

this is really gonna do me in. im serious.
like im dead serious.

[newtus]

i talked to my parents. i talked to 2 people my parents knew my age - they shot me down. and i havent heard back. that was 7 months ago. even tried to go ask about him face to face. family doesnt seem to keep up with him. i tried to talked to a teenager in the neighborhood that is my neighbors relative but they say hes always gone with his friends.

its not like i havent tried.
and ive been everywhere in this town. everywhere. i mean everywhere.

[newtus]

somebody please help me

[faerie_moon_x]

I know what you mean you don't plan it. That's how my SI is I don't plan it I just suddenly attack.

When did you open up to your parents? Just now? I know you don't want to go to the hospital. If you lived close I would be yoru friend and we could hang out. But I live far away. Like, really far from Texas.

I want to help but I don't know how.

[faerie_moon_x]

I want you to know I'm going home soon and might not be able to get on at home. But, I'm thinking of you and even though you're far away and I only know you on the forum you're my friend. I know that doesn't help much with your loneliness, but, even if I'm not online I'm still your friend and thinking of you.

[newtus]

:'( i am so sick and tired of people not knowing what to say to me. :'(



i feel like im gonna do something crazy right now.

Gee Newtus! I really wish I knew what to say that would help you. If you and I lived closer I would be your friend too. I am your friend online but I know that's not the same as in real person. I'm sorry you had that ordeal with your car. But I'm glad to hear that you can get in your car and drive if you wanted to go somewhere. I know that you live far out in the country area but is there any type of low stress jobs around there that you might could do? Like some type of volunteer work? Is there an animal shelter or a nursing home near by? I've done both of those myself and the animals and the elderly are always in need of someone to talk to. What do you think?

[newtus]

i thought about volunteering but i really need at least a few people to even talk to to get grounded enough to do something like that. i dont feel well. what im saying is this being alone is makng me more and more unwell. it would backfire if i jumped up and did something that required serious responsibility if im not already doing wwell. becuz it has before. i jumped into school and had an episode there. at both schools. jumped into a job many years ago and i had an episode there after two weeks. lots of other stuff too.

[newtus]

i had a fight with my dad.

all the pent up stress and loneliness is making me go off on people around me.

[Sometimes psychotic]

What about the phone....if you can't safely get out of the house why not call people on the phone and just talk. I still recommend Craigslist as a possible source of people....you don't even ever have to meet the people if you don't want to. There was this one guy I never even met because he reconciled with his wife who didn't understand the word platonic. Anyway he really enriched my life by emailing a couple of times a day. We sent pictures back and forth of what we were doing...he sent me a picture of some caterpillars that his kids found, I sent him a picture of the sunrise over the city. If you do want to meet people maybe you can do that too. Just put whatever you actually want in your ad or respond to someone else's.

Originally Posted by newtus

i thought about volunteering but i really need at least a few people to even talk to to get grounded enough to do something like that. i dont feel well. what im saying is this being alone is makng me more and more unwell. it would backfire if i jumped up and did something that required serious responsibility if im not already doing wwell. becuz it has before. i jumped into school and had an episode there. at both schools. jumped into a job many years ago and i had an episode there after two weeks. lots of other stuff too.

I totally understand that. Is there any shopping malls near you? I was thinking if there is then maybe you could go there and just walk around just to have the chance to be around people. Maybe get yourself a coke and just sit and people watch for a bit. Just to give yourself a chance to get comfortable in a public setting. What do you think?

[newtus]

Originally Posted by Cracking Slowly

I totally understand that. Is there any shopping malls near you? I was thinking if there is then maybe you could go there and just walk around just to have the chance to be around people. Maybe get yourself a coke and just sit and people watch for a bit. Just to give yourself a chance to get comfortable in a public setting. What do you think?

yea that could be good.

nearest mall i think is 35 miles away.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

What about the phone....if you can't safely get out of the house why not call people on the phone and just talk. I still recommend Craigslist as a possible source of people....you don't even ever have to meet the people if you don't want to. There was this one guy I never even met because he reconciled with his wife who didn't understand the word platonic. Anyway he really enriched my life by emailing a couple of times a day. We sent pictures back and forth of what we were doing...he sent me a picture of some caterpillars that his kids found, I sent him a picture of the sunrise over the city. If you do want to meet people maybe you can do that too. Just put whatever you actually want in your ad or respond to someone else's.

hm id have to rethink that. craigslist is scary. i only say that cuz my experience and someones experience i found out about long time ago.

What is the first letter of the city you live in? I know you don't want to write the name of your city online but you know where I live and if I can guess where you're at from the information you've already given me in a private message then I can do some research for you and see if I can find you some local stuff to do.

I know what county you are in but there are 69 cities in that county.

