Roll Call 17

In the state of Texas Medicaid is only for women that are pregnant and for children. I believe it is different in some other states.

You were talking on here about accessible loaded guns at home and how you're impulsive and act on your suicidal impulses. Lots of us here were worried you would follow through and should go to the hospital, so I can understand why your T would be worried. Better to be safe than sorry You can talk of sui thoughts with T and pdoc but you have to make it very clear you have no intention of acting on them and have to actively keep yourself safe eg no Xanax-alcohol combos.

Good luck with your new pdoc tomorrow

*Willow*

yea thats what they told me. thats why i didnt qualify because i wasnt pregnant and all that stuff.

thanks ill try my best.
and yes i do have accessible loaded guns in my home.
and YOU KNOW WHAT its true. .. .. i think about suicide sometimes.
i cant lie or shouldnt (idk) about that.

BUT ima try to keep away from the guns.
its hard to keep away from the xanax and alcohol though.

A complete stranger over the internet just told me there's no way I'm mentally ill.

That's... amusing. Very amusing. In a sick, sad sort of way.

I can tell you this....I think about suicide too.....BUT I will NEVER act on it. I don't keep any guns in my apartment though. Sometimes I get so depressed and so stressed out with my MI that I think about it a lot.... But thinking about it is NOT doing it. I think it through always.

Wow! Like how the heck can they be so sure just by reading your words over the internet?

thank you for this. i will try to think through it first before i ever feel like acting on it.

who said that?!

Someone on a digital art site I use. It's just hilarious since most of the art I have done has to do with schizophrenia... LOL.

Hahaha, exactly. Like wow, that goes to show you how much you don't know... just geez. I can't believe people sometimes. Then again I don't know why this stuff continues to surprise me... hah.

do u know why they said that ?

Or were they complimenting you?
Idk. If not, im sorry.

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No idea. It kind of felt like a slap in the face to be honest, I've tried so hard to be honest about my illness that stuff like this is just really disheartening.

I doubt it, they were very defensive about it actually, saying how they hate doctors and stuff. I think whoever it is has had some bad experiences with mental health professionals which I can understand.

This is normal protocol. It's usually because the doctor is with a patient at the time. At our clinic the educators see people for half hour and hour time slots. They are booked solid all day and usually return calls during lunch hour or at the end of the day. None of our educators take lunch breaks. They eat at their desks and return calls. It's a non-stop job. It's only if someone unexpectedly cancels that they might be able to talk right when you call.

It's nothing personal to anyone. Just always remember the time you spent with a doctor and that when you call, they are doing the same for someone else. Think how upsetting it would be in the middle of your appointment the doctor is taking calls. I know sometimes a doctor might be interrupted if there is a big emergency. But, for the most part, doctors and patients both dont' like to have an appointment interrupted.

Don't be disheartened. Seirously it sounds like that person has something wrong with them. There are a lot of people who don't believe in mental illness or they are just bullies in general. Random person isn't important. We all know how hard you work at wellness and we all care.

Sounds like they may believe mental illness doesn't exists?

AARGH! It just lost my post that I spent 25 mins writing! It's so hard to concentrate and then it just disappears grrrrrrrrr

Atypical: People IRL often can't tell I'm ill so how is some idiot over the internet supposed to know for sure? Sorry they invalidated you, but it sounds like their own issues not you

Newtus: Have you done anything about volunteering at Petsmart and yoga classes? I think it's a great idea as you need something to distract you from your sadness and suicidal thoughts and get you re-engaged with life

*Willow*

Good point, I hadn't thought about that.

Oh I don't mind it, I was just explaining how it worked.

You know once my pdoc actually picked up the phone right away and of course it was the one time I didn't actually want to talk to him...my T made me call him because she wasn't sure if I was having a heart attack or a hallucination----of course when I want to talk to him its like 2 days right? So yeah if they are not busy they do pick up but its rare...

Thanks for this. I was mostly scared about the nausea and vomiting that I've read about that happens during Zyprexa withdrawal, but I'm thinking twice about stopping the meds now. Cheers.

Odd, I haven't ate all day and I just ate a peace of left over KFC chicken from the fridge. I had a hard time finishing it. From someone who wants to loose weight... somehow it's a relief.

not yet. im worried about doing those things. i actually forgot to go by this weekend and talk to petsmart. but oh well. im worried i couldnt handle those things. really worried.

The only way you will know for sure is to try. And you mustn't let fear beat you. I'm scared of most things, but I'm just taking it step by step. And I guess I'm good at compartmentalising. If you're out, you just have to put your symptoms in a box and power through. It's hard at first, but then it becomes second nature - now I don't even have to consciously try to put on an act. I believe that you can do this Newtus And it will help your mood and self esteem

*Willow*

thanks willow ill try to do something.