Roll Call 21

heres more pics from my trip

Just playing taxi for my kids. That's all.

Just got off the phone with her.
She seems more calm now. 100 mg clozaril so far not seeing or hearing anything at this level although she questions every sound and sight to see if it is real or not.

Blood levels are good, a little slurred garbled speech but she always had that....

She needs something for sleep though but im just glad she is not wired and hyper-anxious like she was while they started it! Whew, that was really bad!

Were going to see her tomorrow.
Maybe next week they said she may be ready for a pass so we can take her on an outing.

We just want her HOME.
Thank u for asking cracking... It feels like we are in suspended animation while she is gone and life will start back up when she comes home.

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Thanls for the pics Newtus.

I want that lobster....just sayin...

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it was alive too!

and glad bean is doing better

but like 100mg of clozaril. thats so much of that drug. i just cant believe it...

I'll take that lobster with a side of crab legs please

Not really.
An adult starts out at 25 mg amd gpes up from there.
They started her out at 15.

I.cant remember what a normal therapeudic dose is but its a lot higher than 100 mg.

So far, the only drug that has gotten rid of all hallucinations. Totally.

I hear there is a movement to begin using this drug more. Studies show it is very effective amd should not be used just as a last resort.

As long as its tolerated during the first couple of weeks, studies show it is safer than what they thought and works better at keeping psychosis away.

The more I read on it, the more I see how some people can live better lives with it.

Im not trying to convince anyone, Its just very interesting to see such a scary drug not be as scary as some people think it is. Ya know?

This crap scared me...but so far she feels good and likes it.

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BUT....
Im not saying ots for.everyone.

Blood tests are all the time! Sheesh!

And she can come off it.
As she gets older and can handle herself more, meds may change for her.

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so... a former resident of the program im in died. wtf. ppl keep dying. he was my fb friend. i found out thru fb. i feel sad. i hope it wasnt sucide but i suspect it was

Im so sprry to hear this junk.
Its very sad.

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well i found out he committed suicide. he jumped from a bridge in nyc. so sad

Oh junk. Thats terrible. So sorry.

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i feel so sad. its close to the anniversary of my dads death too. april 30th will be 17 years now. people dying triggers my grief. i hate grieving. why are so many people dying???????????

im sorry junkdna.

why do the people keep dying? idk. but try not to let it trigger psychosis too.

i always saw clozaril as a scary drug because once it starts affecting you in a bad way then what can they do for you?

idk maybe its not as bad as it seems but still like you said punky its not for everyone

i took a prn. so i dont hear voices because of being upset. i texted T but he didnt respond. i told him what happened. the prn is helping.

my therapist also actually thinks im not seeing a psychiatrist cause i laughed when she asked me who i was seeing. cause see i dont want to tell her who. so she asked "so who are you not seeing?"

idk it was just a kinda bad session.

Well my son is going back to his dads tomorrow. He's been here a month and a half. I'm gonna miss him. We live quite a ways from the bus stop and his dad is able to drive him around so it's easier for him. We still talk quite a bit when he's gone.

I met my son's gf yesterday. She's really cute and shy. I'm happy for him though.

How's everyone tonight? Or whoever is up.

im up still

How are u doing? Sorry about ur friend. My son just went for a jog so I'm cruising the net. Tomorrow I'm gonna do my walking video. Gaining weight too fast on this risperdal. What's ur prn med?

im ok i guess. wish i could talk to T about my feelings. i talked to my mom some so that helped. but i will see T on monday. my prn is seroquel. im in the process of getting off risperdal and switching to latuda but they want me on seroquel first. they increased seroquel to 600mg and risperdal to 1mg. then on monday i can be off the risperdal pills. but i still get a 25mg shot every week which is what i really want off of. but they dont want me off of it yet. they are afraid i wont take my meds if im not on a shot. T said hes scared and wants to protect me and our progress. i believe him but i really dont like the shot.

I had a mostly good day, but the voices got angry when I came out to my aunt as sza. Had a brief scary VH of water afterward which hasn't happened in a while. Nothing I can't deal with. I just don't understand why they were angry?? I didn't say anything revealing...

Yeah it would suck having the shot. I'm taking 1-2 mgs a day of risperdal and also latuda. I'm on a low dose of the latuda bc at the higher doses I was having really bad insomnia and anxiety. We're gonna slowly increase it so hopefully my body adjusts.

I hate the hunger on risperdal but it really helps with my anxiety and paranoia, so for now I'm staying on it.

Sounds like u have a really caring therapist.

I've never really had hallucinations other than when I was a teenager on acid. My problem is more delusions. It's difficult bc I was in a organization that I and many others have been abused in. But I start seeing connections where there isn't any. Oh it sucks.

Sounds like ur having a good night though.