Roll Call 20

WHY is it so quiet in here? I'm bored out of my mind, I need some entertainment.

Well one of my favorite comedians is coming to town. here is when he was in Hawaii doing a show.

That guy is funny! I just watched the first twenty minutes of it. I'll watch the rest later tonight. Thanks for posting that!

Heh glad you like him. He also has a special on Netflix too. I think you can find more on YouTube.

Awesome! I'll have to check that out. Thanks.

My wife and i went to see him live with her brother. Last time we hung out before he passed. "Fluffy" was really funny.

Yesterday morning and this morning I felt a lot of anxiety and felt very paranoid. It has lasted for a couple of hours and once I get busy it has gone away. It's so weird how strong it comes on in the morning time. I'm not usually like that in the morning time. I hope I'm not like that tomorrow morning.

Morning anxiety can't be fun at all. I don't get anxious as a general rule, but I do get severely agitated and when it happens in the morning it feels especially ******.

The anxiety really sucks but being paranoid is way worse for me.

...i almost made myself throw up so i could lose weight faster...but i back out cuz my dad woke up...

Apparently your paranoia needs to learn how to **** off. I hope it does, I know my own experiences with paranoia can be paralyzing.

That's a really bad idea. Voice of experience talking here.

Please don't start doing this Newtus! It will only create more health problems. (Remember two years ago my oldest daughter was in an eating disorder hospital. I learned a lot there too.)

i wanna do it so bad. so bad that i wanna cut myself cuz im sick of looking at my stomach. i can do it on command. idk how...but i can.

It's not worth it newtus. Being heavier than you want to be is temporary. Making yourself throw up consistently can have permanent consequences, as can cutting yourself.

Have you ever tried running? My cousin is an ultra runner/personal trainer/body builder/ tri-athlete who suffers from PTSD. When she feels panicky she just runs and she looks great...so thin, six pack abs etc but it's from exercise not something unhealthy. It really helps her psychologically as well she was able to get off her Xanax after being on it for a couple of years. It's just a different strategy.

:/ :/ :/ its too late i already cut myself but ill try not to throw up. i just cant stand this being 130 pounds. i was 105 six months ago and these meds blew me up. im so pissed and sad cuz of it. thats partly why i dont want them anymore.

its just i tried to eat less and healthier and that HELPS ME OFF MEDS BUT NOT ON. you cant lose weight on these meds.

Newtus I'm 223 pounds so I totally understand how you feel about your weight. But sweetheart please don't continue to hurt yourself!

Maybe exercising or running like Sometimes P said would help? Could you try this?

Yeah, the last thing you need is to develop an eating disorder.

i could try this i guess. ive been trying to exercise lately and its not going well. id have to get in my car and goto a park or track to run. its far.

this has scared me for a long time because a lot of times i deny myself from eating to lose weight. and i hate to say this like this but thats what i plan to do these next 2-3 weeks to lose weight for cali.

Don't you live out near open fields? You could run there?

If you do this you will break down your body. You could become very sick. You won't have energy either. Please find a better way