Roll Call 21

I know what you mean.
So many meds......
They work for a little while and then symptoms come back or they dont work at all or you have a bad reaction.

What has worked the best in the past?

Atypical sorry you're having this happen
I keep telling my Dr and nurse it's a real, but they don't listen, they just ask me stupid questions.

Haldol has helped, and to some extent Zyprexa. But I'm scared that meds are poison, there's really no need for me to die. It's not necessary even though I don't see a point in going on right now.

Things have just been getting weirder and weirder.

But those drugs are there just to blind me to the truth, I know better than to fall for their sick little games.

I'm not on any anti psychotics right now and I feel like I can actually think now so what's the point in being on them? I don't see one.

Just watching my local news and they were talking about police checking emails, texts and calls. They read out some views and only 1 saw a problem with this

WTF is wrong with everyone

Seriously? I don't understand people, like at all.

I know - I don't understand it either

Thanks. I just don't understand why they're wanting to medicate me for something that's not there. This stuff is real and I'm sick of people not believing me. Nobody believes a word I say for ****'s sake.

These pills MAKE me symptomatic. I didn't have issues with thought disorganization until AFTER I was medicated. WTF. Can NOBODY ****ing see this except me? These damn drugs are poison and I'm sick of everybody telling me I need to take them. It's ********.

That sucks
If they did that, I don't blame you for not wanting the meds.

I'm taking less of my medication for the same reason, I just don't need them.
They want me on injections so they can check.

I've been trying forever to make them believe me, I give them proof and it still doesn't help.

Okay. so if your not on any AP right now by choice, then maybe try to ride out the way your feeling. Try to sort it out in your head.

If you feel clearer without the AP, give it a try and see how it goes. Just do a lot of reality checking. There are some who choose to do this and figure out how to do it successfully. You just have to be careful and mindful of your thoughts, and know if it gets beyond your control, to get help before psychosis takes over completely. Ya know what I mean?

Lots of catching up I need to do on here.

Newtus, was cali fun? What all did u do? Did u make it to any beaches?

Ok I think I'm just gonna read the last couple pages, lol.

I'm doing way better. Sleeping on less meds so that's good. I am taking a lot of meds though...Hope once I've been stable awhile I can cut back. Taking risperdal which helps soooo much...But oh I hate the hunger. I think I've gained back 10lbs in the last couple of weeks. Still isolating but I got my apt clean.

Ok Im gonna go read how everybody is doing.

Love that! I'm a little obsessed with Marilyn. I've read like every book there is about her.

My week with Marilyn is really good too. Thanks for the quote.

I'm sorry u are having such a hard time.

They're trying to do the same thing to me. That's what the noise in my head is for.

I agree. I've decided to dump my CMHT as they don't believe that I'm not faking this ****!!

IDK...Lots of people say I'm depressed, but meds haven't helped that and that's real, so maybe you just haven't found the best one yet?

Why did you stop the AP?

Yeah that stuff freaks me out. I know that my mobile line has been tapped so they know what I'm saying. It sucks! And I don't get how others can think this is acceptable!? I'm just a person on benefits, not a criminal or a terrorist or something!

I worry about the meds being poison, and a lot of them have caused me awful side effects, so I can understand you feeling that way. Is there anyone IRL you can talk to and get a reality check/second opinion/advocate from?

Trying to get hold of a dr to talk to about my Mum is nigh on impossible! Grrrrr! I want to know the facts so I can stop worrying about things which might never happen.

Also I've decided to cancel my GP appt on Wed. If I might need to be a donor for Mum, then I can't say anything to anyone that they might think is attention seeking because I will need to pass the psych eval.

Mum wants me to write a letter to the CMHT expressing my POV on the inaccuracies in my notes, to be put in my notes. But I don't really see the point: they're not going to believe anything I say, and it will probably be seen as me trying to get attention by desperately trying to prove that I'm mentally ill *sigh*

I worry that having told you guys what my notes said, that you will now think that too

*Willow*

I would certainly make sure your POV is stated in the notes like ur mum said.

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Willow, I don't think you're seeking attention. Not at all.

I'm sorry your thoughts are being messed with too, it seriously sucks!

I stopped taking my AP because it wasn't helping and it's poisonous anyway so to hell with that.

to everyone struggling.

i feel like im being controlled in psychiatry. like spied on in my situation. and then overall like its a big game to them but yet all about money.

and their drugs ARE poison. most people i dont think get help from it as much as they get negative poisoning from it.

sunshine - yea i had fun in california. i visited san francisco too and saw all my aunts and uncles and cousins. and most importantly my grandma.

I am so glad it is Friday. I am ready for a break from my job.

Newtus I'd love to see more pictures from your trip when you get ready to share them.

Punky: How is Bean doing? Any progress on the medication yet? Is she still in the hospital? Give us an update when you can.

Big hugs to those of you who are struggling today

Does anyone have anything fun planned for this weekend?

I don't have anything planned, how about u?

i was hallucinating while driving today it was nervewrecking. im home and still hearing stuff