Roll Call 19

From what you've said about him, it sounds like your son is taking advantage of you cos you're not as strict as his father. Like Cracking said, make him help clean before his friend is allowed over.

Hope you find something that helps

*Willow*

No he made these plans when I was sleeping. I told him no and then he's like why can't I go it's not my fault the house is a mess. See he gets a way with too much with me. I just give in bc I don't wanna argue with him. He'll just keep on me until I give in. His old t said he thinks it's bc I have PTSD and he knows he can push me around. Idk but I do know he doesn't behave this way with his dad.

Now he's harassing me for money...Ugh. I'm broke but I'm letting him take 20 out.

I'm very sorry that your son is treating you this way. You deserve respect! He should have asked you before making the plans. It's your house, not his.

sunshine I'm not trying to be rude but you should NOT allow him to do you like that! If you don't have money to give then don't! And he should earn the money first! He could help you clean up and get paid for that if you had it to give. But if you don't then say NO and mean it! You cannot allow him to continue to mistreat you!

Sunshine I'm sorry that your son treats you like this. Cracking is right, you deserve respect!

*Willow*

God he's being a brat. I'm out of one of my meds and asked him to get it but he said he'll be late for the bus. Then I asked him to get it on his way back before the pharmacy closes at 6, but he's like I won't be back by then. Basically it's just benadryl so I'm just gonna have him buy it. I just can't afford to always buy it bc I take it at such high doses.

I know but it's been going on so long... it will take a lot of work to change it I just don't wanna deal with it. This is why he's living with his dad. But I guess his dad wants it to be 2 weeks here 2 weeks there. My son wants it that way too. He rules here so.... it works out for him, lol.

sunshine: Your son is not being very nice to you! I'm really sorry you have to put up with that. If I were you, I'd tell him that if he's going to stay in your house then he must respect you and help you out. If he's not going to follow by those very simple rules then maybe he needs to go back to his dad's house. I know that would be tough to say to your son whom you love very much but you must put your foot down and demand that he be respectful and kind to you. You deserve love and respect and kindness sunshine!

Is your son still in school? How old is he?

Your son needs to learn that everyone has responsibilities (like cleaning the house) and has to treat others with respect. I appreciate that it will take a lot on your part to stand up to him and not back down, but that is the only way he will respect you. You have to demand respect from him and not tolerate anything less. Living at yours part time isn't going to work if he continues treating you so badly. Either he needs to be at his Dad's full time, or he needs to change the way he treats you Sunshine

*Willow*

No he got his ged. Right now he's working on getting a job through an agency that helps with getting a job. He's probably gonna be starting college this coming fall though. He's really intelligent and I hope he uses that to his advantage.

Hopefully that agency will help him find a job that he can enjoy. Maybe working will help him mature more and understand how to become more responsible. I'm sure it's hard for him to bounce back and forth from your house for two weeks to his dad's house for two weeks. But you're his mother and you need his help and his respect. Maybe you can sit him down and have a serious talk with him and explain how it makes you feel when he mistreats you?

He's 18.

At 18 he is considered a legal adult and you don't have to put up with any emotional abuse from him. That is what he is doing to you, abusing you emotionally. That's not fair to you sunshine!

That's a really good idea. I think I'll try that later. His best friend that's coming over is like u treat ur mom like ****. But he listens to him. Maybe we will have the talk when his best friend comes over.

sunshine you deserve better treatment from your son! You must believe that you deserve better!

Good luck!

*Willow*

Just so everyone knows he's the only one I let treat me this way. I think it's bc I feel bad for him bc I've been so unstable in his life. And until recently he had basically no dad. So I've felt guilty over him having to deal with my mi. And not having a dad. But it's not gonna work with him living here if this is how it's gonna be.

i feel real paranoid and idk why

I understand that guilt feeling very well. I feel that way with my three kids also. My girls dad has never been in their lives and my son's dad didn't take an interest in him until he was 18 years old. He's 22 now. I've had to have these serious talks with my kids before too. Just because I have "mental issues" doesn't give them a right to mistreat me. I don't deserve to be punished for my mental issues that are not my fault. I've straight up told all three of my kids that if they are going to live with me they will respect me. If not then they'll have to get their own place. My girls are 18 and 19. Both graduate this May and will go on to college. My son is 22. He graduated three years ago. He works and attends a local college. That's one of my rules, if you live in my house then you either work or attend college. You cannot live here if you're not doing one or the other. I know I haven't always been the best mother due to my mental issues but it is my job to see that my kids respect me and become independent adults. And I deserve respect from them no matter what.

U really think it's emotional abuse? I have always just thought it's somewhat normal. I don't know it's been going on for so long I'm used to it.

See since the psychosis I went into I haven't been the same and I'm not working. So he always says if ur not doing anything then why do I have to? It's true I'm not doing anything. It makes me cry bc that psychosis really screwed me up. I'm even trying to get on disability bc since that psychosis I've been even more unstable.

Yes sunshine I totally think it is emotional abuse! From what you have described you feel guilty for being unstable due to your mental health issues and you feel guilty for his dad not being around. It sounds to me like your son knows this and knows what buttons to push with you to get his way. He uses your emotions against you! It sounds like he rules the house and does what he wants without ever considering how you feel. Just because you have allowed him to behave this way doesn't mean he should continue to do so. You said his best friend even says he treats you like poo. So your son knows it's wrong but just continues to do it. That's emotional abuse.

sunshine you have a reason for not working, your son doesn't. He can't use that excuse! He's just trying to manipulate you! And there's zero accuse for treating you like poo no matter what your mental health issues are!