[The_little_didgee]

Are there activities you enjoy? What are your talents and interests? Little things like this help keep us sane. My interest in mycology keeps me level. I regularly hunt for fungi even when I feel stressed and awful. Afterwards, I always feel better. Mushrooms really do have magic in them!

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

Are there activities you enjoy? What are your talents and interests? Little things like this help keep us sane. My interest in mycology keeps me level. I regularly hunt for fungi even when I feel stressed and awful. Afterwards, I always feel better. Mushrooms really do have magic in them!

So that is why you took a walk in the rain the other day to search for mushrooms! Oh cool! I remember you shared that with us in a post.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by newtus

hm id have to rethink that. craigslist is scary. i only say that cuz my experience and someones experience i found out about long time ago.

I know it can be scary to meet in person but if you advertise for a penpal/phone pal you could do it anywhere safely. I assume you have a mobile phone so they can't find your address just by your phone. Also a lot of people want text buddies.
Just say exactly what you want in your ad and make sure to put it in the w4w platonic section...some of the other sections aren't as safe. I've meet like 7 people this way now...only 1 lasted but I enjoyed all the ones I've met.

[mimi2112]

I like Sp's idea and the meetup stuff--- you don't even have to meet in person. Just interacting via text and email, skype and phone. You can do it safely. Use common sense about not giving too much personal info. It would be worth at least looking into. How do you feel about talking on the phone? I have a cheap back- up phone for this type of thing. It's a pay- as- you -go cheap phone that affords me anonymity and privacy. Lot's of people have separate cheap phones like that. It's good for connecting with people and yet it's safe. It is a net 10 phone under 40 bucks, no contract or limits.
It's what I used when I was dating from Match.com, and also good for craigslist etc.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

Are there activities you enjoy? What are your talents and interests? Little things like this help keep us sane. My interest in mycology keeps me level. I regularly hunt for fungi even when I feel stressed and awful. Afterwards, I always feel better. Mushrooms really do have magic in them!

i used to have hobbies for years then i lost completely interest in them.

then i took up so more. but doing them doesnt make me happy anymore at all.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

Are there activities you enjoy? What are your talents and interests? Little things like this help keep us sane. My interest in mycology keeps me level. I regularly hunt for fungi even when I feel stressed and awful. Afterwards, I always feel better. Mushrooms really do have magic in them!

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I know it can be scary to meet in person but if you advertise for a penpal/phone pal you could do it anywhere safely. I assume you have a mobile phone so they can't find your address just by your phone. Also a lot of people want text buddies.
Just say exactly what you want in your ad and make sure to put it in the w4w platonic section...some of the other sections aren't as safe. I've meet like 7 people this way now...only 1 lasted but I enjoyed all the ones I've met.

perhaps this can be tried through like those iphone apps where u meet people instead? cuz people post their pics there.

Originally Posted by mimi2112

I like Sp's idea and the meetup stuff--- you don't even have to meet in person. Just interacting via text and email, skype and phone. You can do it safely. Use common sense about not giving too much personal info. it would be worth at least looking into. How do you feel about talking on the phone? I have a cheap back- up phone for this type of thing. It's a pay as you go cheap phone that affords me anonymity and privacy. Lot's of people have separate cheap phones like that. It's good for connecting with people and yet it's safe. It is a net 10 phone under 40 bucks, no contract or limits.
It's what I used when I was dating from Match.com, and also good for craigslist etc.

Oh that's a cool idea! I live near downtown Dallas, Texas and Newtus lives maybe 2 hours away from me. If we lived closer we could certainly hang out. I'm a safe person. A mother of 3. I just want to help Newtus any way that I can. I'm trying to research ideas for her on the computer. I know what county she lives in but there are 69 cities in that county. So I need more information in order to break it down.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by mimi2112

I like Sp's idea and the meetup stuff--- you don't even have to meet in person. Just interacting via text and email, skype and phone. You can do it safely. Use common sense about not giving too much personal info. it would be worth at least looking into. How do you feel about talking on the phone? I have a cheap back- up phone for this type of thing. It's a pay as you go cheap phone that affords me anonymity and privacy. Lot's of people have separate cheap phones like that. It's good for connecting with people and yet it's safe. It is a net 10 phone under 40 bucks, no contract or limits.
It's what I used when I was dating from Match.com, and also good for craigslist etc.

yea i actually did this.
i have a backup phone. i could possibly use that.

[newtus]

yea i PMd that - cracking.

you will see that im literally in the sticks.

f_ckng hate sticks now
i used to love trees but now the branches are assoicated with country life.
m_thrf_king sticks. hate them now.

Originally Posted by newtus

yea i PMd that - cracking.

Got it. Thanks. Let me look that area up and see if I can come up with any ideas. Don't worry I will keep your city private.