Roll Call 26

newtus · May 29, 2014, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Thanks for posting so we know you are OK---I'm sorry things aren't going well for you right now---did you ever get a hold of your doc about the AD making you hypomanic?

no. after the third time calling i gave up. and this was during business hours. i might wait til next session now cuz i see her tuesday. i just quit taking the AD. that prob has been the best thing i did so far on that AD. besides my weight and being home alone ive been pretty happy...well til today. my dad says the planes are just crop dusters but im having trouble believing him. i think they are after me. me and my info. they are flying so low to the ground and divebombing this area. and my house.

besides all that i went to the mall yesterday with my dad and had so much fun. we went to a lot of stores and i bought some clothes and trinkets. AND i bought a playgirl magazine. can you belive it? they had them at barnes and noble!!!

May 29, 2014, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

im still scared to drive. so i been having my dad drive me around but he has to go back to work tomorrow so this sucks. im pissed cuz i cant lose weight. im trying so hard. i cant get out of the 130s. my dad says my goal weight of 105 was ok if i was still a teeneger. but my stomach protrudes in my shirts and my thighs are huge.

my paranoia is back full swing. i see airplanes everywhere divebombing my house.

It's so good to hear from you! I worry about you when you don't post

I'm really sorry that you're struggling right now. I'm really glad that your dad has been able to be around and help you with driving. I know you'll miss him a lot when he goes back to work. If you get lonely post on Roll Call. I check in here a lot during the day. I'm struggling with zero motivation and a bit of depression right now. Just trying to keep myself from falling down the rabbit hole!

May 29, 2014, 01:39 PM

newtus: Your dad would not lie to you! Believe him. He loves you and wants to keep you safe.

newtus · May 29, 2014, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cracking Slowly

newtus: Your dad would not lie to you! Believe him. He loves you and wants to keep you safe.

its just hard when my illness partially revolved around planes

Sometimes psychotic · May 29, 2014, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

no. after the third time calling i gave up. and this was during business hours. i might wait til next session now cuz i see her tuesday. i just quit taking the AD. that prob has been the best thing i did so far on that AD. besides my weight and being home alone ive been pretty happy...well til today. my dad says the planes are just crop dusters but im having trouble believing him. i think they are after me. me and my info. they are flying so low to the ground and divebombing this area. and my house.

besides all that i went to the mall yesterday with my dad and had so much fun. we went to a lot of stores and i bought some clothes and trinkets. AND i bought a playgirl magazine. can you belive it? they had them at barnes and noble!!!

Yeah I think it was a good idea to quit the AD---its really disturbing that she can't get back to you in close to a week to advise on stuff like that. I'm glad you are happy and got to go on a shopping spree---sounds fun!

Sometimes psychotic · May 29, 2014, 02:39 PM

Have you guys noticed we have much more community liaison activity on the board lately...like if a question doesn't get answered right away they respond with something---I don't remember ever having that before just like we don't typically get the green mods at the bottom like on the other boards....did we become more popular or something?

May 29, 2014, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Have you guys noticed we have much more community liaison activity on the board lately...like if a question doesn't get answered right away they respond with something---I don't remember ever having that before just like we don't typically get the green mods at the bottom like on the other boards....did we become more popular or something?

I have noticed that. I think it's great especially when someone needs an immediate response.

Sometimes psychotic · May 29, 2014, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cracking Slowly

I have noticed that. I think it's great especially when someone needs an immediate response.

Yeah it is nice I was just surprised I think because I've never seen them on this board before...

newtus · May 29, 2014, 04:06 PM

im going to seriously ask my pdoc if theres anything and i mean anything i can do besides taking all these medications. or lessen them. im going to ask her what it means for me to have schizophrenia. not like what IT IS. but what it means for ME. is there any hope for me becuse these medications are killing me and triggering stuff i dont like.

May 29, 2014, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by punkybrewster6k

I am leaving this house. My husband has been trying to force Bean and I out for weeks now. Even calling the police to try and make them force us to leave. The police gave me a card with his number written on it for domestic violence. I finally give up. We leave in the next few days.

Bean does not deserve this. She cannot be raised to think all a woman deserves is to be treated this way.

I will not allow a man to teach her that this is how to be treated.

She is begging to leave this house and I dont blame her. It is a neverending hell with the hurtful filth that comes out of his mouth.

I am so sad and scared to go across the country to a place I dont know. But it is the only way to get away from him. Its my fault. I put Bean and I in this situation and I am so sorry for that.

We will finally have peace in our life instead of chaos. There was never peace and happiness here. Only his drama and crisis all day long every day.

He is an abuser who will never admit or accept that fact. It will always be someone elses fault and in this case, mine.

