Roll Call 20

Im sorry faerie.
Ive done reception many times and i absolutely hate it. You have to take too much c@@p.

Its pretty late in the day you'll probably have to leave a message... I'm sure it will all work out can you call your doc to get a sample packet to tide you over?

I've learned not to let people bother me, I would have hung up on her.

I have other medications that aren't just with my pdoc. I have 4 days worth of meds now. Hopefully I can get things worked out. I left a message. Otherwise I'm sol.

Unfortunately, this would have gotten me fired. There's a lot of things I would do if I let my darker mind take over.... none of them are good ideas. I just have to keep it from being a thought loop....

But... also then my walking buddy.... god... she pisses me off. We can't even discuss. She just got a yorki-chahuauau, so I was telling her how it took us 4 years to housetrain our yorki. But now, the big dog that moved in with my MIL is unpotty training because ot it (and she pees like a gallon.) So this friend goes off "You should do this and you should do that. You should demand this and demand that." And it's like STFU lady! You don't live in my house. You don't have to deal with all the issues people I live with have. It's not so easy to tell a woman with bipolar mixed with boarderline personality distorder and psychosis that she has to train her dog - her most charished companion,- to fix it or the dog goes.... hahaha. No. it's just so annoying dealing with peopel who think they know everything because their simple little lives are so easy vs. your life where every moment is a possible confrontation.

And then to get to sit here for another hour trying to undo all the things some random lady did just because she decided she can just scream at the mentally ill girl and push her over the edge.....

phase 1. i feel all dreamy like. like when im psychotic. im entering into a realm of philosophical thought.

Did you see the meditation that canablissfully posted about the feather and the sunbeam....it's pretty awesome...somewhere in roll call a couple of pages back.

That sound nice...is that what you were looking for or are you worried about being too psychotic?

I work as a Registered Nurse and have to deal with family members on a daily basis. Yesterday a family member called, cursing me out because their loved one wasn't picking up the phone in their room They insisted the phone was broken and that I go and fix it.
I politely told them "I don't work for AT&T" and hung up!

yep thats what im looking for. but in the next phase ill probably be hearing lots of voices soon. im starting to think some psychotic thoughts. like riding in the car with my door open again and stuff like that.

im a little worried about being too psychotic cuz i have to goto cali soon and get on that flight.

Well I saw the Psychiatrist He was very nice
we talked for a while then he started asking me questions and I was open
and honest I had a hard time so he told me to take a breath relax and we would
go over things a little bit at a time. He prescribed me Something called Risperdal.
So I need to pick that up. I hope it helps,I'm a little nervous about taking a medication,
like this for the first time.. I am on 2mg. So the first time i take this,What should I
expect? has anyone else here ever taken this before?

Well you can always increase the AP if it goes too far...better for you to do it than a doc...so bring it with you to Cali just in case...

Also I feel sooo much better after talking it out with someone
It really made me feel like a load had been dropped off me.

For me within a day my voices were cut in half so a fast response is reasonable like within a week or so if you are on an effective dose. This is a really good med for stabilizing people but it's got a couple of drawbacks...ie I gained ten pounds on 2mg. Initially my pdoc wanted me on 4 mg but when I went up to 3mg I started lactating so that was a no go...this can apparently even happen in men the effect is so strong. Anyway not everyone will get that and you're on a lower dose. Risperdal is notorious for increasing prolactin so if you're female your body can be faked into thinking you're pregnant and you'll stop having a period and kind of lose interest in sex....if that happens there are alternatives like adding or switching to abilify which is also weight neutral. Risperdal is really the best med to start with because it's fast and a strong d2 blocker but if you start having side effects you don't want don't be afraid to talk to your doc about it sometimes they will give you something to combat the problem and sometimes they will switch meds entirely depending on what it is. These meds work differently for everyone so you have to play around a bit to get an ideal med. I know this sounds kind of on the scary side but unfortunately there are not a lot of alternatives.

yea risperdal made me lactate

Ok well I already have this condition where I don't have many periods and
Have to take a medicine to force my body into having them.The condition is called Pcos
so I wonder how this will work with that?.. Hmm I guess I will have to wait and find out.
Thanks for the info! Darnit I hope I don't gain weight with this! I already have an issue
with gaining weight quickly! lol. Well it's ok as long as it helps and get's rid of these creepy
voices and hallucinations I will be happy

There are 3 APs that are considered weight neutral they are abilify Geodon and Latuda...so if you feel the need to switch ask your doc if you can have one of those. Latuda is the newest so less is known about it but the drug co is pushing it pretty hard right now. Abilify is great at decreasing the prolactin effect but it works a little different it binds to like 90% of the D2 receptor but only activates it weakly most APs totally block the D2 but bind more in the 70-80% range leaving some natural signaling Geodon the only bad thing is you have to take it with meals because you don't absorb it correctly without food. There are others but if you're worried about weight I would specifically avoid zyprexa/olanzapine it is the worst for weight gain.

i take risperdal. a lot of it. my body thinks im pregnant already. i dont get my periods at all. i lactate some but not a lot

Thanks so much I am gonna take this first and If it gives me an issue I will ask
to be put on a different medication. I am sure I will notice any weight change within the first
week or so of taking this since I am always checking my weight anyway. It will be so nice
not to have the voices anymore and the hallucinations,They have been going on since childhood.
It's almost too good to be true. lol But we'll see! I felt comfortable with this psychiatrist
They seemed to know what they were doing.

Lol where were you when I was going through meds left and right?

Probably focused on getting myself better..my pdoc was awesome so it never occurred to me to go to an online forum for help...it was actually when he wanted to take me off the meds the second time that I sort of freaked out and found PC.

That is something I worry about for myself,If I get dependent on this medicine
I hope I will be able to switch off it when I have to later.

Ah, probably so. I've been on Zyprexa for like two years now. Since then I've only had like one "hospital" visit. It hasn't got rid of the voices/seeing things completely but it sure has made it manageable.

the pills vs the injection is what i like better.

Yeah well you don't get addicted to it or anything it's more like you have to taper slowly because of like a rebound psychosis that can happen. If you take a perfectly average person and give them an AP for at least two weeks and then just stop it immediately they can actually develop psychosis due to an increase in the number of dopamine receptors in the brain because the brain tried to compensate for the drug blockade and now all those are responding to endogenous dopamine. So if you do go off you have to do it slowly. I think the first time I tried to go off it was just too fast. We cut a 10mg dose of abilify to 5mg and I started to get really angry and anxious. If you taper more slowly you don't feel anything bad at all. So we ended up going from 10 to 7.5 to 5 to 2.5 to nothing with a 6 week period in between. Also they typically want you to be symptom free for at least 6 months before you try going off albeit if it's drug based that's a little different and you can get off sooner.