I am a kind, loving, well educated woman who fell for sweet talk and then it turned to poison.

Sorry about putting this here on roll call but you are all my friends and I need you all so much right now. I cant stop crying.

I have so much guilt for allowing this behavior and for allowing Bean to see it. We should have left years ago with the first warning signs.

Thank you for listening. Oxox

punky

Oh Punky!

I'm so sorry that you're going through this, but you have to be strong and get yourself out of that situation for both your and Bean's sakes. Is now a good time to be cutting down your benzo though? You have so much on your plate right now, that I really don't think you should be making things more difficult. Lots of

for you and Bean

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

In the US they generally try not to diagnose any sort of axis II (personality disorder) when you have an active axis I disorder(bp, sz, sza etc).

I'm not saying it doesn't happen but its generally regarded as invalid....

It's regarded as invalid here too, but happens all the time

*Willow*

May 29, 2014, 05:12 PM

newtus: Don't forget......Black Box comes on tonight!

newtus · May 29, 2014, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cracking Slowly

newtus: Don't forget......Black Box comes on tonight!

ill try not to forget

May 29, 2014, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

ill try not to forget

I'll remind you again later

justmeandmyhead · May 29, 2014, 06:24 PM

Got a question for you guys. Does anyone here with sz have trouble believing that they have it? Like they can see that the symptoms match that diagnosis but it doesn't feel real.

Atypical_Disaster · May 29, 2014, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justmeandmyhead

Got a question for you guys. Does anyone here with sz have trouble believing that they have it? Like they can see that the symptoms match that diagnosis but it doesn't feel real.

Yes, I've had this issue on and off.

justmeandmyhead · May 29, 2014, 06:54 PM

Thanks atypical helps to know it's not just me

TheatreKid · May 29, 2014, 07:10 PM

I don't have sz, just a disorder that includes psychosis, but I question certain aspects of it. Who's to say reality is a universal, uniform perception? Seriously, what looks like blue to me could look completely different to you, but we both call it blue. Reality is subjective. Generally, the way we perceive others is totally through our own lenses. We constantly attribute thoughts and feelings to people and those thoughts and emotions come from OUR brains, not theirs.

Then again, at least for now while I'm treating my disorder, I'm more functional. I think. As an actor/musician, I'd love to go off my meds and become a shooting star of creativity, but there's always the downside to that.

newtus · May 29, 2014, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justmeandmyhead

Got a question for you guys. Does anyone here with sz have trouble believing that they have it? Like they can see that the symptoms match that diagnosis but it doesn't feel real.

i do. im afraid to say why i think so cuz i know everyone here doesnt share my beliefs so im reluctant to say why. but i can say even when im sick and well i dont believe i have it but when i look back at my past actions and stuff i believe i do. but it seems so like you said "doesnt feel real". i have a hard time grasping schizophrenia and i keep reading the basic things about it. voices paranoia cognitive symptoms etc but it seems like i just cant get it how i have it but i do.

May 29, 2014, 09:03 PM

newtus: Black Box is on right now!!!

newtus · May 29, 2014, 09:23 PM

im watching it now

Sometimes psychotic · May 29, 2014, 09:35 PM

https://forums.psychcentral.com/gene...y-liaison.html

Did you guys see this...I think it may be why we're getting more liaison presence in the board...also newtus it made me think of you....you didn't wan to be a chat leader becuase of the schedule....have you ever considerd being a community liaison?

ZehR · May 30, 2014, 09:51 AM

Does anyone else sometimes say "I know you're watching me *******" in an empty room alone. If I'm wrong, no one can hear me anyways and if im right, maybe I scared the **** out of some secret organization.

StarStrike · May 30, 2014, 09:56 AM

Been hearing the voices on and off all day. Listening in I've heard them say things such as. "It's the only way." and "It won't get better if you do nothing." I dread to think what they are talking about. I think I'm losing my mind.

justmeandmyhead · May 30, 2014, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZehR

Does anyone else sometimes say "I know you're watching me *******" in an empty room alone. If I'm wrong, no one can hear me anyways and if im right, maybe I scared the **** out of some secret organization.

I do a similar thing I scream at people in my head to stop reading my mind hoping it might shock then out or hurt them. I do it at people to test them but they are skilled actors so they don't flinch

newtus · May 30, 2014, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

https://forums.psychcentral.com/gene...y-liaison.html

Did you guys see this...I think it may be why we're getting more liaison presence in the board...also newtus it made me think of you....you didn't wan to be a chat leader becuase of the schedule....have you ever considerd being a community liaison?

i might think about doing that. seems more schedule-free

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